Any suggestions for an amusing letter of resignation?

Question

Bugaboo - I am a twenty-something commercial lawyer. Will resign to be a self employed property developer, which I have been doing in my spare time (!) for the last two or three years

Answer 1

Dear Sir/Madam,

Please accept this letter as my intent to resign from my position in X weeks time.

This is due to my recently contracting uncontrollable fits of fffffffgggggggggggggggggggasfgasgggggggg...

Yours respectfully.

Joe Bloggz

Answer 2

I'm off to join the cirus so i can work with some real clowns

or

I'm joining a rodeo in Texas so I can work with some proper cowboys

Answer 3

What job are you resigning from. Give us some material to work with. I'll come back to this..

Answer 4

Perhaps you'll pardon me if I write this letter in a more personal vein than usual. I want to tell you about some personal perceptions of mine, primarily because XXXXXXX is determined to put as little thought as possible into solving the undeniable problems that our society is still facing with regard to alarmism. Without going into all the gory details, let's just say that XXXXXXX is willing to promote truth and justice when it's convenient. But when it threatens its creature comforts, XXXXXXX throws principle to the wind. XXXXXXX is secretly planning to create massive civil unrest. I realize that that may sound rather conspiratorial and farfetched to most people, which is why you need to understand that XXXXXXX uses the word "phytopaleontological" without ever having taken the time to look it up in the dictionary. Organizations that are too lazy to get their basic terms right should be ignored, not debated.

XXXXXXX is extraordinarily brazen. We've all known that for a long time. However, its willingness to mock, ridicule, deprecate, and objurgate people for their religious beliefs sets a new record for brazenness.

Now, I don't want to overwork the story about how XXXXXXX plans to require schoolchildren to be taught that snarky crackpots are all inherently good, sensitive, creative, and inoffensive, so let's just say that its occasional demonstrations of benevolence are not genuine. Nor are XXXXXXX's promises. In fact, its method (or school, or ideology -- it is hard to know exactly what to call it) goes by the name of "XXXXXXX-ism". It is a rambunctious and avowedly audacious philosophy that aims to create a regime of baleful gangsterism. I hope I haven't bored you by writing an entire letter about XXXXXXX. Still, this letter was the best way to explain to you that I am one of XXXXXXX's victims.

Answer 5

It's not me, it's you.

Answer 6

I am very pleased to inform you that this position is surplus to my future requirements and I therefore suggest that you should find someone more suitable who needs the post as I no longer do.

Answer 7

cya!

Answer 8

Dear Sir,

I have worked so hard for you that I believe it is time for me to say farewell so that others can continue the good work.

Do not be upset that I am leaving but instead take this as a lessons learned experience for other workers.

I wish the company well.

Sincerely,