Any "Kids Say the Darnedest Things" moments?

Question

When I was teaching Pre-K, little Tony (4) was so proud that he found out he was in mommy's tummy that he was telling everyone.

When a kid from another class, (maybe 3-4) overheard, he yelled, "She ATE you!?" Both of them were dumbfounded and totally confused.

Now when I hear kids say that they were in mom's belly I ask, "how did you get out!?" (I know it's mean). I just love to see them contemplate that one.

Anyone else have one?

Answer 1

I took my children to the playground and my four year old son had to pee. I told him okay lets go to the restroom he says " I don't want to rest mom I just want to pee!"

Answer 2

I have an embarrassing one! My son pronounces "directions" like "erections"! When we are out in public and he sees directions on something he yells out "Look Mom, there are many erections there!" Haha! Then I have to go "Yes, there are many DI-rections there". So embarrassing!

Answer 3

My daughter is 2 and my husband is an avid golfer he golfs every Sunday. He comes home quite sweaty some times so when people ask her were daddy is she says he is playing stinky golf.

She also calles the bakery the gaykery and the bakery that we go to is run by 2 g*y friends of mine so that is a little embarising.

Answer 4

My  4 year old daughter was talking about what we could do if our van broke down, and she said "we could be streetwalkers!"

Answer 5

My Mother swears A WHOLE lot and one day she was on the phone yelling at my sister really loudly and she kept saying "f this" and "f that".  The phone is in the kitchen and my 21 month old daughter heard her and she was eating her chicken nuggets.  She picked up one of her nuggets and said, "F***ing nuggie!" and ate it.  I don't know if that's really funny but my sister and I laughed so hard when she said it that my Mom thought we were laughing at her and hung up.

Answer 6

my 3 year old nephew walked around the house for about 20 minutes asking for alligator juice and none of us could figure out what he was talking about until we said show us what you want and he pointed to gatorade we all laughed so hard

this one is kind of bad but soo funny when my grandmother was younger she had a day care at her house and one of the little boys she watched mom and dad were going through a divorce well one day the mom dropped the little boy off and less then an hour later the dad came and knocked on the door and asked if he could talk to his son so my grandma said sure and he took his son in the back room well they come out like 15 minutes later and the dad says alright its your last chance are you sure you dont want that snow ball or a dollar and the little boy said no thank you and the dad left then he looked up at my grandma and said ms lee if i tell you who my mom slept with last night will you give me a snow ball and a dollar haha my grandma just looked at him and said teddy thats your moms business

Answer 7

My son went thru a fascination with horses, he really liked farm animals and would ask alot of questions. He asked about a cow's udder, and I explained to him that they were called "teats", T-E-A-T-S. Several months later, we were at my husbands boss's house for an outdoor barbecue. He had several cows in a pasture behind his house. On seeing a particularly big mother cow, my son exclaimed, "Wow !!! Look how big her **** are!!!!!" ( T-I-T-S) *Sigh* They are teats. My husband's boss, his wife and all my husbands co-workers thought it was hilarious.When he was three, I got pulled over for speeding and he told the cop that "this happens to my mom all the time, cops stop her alot because she drives SOOOOOOOO fast!!!". ARRRRGH!! He is constantly saying something off the wall. At his Pre K graduation this past May, all the kids had to go to the microphone and say a little rehearsed rhyme, tell their names and one little girl got to the microphone on her turn and went, "Teacher, I just really need to pee."

Answer 8

my daughter calls crafts c**p which our friends get a kick out of

when caiti (3) went to the bathroom the other day she forgot to wipe and said "mommy my butt stinking like martin's" (my live in nurse)

Answer 9

here are some from my son

-he used to say frog like fu**

-Just a few months ago he used to always say it's my pleasure, then his dad was working with tools one day and he wanted to get his toy tools out so he told his dad to "wait I have to go get my pleasure tools"

-I just had a baby a few weeks ago and my son asked why I still had a baby in my tummy when our baby was already home.

Answer 10

Now these are a few out of my four year old (also just had another son in March)...

When I was walking around the house with no clothes on he said "mommy I see your mustache".

When I was pregnant and we were showering together- he closed one eye and took the other eye and looked into my belly button and said "I can't see the baby".  It was so cute!

Then when I was breastfeeding he said "mommy whys the baby eatin your boobie".

I love it!  Kids are soooo funny!

Answer 11

not yet but im so exited and ready to have one! my son is 8 months old

Answer 12

My uncle's name is Uncle Lex.

We were in the car, my aunt's family and mine, and my little 6 year old cousin says.

"Lex...take the L off and put an S!!!!"

We were all howling. we didnt expect him to say that!!

Answer 13

my 2 year old daughter loves to see the police and firefighters in our neighborhood.  Especially when we see the Fire Trucks (which she pronounces both words with F's) People turn to look at her because she gets so excited and screams it out.

Another is that My husband leaves his Men's Health in the Bathroom and she tells everyone there are HOT BOYS in our Bathroom!

Answer 14

KIDS ARE SO FREAKIN CUTE!!!

Once when my daughter was three ... i was driving and i was sitting at a red light and all of a sudden i heard my daughter yell out:  "get out of my mommie's a**"  well i turned around to see why she was yelling this and she was yelling it at the car sitting behind me... she learned this (totally my fault) because everytime someone would ride up on me while driving i would hollar "GET OFF OF MY A**) so of course my daughter picked it up and like one person answered above, my daughter at 4 asked my cousin, who was breastfeeding her baby, why the baby was eating her booby lol