Any thoughts on having three kids?

Question

I currently have two beautiful little boys, ages 6 and 2. I had difficult pregnancies and deliveries with both of them. I've already seen my OB to discuss the risks and they said that I have a 10% chance of things going quite wrong.

My husband is in the military and is going to be gaining rank in March so we'll have the extra money to support a family of 5 but I'm just worried about the effects of a third child on my second son. He is so shy and cuddly I don't want him to suffer the "middle child syndrome" but we just don't feel like our family is complete.

Anyone out there with three kids or one of three kids please give me your feedback/advice on three kid families.

Thanks!

Answer 1

I had two and wished I had three.  They seemed to always blame each other for things and a third child would have made a good informant.

Answer 2

Hi,I can only tell you how i feel as a middle child.I have an older brother & sister they paired up then there's a younger sister & brother.

I have never got on with them.I am now 57 & have nothing to do with them.I feel like an outsider & am treated like one.Maybe it's me.

Answer 3

i definately don't like odd numbers, someone always feels left out. if you're going to have 3, you might as well go for four.

good luck.

Answer 4

I have 3 kids and are discussing #4. I have 2 girls and one boy, my poor son is stuck in the middle. The worst thing about having three is someone always gets left out when the kids pair off to play. The girls have a six year age difference which makes it tough for them to play together and my son isn't really game on playing Barbies. We are going for #4 for two reasons, 1) I love big families and 2) each kid will have someone to pair off with and the third wheel won't be left out anymore.

Answer 5

I grew up with a sister and a brother....I am the oldest.  My thoughts are the following.

Although it was nice to have both a sister and a brother, my brother only had 2 sisters.  So it would have been nice to have 2 of each so eeryone knew what it was like to have both.

Another downfall to having 3 kids is the ganging up 2 on 1.  It sucked when you were the one.  And again, having an even number would help this problem as well.

I love kids, and I wish you all the luck in the world.  Although we fought lots when we were kids, we love eachother very much now that we are all in our 20's.

Answer 6

Dear Friend,

My wife and I are expecting our first child. So my advice is from someone who doesn't have one kid yet. To be honest I only wanted to have one kid but my wife is insisting on having at least two. I'm open to the idea but we're still negotiating.

My opinion is that people should have as many kids as they want to, as long as both members of the couple agree, finances are expected to be at least OK, and time won't be scarce to take care of them all. But to be honest, the more children, the more challenging it is to raise them nowadays. That's a fact of life in modern society anywhere in the world and more so in the big cities.

I would strongly recommend you meditate on why you feel your family is incomplete. Is 3 or 5 the number that makes things whole? Yes/No? Why? Look inside of yourself and try to figure out those feelings.

Now, while no pregnancy is free of risks, your doctors seem to suggest your chances may be somehow greater than average. The two kids you have need you, so make sure the risk is manageable or can be lowered.

Regardless of how many kids you decide to have, make sure you love them all with all of your heart and soul, and that both you and your husband will be able to dedicated them the time the need. Unless people are really ingenious, a growing number of kids could mean less time for each and all of them.

If you can be able to figure things out and decide to have a third one, don't worry too much about the "middle child" syndrome. Since you already know a bit about it, you can prevent it. As simple as that.

Well, dear friend, those are my thoughts.

May God bless you in your decision and continue helping you in being the best mother you can be and that your children deserve.

Again, May the Force Be With You.

Answer 7

I want my kids to know what it's like to have a brother and sister, so thats why i'm going to have 3 kids. I dont worry about the whole middle child syndrome because they always eventually grow out of it, and its easily helped by making an effort to ensure the "middle child" gets extra attention so as not to feel left out. But yeah, I think its a great idea to have 3 kids. If you have that feeling that your family isnt complete, then it seems almost as though there is something missing! I think you should go for it!  

Answer 8

i am a middle child myself, i have older and younger sisters and i love it.

I am also my dads favourite, so theres no middle child syndrome here! lol

If i were you i'd be more weary of the effects of a third pregnancy could have on your health.

Good Luck

I'd just like to add, that now we are all older the three of us do a lot of girlie things with our mum, so we are a foursome a lot of the time so no one is left out.

Answer 9

Hi!

I have 3 kids:  boy 4yr 3months, boy 3yrs and 2 weeks and a baby girl who is about 10 weeks old.

I really wanted a 3rd and wasn't sure how #2 would react either.  very much a cuddler, doesn't like change all that much, etc...well they both have just been fabulous.

before she was born I let them dress up stuffed animals in some of her clothes and they came to ultrasounds, painted my belly, etc.  

they just love their little sister to pieces.  

I wouldn't worry too much about the middle child thing, I mean it's all in how you handle it and as long as you give them all attention it should be fine.

good luck!

Sophie

Answer 10

don't worry about the young one but think------- if u have bad precnancy and the risk of things going wrong is high [[[ would u really want to risk giving birth to a abnornal child]]]

Answer 11

I have 3 girls, 6yr, 4yr and 5mnths.

My middle daughter was difficult to say the least and our 3rd baby was not planned (long story!!)

I was worried how she would cope and how I would cope if the baby was anything like she was/is.

Our oldest is easy going and complete opposite to the middle child, lucky for us the baby is an angel and i could not ask for a better child. when i told this to my nan she said it was because we are now better parents and have introduced the baby to our daily routine instead of the baby deciding how our day pans out.

Our middle daughter caught septicemia at 2 weeks & was really very unwell, i thought i would lose her at one point so i have always been easy going on her & caused a rod for my own back.

When our baby was 10weeks old I went into renal failure & had to be admitted to hospital for a few weeks with an external tube n bag & lots of operations, luckily i am well again and our middle daughter has shown strength, courage and kindness to us all.

So as much as she has been through, although she is still quite difficult to handle we feel our family is complete and 5mnths on I wouldn't change our situation. I love having 3 children and everything we have been through is worth it if you feel it is the right thing to do.

Good luck.

Answer 12

I am a mother of 3 boys.  They're all still young so we don't have the middle child syndrome yet.  But my cousin was the middle and she didn't have any problems and My one friend is the middle and she had very few problems.  As long as you make time for all three of your children it shouldn't be too big of a problem.