Any tips, suggestions? do you like it?

Question

Come on, lets run from this over-rated town. For none of them in that desolated town believe in miracles. For none of them have hope for love. We don't need any of them, all we need is eachother. Our shadows are our only evidence of our escape, and they'll only last as long as the excistence we had there. Take my hand, and don't let go. Don't look back, that was our past, and our future is straight ahead. Our breathe lies thin, yet our love will stay strong. Our dreams are contained within the stars, for the highest reached ones are where we belong. Follow the stars, and we'll be home in no time

Answer 1

So now I find another of your questions which has remained unanswered so far. As i just told you , you have the stuff in you ; you write beautiful prose-poetry. What you have written will go very well  as piece and part of a romantic drama. Since you have put it in the forum of poetry, I believe you want it accepted as a poem. To start with, start writing the same thing but each phrase make it into a different line. Later change while revising the last word of each line so that the rhyme scheme also is justified and a certain music comes into your love. This will not only heighten and deepen you emotions , as any poetry is  supposed to do, but will bring in the melody and the harmony in your emotions, packed in quest of love !

From this over-trated town let us all run,

For this is a desolate and dead town,

Where none believes in miracles and fun,

For none have hope for love and frown,

Rest to be completed by dearest Sarah J. !