Any other divorced parents...?

Question

Who feel like they are too much baggage for other people?

Here's the thing: I am getting divorced, and I am a single mom in my mid-20s. I am self-sufficient, and not in love with my cheating, abusing ex.

I am intelligent, have a university degree, a good government job, and I am very nice. I am decent looking, though I do have loads of stretchmarks, but, I'll learn to live with that.

Will all that being said, I know a guy who seems kind of interested. He's a great guy, nice, super cute, hard working, intelligent... actually, my dream guy! Thing is, I feel like I'm too much baggage, and he deserves so much better! anyone else feel like this? That because you're divorced, or a divorced parents, you don't want to get involved with some people because they are such good people you don't want to bring that person too close? especially if you have a crazy ex like mine..!

Answer 1

No I never felt this way. I always felt like I deserve the best, and i got it!

Have some self confidence and go after what you want.

Answer 2

Wait until you are divorced to get involved with someone else. It is going to cause all kinds of problems if you don't. As for the baggage thing, single moms are hot. You can find a guy in the same boat as you and you'll be able to relate better. Good luck!

Answer 3

unfortunately, carrying a lot of baggage (i.e. underage kids from previous marriage, crazy ex who will be in your life until the kids are 18, etc...) does make it extremely difficult to have good relationships, or second marriages.

Answer 4

I just stay away from the young, inexperienced, crazy and incredibly dumb ones.  Everyone else is fair game! We all have baggage, whether that baggage comes in the form of divorce, kids, crazy ex, abusive dad, cheating ex, bad credit, big nose, self esteem issues or bad hair.

Answer 5

ya know, i am a divorced woman 26 years old.. i am dating a divorced 35 year old man, who has 2 kids.. in the beginning, i didnt think i could handle being someones step mom, or always worrying about the ex wife... but, it takes a special kind of person to be in that kind of relationship.. i think, that, if this man seems interested, and knows what he's getting into, that you have a kid and all and arent looking to f**t around, and that you have an ex who will always be in the picture, and he is still interested, then let him make the decision if he is ready to take all this on.... dont sell yourself short because of the life you have... there are people out there who are up to that challenge.. like myself - my mans parents didnt like me in the beginning,t hey thought i would steal him and the grandkids away and they would never see them again.. he said to me once, "well, you;ve never dated a divorced man with 2 young kids." and i said, "wasnt it my decision to take all that on?" he said, "good point...." leave it to him.. make him aware of what you have, bu then, leave it up to  him...

Answer 6

You might feel like you have too much baggage, but the important thing is how he feels about you.  If he is willing to accept and love you and your child, why shouldn't you try to be happy with him?  You'll always regret letting the chance pass, if you give it up because you view yourself as some kind of burden.

Answer 7

I'm in a similar situation.  Why don't you give him a chance and let him decide?  If it's too much for him to handle then so be it, if not, that's even better!

Answer 8

if you really you are all that you say then you deserve someone special and if he is all that you say he deserves someone just like you.  

Answer 9

No i don,t feel that way . Its always the woman i meat that feel that i have to much baggage when they find out i have kids home with me especially at my age . Cant say that i blame them though there kids are raised and grown .

Answer 10

Just move slowly into the dating thing.

Answer 11

I use to fell the same way. I think it is important to just take it slow. I was divorced with 3 kids and I met a man a few years younger with no kids. I was worried that he deserved to start his own life fresh and not get involved with me and have an instant family! I was open with him about it and he always assured me that he is exactly where he wants to be. We took things slow, it took about 8 months before I even introduced him to my kids. Now 2 years later we are still together and never been happier my kids love him and he loves them. But its not always easy I also have a crazy ex who constantly talks horrible about me and him to the kids. If you both have feelings for each other then it is worth it. There will be ups and downs but all relationships have them, sometimes being divorced with kids just make them a lil more comlplicated.  

Answer 12

If he wants you for you, whats the deal? If your upfront, honest, and he knows who you are and what you come with then count your blessings and move on it. Make sure your divorce is final before you do anything. Close  the "book" on the ex, before you start a new chapter with someone else.  

Answer 13

That is the hardest thing to overcome.  I was in your shoes about 10 years ago.  The best advice I can give, is take is slow.  A man who gets involved with a single mom, and is willing to go at your pace knows what is on his plate.  Make sure you keep it honest, and don't hold back on the ex saga. Trust me, it is easier to close the door, I know.  You keep your esteem up and focus and your kid(s) and you will find happiness when you least expect it.  And those, that don't turn into the dream guy make really good friends :)

Good Luck to you!

Answer 14

Get over yourself honey...You screwed up your first marriage at the ripe age of twenty something...What makes you believe you are marrying material? You chose so wisely the first time...You are likely to repeat the same mistake.  Why don't you talk to friend who's got a head on their shoulder or aunt/uncle...Someone you look up to. You have major issues from what you wrote...Your ex is as crazy as you were with him...ok...That's a two way street...Maybe get your feet on the ground...talk to a psychologist about the nasty abuse you had growing up...get it all out there love...Do that before you s***w up again...Take care

Answer 15

And don't you think you deserve the very best???

Come on girl, let the guy love you.

I used to feel like this, then I opened my eyes and realized I deserve the very best too.

youre a great woman, and any man would be lucky to have you.