Any suggestions for my 8-year-old's behavior??

Question

He is an extremely picky eater and whenever we make him "try" two bites of everything, he tries to make himself throw up. It's discusting and now his 4 year old sister is copying him. The bite of food will barely pass his lips and he starts gagging to the point where he will actually throw up. It's a complete act and a learned behavior and is driving me crazy!! It's nothing nasty he's eating - corn, potoatos, etc. The other thing he does is when grandparents, etc come to our home, he ignores him. They'll say "Hi!" to him and he'll just kinda slink out of the room. We usually say, "Come back and say hello" and he'll do this monotone, "hi." then go back out of the room. He's my stepson and I've never had an 8 year old before - is this normal?? His mom says he does the same food thing for her too.

Answer 1

Make him eat alone. He is doing it for attention, if he has to eat alone because he doesn't know how to behave he will stop. Simply call him before/after every one has finished put the plate at his end call him to the table and leave the room. If he doesn't eat he will starve. But no one will be there to see his faces, or hear his complaints, and for him thats no fun.

As for the grandparent's, kids some times get like that, try having a movie night with them, pop popcorn and watch one of his favorite movies. He may not talk to them, but at least he will stay in the same room. Also he needs some kind of punishment for acting like that. I would say time out. He is old enough to know that is rude and he is doing it to be rude/mean. Let him know he doesn't have to stick around but a nice hello and excuse me is all you want.

Answer 2

First and foremost I do not believe in forcing a child to eat anything that they do not like or want to eat. There are several foods that you can offer your child to eat and get positive results from instead of having negative dinners night after night. This, after a while, will wear on a child and you too. Ask him what he would like for dinner! Make one night of the week his special dinner night and one his sister's special dinner night. Then you can have yours...see if they will try new things...if not...OK...never force the issue and always be ready to make a pb&j in a pinch! He, one day, will like the foods that you are placing in front of him but until that time...change the menu!!! Out with the negative and in with the positive. If only just for him and his sister and let everyone else at the table eat your potatos and corn. Now...what happens at the dinner table is your fault but bad manners is NEVER acceptable. That is the battle that you should be fighting instead of making him take two bites of something that, you know without a doubt, is going to make the poor child miserable. Who knows, a better, positive, nightly, family dinner without attacks and threats about bites of food might make him happier, more secure, feel worthy and an important part of the family and he may display better manners when company comes-a-knocking and it might even be on his own accord! Worth a try! Hide and watch!!!

Answer 3

forcing a kid to eat makes an eatting disorder ..let him at least control his diet...He sounds like he doesnt like it there ..either you or the forced mingling with relatives ..let him be a kid ..he isnt on display

Answer 4

Serve him whatever everyone is having, if he gags excuse him from the table bot do NOT allow him to have anything else.  You are going to have to get used to the fact that ALL children have different personallities and that he is not a social butterfly.  I have three children.  The oldest one has always been "life of the party", she is bubbly she is fun, she is outgoing.  My middle daughter is socialable but quieter and will hang with only one or two persons at a gathering or next to me.  My youngest is the "anti social" one, she usually will retreat to her room after mumbling her hellos.  Is it "normal"?  It is for HER and your stepson's behavior is normal for him.

Answer 5

I am the single mother of an 8-year-old who put the "icky" into picky!  It is virtually impossible to get him to eat a varied diet, and as an acupuncture student, I'm aware of how important this is.

What really works with him is by regularly (every month or so) making a new list of whatever fruits and vegetables, proteins and grains he likes, and then I usually give him the choice while I plan the weekly meals.  Some weeks, he only eats broccoli, carrots, mangoes and apples.  But I always have a few meals where I can smuggle things he usually doesn't eat, like pasta sauce with purred vegetables, or beef stew with beans.

I think if you can find a positive spin on the eating and find a starting point where you can praise, then he'll be more likely to comply with the rules.

About the grandparent ignoring, have you asked him why he doesn't want to say high when they are not around?  Maybe there is something, a grievance or so, that makes him not want to say hi?

There is a wonderful book out called "How to talk so your kids will listen, and how to listen so your kids will talk", it is a great help in communicating effectively with children, it has worked wonders with my son.

Answer 6

Well this is a touchy subject. I have to COMPLETELY disaggree with the beachbabe girl....Giving a child anything he wants just to keep him quiet is NOT a solution! That is just beyond spoiling a child. I remember when I was a teen. I babysat for a neighbor who treated her kids like that. They wanted pb and J sandwhiches for lunch so I went in the kitchen and made them, and cut them in half. Well the kids both threw a fit because they were cut diagnally not accross. They absolutely refused to eat the food because it was "cut" wrong. How can people continue to spoil their kids to that point? It was rediculous! I told them that I would not waste food and I refused to remake the sanwhiches. Later I told their mother what I had done and she simply told me to cut it the way they want it or they wouldnt eat it. I never babysat for her agian. I could not go agianst what she wanted, it was her choice to raise her children that way, but I would not bend over backwards and let her kids get away with something so rediculous.

As for me, what I do when they don't want to eat is tell them eat it or go without. The child will not starve him/herself. If anything, tell them to eat it or go without and leave the room. He may be too stubborn to eat it, but im sure that if you leave the room he will eat some. He is challenging you, as long as you are in the room, he will stand firm to get his way.

Tell him to eat or go without, and if he starts doing his gagging act, tell him that you will not deal with that behavior and send him to his room to eat.

I hope this helps you out. Whatever you decide to do, don't be one of those crazy people who let their kids get away with everything and run the house. Children need structure and guidlines. If you let him get away with this behavior and give him whatever he wants....What will he be acting out about next to get his way?

Answer 7

serve him what you are eating....if he 'gags'warn him....if he does it again, send him to his room...or to a time out area....he will eat....he is just being allowed not to eat those things....or he is being allowed to be picky....he isn't going to starve. The other is pretty normal....I would tell him before hand what you expect in his behavior/socilization...so that he knows the consequences of being rude to family. Then, when they leave....make sure to follow the consequences if he has been rude.

Answer 8

Do the:eat what I give you or not eat at all.

Answer 9

sounds normal....put your foot down and be the parent,,,he is training you to get what he wants.....when dinner comes,,,give him a plate,,and tell him that is what is for dinner,,,and if he doesnt eat it now,,,he can eat it later when he is hungry.  my twins went thru the phase of "im full" and then an hour later be in the snack drawers.  we then left the plate of food on the table and that was what they had to eat if they got hungry.  he is in a power struggle with you now.  do not give in,,,trust me later it will come to bite you as he knows after awhile he WILL get his way.  as for the little one copying him,,,tell him if he continues to do this he will eat alone in the kitchen.

Answer 10

You have to get him excited about food.

Bring heaalthy stufff that looks good and yummy,

like strawberry yogurt, or healthy mini pizzas or stuff like that.

Also tell him that if he eats all the meals he''ll be rewarded a night a good resteraunt every week or 2 weeks or a huge icecream sundae stuff like that.

Something that i know works is the friend method.

My niece is soooo picky, she hates everything. So i told her to bring a friend over for dinner.

The friend wasnt picky at all and ate everything, while my niece was making gagging sounds, and finally left.

Her friend kept saying how good the food was, and everyone was being nice to her and ignoring my niece.

Finally my niece came to see why we were having so much fun and sat down on the table and actually started eating!!!!

It really works

If that doesnt work you should use the influence of the TV.

Kids copy everything on the television, if they see their best cartoon character eating corn theyll want to eat it too!!