Any parents of pregnant teens or pregnant teens?

Question

I have a daughter who is pregnant. She is 17, will be 18 before she gives birth. I am really being supportive but am so afraid of what she's going to endure. Her boyfriend is being supportive but I wonder how long that will last. I am 44 yrs old, have raised 3 children and don't want another one to be honest. I am kind of devestated to say the least. Abortion is not an option and adoption isn't either. She's (we're) keeping the baby. I guess I'm just really scared. She's just not mature enough to have a child in my opinion. Any advice or experiences with this.. even any of you teens going through this. All answers appreciated. Thank You!

Answer 1

you guys sound just like me and my dad when i got pregnant with my first child. i was 17 (turned 18 2 wks before my son was born) and very irresponsible. I got a better paying job, got a 4 dr car, took night classes to graduate a semester early(my school threatened to kick me out if i showed at all while at school) i even changed my music choices once i found out that the baby could hear all of htat angry music. Then i got my own appartment with hand me down furniture and took care of myself and my baby 100%. She will grow up bc she has to. just be supportive-my dad was amazing, we were never close until this and now we are very close and talk about being parents. now i am 21 married(to the father of my kids) and having a great life.

Answer 2

As a former teen single mum, I know that the hardest part of the whole ordeal was having to deal with everyone doubting me. I loathed that I was always made to feel like I had to prove myself. I spent most of my pregnancy at the library reading about what I was going though and what to expect. I am in my 20's now and have just had my 2nd child and I still get frustrated with the way some people treat me when they find out how old I was when I had my son. I was 17. But I stood up to my responsibilities on my own, gave my child a stable and loving home with everything he needed. Being a parent makes me who I am. I'm sure your daughter understands that she messed up along the line and probably made some silly decisions but our mistakes make us a success. She doesn't need to be reminded of this. She will grow up very fast once she has her baby in her arms. She will be strong for her dependant. Not all teen mums are irresponsible. As long as she is always striving to be the best mum she can be, you have nothing to worry about. Teach her to hold her head high.

Answer 3

i got pregnant when i was 17 but when i gave birth i was 18, i graduated high school when i was 4 months, my boyfriend stuck by me and we were to gether for 5 years and we recently decided to take a break, but hes still there and he is still supporting his daughter. i also have my grandmother there for me which is great.....i think your doing the right thing by keeping the baby, you guys will be alright.

Answer 4

my sister got pregnant and gave birth at 17 years old, my parents and us (her sisters) were very supportive with her and actually it made her be a little more mature, she got a job and was able to support her son with our help, in about a year or so she got her own apartment and learned to live on her own cause her baby's dad didnt helper her at all...May she rest in Peace, i miss her

Answer 5

i feel for you; im 18 and due in 4 weeks. i just want to let you know, her life ISNT over, she can still do whatever she had planned in life and achieve her goals, it IS possible, it just may be postponed for a while.

Im currently studying at University to become a teacher and i live with my lovely boyfriend of two years who owns a business and our house.

I want to let you know that during your daughters pregnancy, you will probably be the most important person to her. my mother and i were never really close, but now she is probably my best friend, she helps me out so much..

just be there to support your daughter and it will all work out,

-good luck!!!

Answer 6

i got pregnant when i was 18....now im 19 and 35 weeks. uhhm....i live with my mom also, this has really straightened me out though....i was on a very bad path so its like an unplanned blessing. as the weeks go on your daughter will probably adapt more and become more mature, you should have her get a job so she can realize just how much money it costs to have a baby (im realizing that now that its getting down to the wire and i need everying, even though i have most of the stuff). i think everything will be okay if she has a good support system to help her out. basically you gotta go through it together...but DO NOT raise and take care of that baby for her....honestly if you do everything for her she'll just think its a free ride.

Answer 7

Just help her out and continue supporting her.

Keep showing her love and help her get the hang of things while slowly helping her get out on her own. Help her get a job, a car, etc. Then help her look for an apartment. I'm sure things will work out. Your in my prayers.

Answer 8

That is great that you all have decided to keep the baby! Its very important to be very supportive...What you can ask your daughter to do is get a part time job to start saving money for the baby and start getting everything ready.

Answer 9

i was 17 when i got pregnant i am now 18 and due at anytime actually. for me when i found out i was pregnant it was a huge wake up call. i did a complete 180 i dont think my parents thought i would do to well either but you mature a lot when the baby starts moving and you know its there and it depends on you. if the boyfriend leaves then he leaves hope he doesn't trip on the way out. im all my baby boy is going to have and thats all he needs. you do what you have to for your children as im sure you know....and sometimes that is doin it by yourself but you grown and learn from it. trust that she will do what she has to...but also remind her that it is her baby not yours. that as a grandparent you will do what you can. but she is the mother first and foremost.

Answer 10

I couldn't put it any better than any of the women who answered before me.

Answer 11

I was 14 when I had my son.. I'm 18 now. IF you want to pls IM me at  one of the following and I can try and help you or even just talk to you about some hard things. My mom was not one bit supportive of any of this and we have never had a good relationship. I can tell you some things that may or may not help. Just IM any time. :D

[e-mail]

or

[e-mail]

Answer 12

i grew up in a county in texas that had the highest teenage pregnancy rate.  thankfully, i was not a statistic.  =)

from what i saw, if you don't want to have another child-i get your point- then treat the your daughter as if she is the mother.  some gramma's out there hover over their daughter and take over coddling the grandchild to the point of raising their grandchildren.  don't allow her to let you take over and don't allow yourself to get taken for granted.  treat the situation as if you weren't there.  she may want to go out to a party, but you know what, if the baby didn't have a gramma could she go out to the party?  no.  don't babysit the child unless she pays you, occasionally.  don't allow your daughter to let you take over.  be a gramma, but don't be the caretaker.

i can't stand the young mothers out there that go out and party and are club-rats that have children.  it's a discrace to my generation and it's only getting worse.

good luck to you.  i hope you are blessed with healthy, happy granchildren.

Answer 13

I am 19 and having my second child. When I was pregnant with my first child, I was 16, and despite why my parents think, it was NOT an accident. My boyfriend told me he wanted to have children with me, and I suppose I was quite vulnerable at the time. My parents were not happy with all at first, but they stood by me and I spent my pregnancy worrying about the labor and vomiting the while time. I was not going to school at the time as I had a lot of problems with depression and social anxiety (though this changed after the birth). There are many difficult things that a girl will face while being pregnant as a teenager, such as facing other people's judgments and having to give up most of your time and life for the child... as well as the many changes that happen to your body, and your daughter may be warned that it will probably NEVER look the same again (TIP:make sure she uses a cream for stretch marks!) Money was also a small issue, since I had to buy a cot and a pram, but luckily my sister gave me some of her son's clothes, so that helped me out a little. I was lucky enough to have an easy labor, and my son has been quite healthy (except for food allergies). I tried to breast feed him for the first 9 months, before I finally had to stop, and although had an effect on the appearance of my b*****s, it helped a lot money-wise, so I suggest your daughter should consider this option seriously. After being (reasonably) supportive during my pregnancy, my boyfriend broke up with me and very rarely comes to visit our son anymore. Remember that this sort of thing can happen at any time, despite what the boyfriend is like, so make sure your daughter does not depend on him too much - although if he does want to hang around, that is really fantastic and definitely do not try to push him away unless he is a bad influence. Do not be scared of how your daughter will handle it emotionally - any pregnancy is a roller coaster of emotions and it would not be easy, no matter what age she was. Once my son was born, I found that I quickly became a lot more mature. Before he was born I was stuck in an "emo" stage and was depressed all the time, but after having my son my life feels like it has meaning and has given me some responsibility for my actions. I have since returned to my education and I am not seemingly going somewhere in life. I'm sure your daughter will feel this too! She may not seem mature enough now, but you will be surprised of the impact that a baby can have on a young girl's life. Most girls have natural parenting instincts when they are given a baby to care for. It will be difficult for her at first, but she WILL most likely be able to deal with it, with a little support from you and the rest of the family. I doubt that she will ever look back once the baby is here! It is an amazing, unexpected joy that can match no other, and no matter what happens, you will ALL love the new member of your family as it grows up. Good luck with everything, and I hope this helps you out. Don't worry. :)

Answer 14

You sound like you have brought her up right so I wouldn't stress about her dumping the baby onto you (unless shes into drugs or something - which I hope not) I had my first son at 17 and I have done quite well. He's now 7 in a few weeks and is a thoughtful, sweet, intelligent, caring little boy. If the boyfriend doesn't stick around - so what? He still has to be there. He still has to pay child support and take the child at least on the weekends. Just be there for your daughter. Help her out but at the same time make it very clear to her that this is her baby so she must raise it - not you. If she needs a break, for example baby has been crying for an hour, take bubba off her hands to give her a bit of time out and de-stress.

That's how my parents treated me and I personally think it is the best way. She will learn and do the right thing