Any suggestions how to deal with BIL?

Question

Ok so I live about 3 hours from my in-laws. My husband and I have a 5 year old son. My son loves his uncle ( my brother-in-law) because he's loud and goofy, but honestly he disturbs me. My husband doesn't even care for him that much and that's his own brother. Anyways when we go visit we stay at my husband's parents house and his brother always comes to visit, but now the last few times we have gone down there my brother-in-law keeps asking my son if he wants to go to his house. I haven't had to say no yet because usually somebody else says oh we will go tomorrow or something. I'm just getting to the point where I don't want to go visit anymore because I don't want to deal with BIL asking my son if he wants to go to his house because I know I'm just going to have to be mean eventually and flat out say no. What do you think? Any better ways to deal with this situation? My son just gets so excited when he thinks he's gonna get to go to his uncles and I know if all I say is no and don't give a reason everyone will think I'm irrational. I don't know what do you think???

Answer 1

ur so mean this man hasnt done anything to u

Answer 2

Is there a justified reason that you don't want your son to go over to your BIL house? Has he done something to harm your son either physically/emotionally? If not, you may need to explain to your son that you are NOT comfortable with him goving over there at this time and that he will need to wait until he is older. End of discussion. Tell your BIL that you are not comfortable with his taking your son out of your sight and he will just need to wait until you are ready.

Answer 3

You say he's disturbing to you, but other than being goofy and loud I don't see where you pinpointed why he disturbs you. Has he done anything to your son to make you feel uncomfortable? It sounds like you just have a weird feeling about him, which shouldn't necessarily be ignored but it doesn't mean the BIL is doing anything wrong either.

I think you should watch your BIL carefully, observe him while he's playing with your son and watch for any behavior that seems inappropriate. It's also very important to talk to your son about what's appropriate and what's not.

If everything seems OK and you STILL feel funny about it, he's your kid and you have a right to say no, but just try to make sure this isn't a personal problem with the uncle that YOU have.