Any one got any good jokes?

Question

Any one got any good jokes?

Answer 1

Check out funny jokes here

Answer 2

  

          Are my test results back?

    In a hospital room, there was a man resting on the bed with an oxygen mask on.

When the nurse came in the room to open the blinds, the man asked her, "Are my testicles black?"

To which she replied, "I do not know... I am only here to open the blinds." The man asked her again, "Are my testicles black?" And he kept asking until he got on her nerves so much, that she finally unzipped his hospital gown, looked down there, checked under them, and said,

"They are fine." With a confused look on his face, he took of his mask, and shouted, "I SAID, ARE MY TEST RESULTS BACK????"

Answer 3

every night lil kids check under there bed for the boggie man right well the boggie man checks under his bed for chuck norris

Answer 4

A man named Joe died, and when he got to heaven, he greeted St. Peter.

Joe said, "It's a fine job you've had here for a long time."

"Well, Joe," said St. Peter, 'here we count a million years as a minute and a million dollars as a cent.

Joe said, "I need some cash. Could you please lend me a cent."

"Sure," said St. Peter, "wait just a minute..."

Answer 5

Two nuns, Sister Marilyn and Sister Helen, are traveling through Europe in their car. They get to Transylvania and are stopped at a traffic light.

Suddenly, out of nowhere, a tiny little Dracula jumps onto the hood of the car and hisses through the windshield.

“Quick, quick!” shouts Sister Marilyn. “What shall we do?”

“Turn the windshield wipers on. That will get rid of the abomination,” says Sister Helen.

Sister Marilyn switches them on, knocking Dracula about, but he clings on and continues hissing at the nuns.

“What shall I do now”? she shouts.

“Switch on the windshield washer. I filled it up with Holy Water at the Vatican,” says Sister Helen.

Sister Marilyn turns on the windshield washer. Dracula screams as the water burns his skin, but he clings on and continues hissing at the nuns.

“Now what?” shouts Sister Marilyn?

“Show him your cross”, says Sister Helen.

“Now you're talking,” says Sister Marilyn. She opens the window and shouts, “Get the f*ck off our car!”