Any other married ppl - got a past sexual ptnr you can't get out of your head although you love your spouse?

Question

What does this mean? The one I can't get out of my head is a guy who made of fool of me and didn't care for me at all (he was my first and he was actually cheating on his gf/wife with me - I didn't know about her and stopped it as soon as I found out - he just laughed when I ended it). I love my husband - I am committed to our marriage and family. But this other guy I can't stop thinking about although I never really loved him - I was just infatuated and wanted him to want me. He married the gf he cheated on.

I find myself daydreaming about being able to go back in time and do things differently - like telling him to f-off before he got into my bed........like being able to be young and single again and make him really want me but not be able to have me.......like humiliating him like he did me. I feel so guilty about it as I love my husband but want this other guy to suffer for what he did....

Answer 1

I think about ALL of my past lovers all the time!!

but I am not married

but, how do you just forget about someone you've seen butt naked and seen what they look like when they o****m

not an easy task.  

Answer 2

life is like a box of chocolates...

sometimes you bite into one that tastes really s***ty

Answer 3

I think that it is normal to relive this when you had no closure. You obviously have unresolved issues and unfortunately you probably will never be able to resolve them. He was a jerk. You will never be able to understand that unless you are a jerk too, which you aren't. I can tell you that it took me 10 years to get over an ex who cheated on me when i really loved him. I was happily married with children and still letting him control some of my thoughts and my happiness. See this man for who he is/was...a selfish user who betrayed your love and didn't deserve it. Don't give him the power to have any more control over your life or take one more minute of your life to waste thinking about him. Life has a way of healing all wounds and wounding all heels. He will get what he has coming. Karma will take care of that. Let it go.

Answer 4

i really feel for you, the guy you think about sounds like a jerk,a nd you just want some revenge. take a rose and pretend its him, think of all the horrible things he did to you and how he made you feel, then crush that rose and be happy that you got past that and never have to deal with it again. take another rose, and make it represent your marriage, your husband, and your children, think of all the happiness you have now. enjoy that happiness and dont let a fool ruin your life.      one more option: go to the guy who humilated you, rip his arms off, and beat the living h**l out of him. whichever option suits you better. (lol)

Answer 5

u were rejected and humiliated. sweet, sweet revenge doesn't let u sleep. u need closure. or they say u need to forgive him. well, during my 38 long years i have never knew anyone who would forgive humiliation and rejection. maybe u should do counseling or seek revenge. and a smart one. i am sorry, i can't really know how u feel - i always have closure in my relationships and if i need to go i would go with a bang and he would remember me forever, even on his death bed. and i am married but when i am  remembering about my past relationships i feel nothing but satisfaction - either guy was very sweet and nice but i left him cos he didn't have enough money or if he was a bad guy i hurt him so much that i just feel satisaction from doing damage. (and please keep in mind - mental damage, not physical. mental hurts the most). that's  why i say sweet, sweet revenge

Answer 6

My husband IS the lover I can't get out of my mind.  I guess I married the right person.  I'm not so sure about you.

Answer 7

First, it is fine to day dream about the past but you need to focus on the now. I do have a lover that crosses my mind. I remember details and such, but it wouldn't work out. We wanted different things and such. I loved him and later on, I found out that I was the one for him, the one he would never get over. But, I lust and love my man, I dream about him. Most of the time, people who did leave some type of lasting impression on you, be good or bad, you think about and wonder about and what if about. I have noticed that the ones who done you the worse, you think about the most. It is fine to think about the past, but don't use it as a crutch because things are hard now. You need to work on the present you have kids. Look at this way, if he was cheating with you, the odds are he would have cheated on you. Think about the man you are married to now, you married him for a reason.