Any suggestions for a defiant 8 year old girl?

Question

I have an 8 year old girl who does not follow rules, does not mind, makes messes like a two year old(i.e.- using up all the shampoo and conditioner if it is left out, making messes in the floor, etc.), will not clean up after herself when told to, will not do chores when told to do so. When she is left with a babysitter, she does not mind. Spanking does not work. Taking things away does not work. Grounding hasn't worked. Praising for good things that she does doesn't work either. She sasses EVERYONE. It doesn't matter who it is. The child speaks her mind and doesn't care how it comes out to other people. She is persistent when she wants something even after being told no. I am at my wits end. Can someone PLEASE tell me what to do with this unruly child?

Answer 1

Have her tested for food allergies.  There has been a lot of research that a food allergy can cause behavioral problems. Common culprits are artificial colors, flavors, or preservatives.  It could be refined sugar, eggs, wheat or something else.

Don't stop trying, make a plan to discipline for each and every bad behavior. Stick to it, no madder how tired you are.  At the same time give her lots of love and praise when she is not misbehaving. Maybe she just needs a lot of attention, and misbehaving is how she gets it. Always be consistent, and don't give up.

Answer 2

get tougher on her. She is 8. she will only get harder to handle as she gets older.

Answer 3

Spank her again, maybe a little harder. And you need to make  clear to her what she is being punished for and that she will be getting a harder spanking the next time she misbehaves. Then make it impressive - she needs to have a very red bottom when you're done. If that doesn't help, take her to a psychologist.

Good Luck!

Answer 4

Take everything away.  Then as she starts acting better reward her with one thing at a time.  If she backslides take it back.  You are being manipulated.  You have to stay calm and be smart.

Answer 5

have her tested for ADHD. Truely....then get her into some sports. I have had the same issue and she is 14 now. Meds didn't work for her but every child is different. We chose sports as her way out....and then when she gets home she is pooped....lol...As far as taking things away, give her choices. But I sympathize with you. Look into the locak recreation department for softball which is starting now, basketball in the fall, soccer as well. taking things away all the time gets real old. Spanking just shows her physical agression and tells her that hitting is the way to deal with issues and anger.

Good Luck

Answer 6

Yep, I think I can help but this advice isn't easy.

You will need to be consistent.

When you give her a chore to do (for the time being) stay right alongside her and make sure that she follows through and finishes.

Don't yell. Stay cool. Don't rush her. Even if it's a small task and she's moving like a turtle.

When she finishes give her praise.

You MUST do this every time.

She's 8. If she sasses you she needs to spend a short time sitting in a time out chair. You must let her know that it's disrespectful and you won't tolerate it.

Start a little chart with stars. For every good deed she gets a star 10 stars can earn a small prize.

This all takes patience and consistency.

Good luck.

Answer 7

think about where she learned how to act like this?

it might be that she is trying to act like characters from TV shows or movies. A lot of kids are developing big personalities these days because they get more attention when they make everything a big deal.

i think that at some stage all children are like this. Deal with it the best you can, and continue talking to her, especially giving her attention.

It seems that one of the things your going to have to do is hold out the vest you can and know that one day some of these behaviors will turn into positive things. she's persistent and speaks her mind, just teach her how to control these behaviors so they help her get what she wants rather then just be annoying.

Answer 8

either she has a disorder (ADHD, etc.) or you're not being tough enough on her.  Make a decision on how you will discipline and follow through even if it means she cries for hours on end to get her way.  Do not give in