Any other adoptees out there TTC #1 for over 12 months? Can you relate?

Question

I was adopted at 6 weeks in to a family with 4 of their own biological children. There was a significant age difference between me and them, as well many other noticeable differences (i.e., physical appearance, temperment, personality, interests, etc. ,etc.).

My whole life i wanted nothing more than to have a child: A BLOOD RELATIVE TO WHOM I AM BIOLOGICALLY LINKED. (Long Story Short: The search for my biological mother and biological father was a disappointing, heart-wrenching ordeal chock full of rejection and re-abandonment-- and denial [on part of alleged bio dad]).

My husband and I met late in life; he was also adopted (by his bio mom's brother), but all these years later there remains an undefined chasm between him and his siblings (the bio children of his adoptive father and mother).

If you can relate, I'd love to hear from you. The isolation while TTC #1 is really depressing and devastating (miscarriages). non-adoptees take their biological family for granted.

Answer 1

Yep I get ya on this adoption thing. Being adopted was the best thing. As you have moved backward in an effort to move forward you have found that people change very little in their lives. They have rejected love and relationships all of their lives. You were not rejected you just walked into a world the rejects everything. I have two children and have really been blessed by this. I have also found that all of my life I have been blessed.

Answer 2

I find these stories so nice to read, I was never adopted, But would love to adopt a child.

I wanted to write to you to tell you never be affraid to find your birthparents, I have a friend who was adopted and he went looking for his Bio Parents and he found his sisters and brothers who were also adopted. He never did find his Bio mother and father but he was told through his local department of Social Services that his parents were probably still in prison somewhere. So he stopped looking.

I understand the heart break that you must be going through not knowing where you belong or if your family has even tried to find you.

I also understand about Misscarrages as I have had one myself. I am trying to concieve again.

Now I didn't write to you to say I know everything that you are going through I just wanted to write to you, because I believe that everyone should know where they came from. Why they didn't get to stay with them.

Answer 3

wow - I have never been in a situation like yours but your story is a heart breaker. I really feel your desire to have a blood relative, seems more urgent somehow than even my own desire for a child (ttc for 8mnths).

I think that if it comes to you having to adopt, that you and your baby will have a special link because of your history. That link may even be stronger than blood because it is so rare. I think many of us take firtility for granted.....I never imagined that i might battle. best of luck to you

Answer 4

i was adopted at birth and have always had a sense of not belonging, i have had 2 children of my own and raised them myself, i still wonder wether i should try and find my birth family but am afraid of the rejection, im 40 years old so maybe i should just accept that they didnt want me and as they have not tried to contact me i must assume they still dont want to know me, its there loss