Any notes or suggestions?

Question

A Good Long Hot Shower

With the steam

and water

flowing around my shoulders

I open.

This heat,

this relaxation

seeps deep into me,

Deeper than flesh,

deeper than nerve

and finds the core of me.

Scalding

bright

heat

opens me

to free flowing

acceptance of me.

Revealing subcutaneous,

subterranean

subconscious

truths that I had forgotten to realize,

forgotten to learn,

or refused to see.

Now I realize this unfathomable truth.

The imperviousness of me.

Always feeling disliked,

unloved

or unaccepted unseen,

it was my own blindness,

my own inability

to retain love

be liked

or accepted.

As if multitudes

of sharpened shards of love

were thrown at me

and only sliced clean through.

Cutting and

bloodying then sliding through,

leaving no trace of themselves save the scars

and the lesson learned

DUCK!!

Answer 1

I absolutely loved the last paragraph!

But the poem seems to be slightly bipolar...  I thought the end was "...the lesson learned/DUCK" which would have been witty, a great change of pace.  But then you picked up again as you had been.  Confusing.

Overall, I think it's good.

Answer 2

its good. i love that u just say what u feel and dont rhyme every line(like i do.. im so ocd!)

kinda confusing what ur actually talkin about tho. is it a time-lapse or just scattered events? maybe reconstruct it a bit so its more clear