Any tips for keeping people AWAY after coming home with a baby??

Question

I just got home with my brand new baby girl (born 8/8/08 8lbs 7oz) on Tuesday. So far in the last 48 hours I have had a visitor every 30 minutes. My neighbors have stopped by, my in laws, friends, a coworker, my husbands coworkers..... It is all a total blur. I am exhausted, sore (c sections hurt) and borderline RABID due to the added stress of my place turning into grand central station. My 3 year old is still adapting to not being the baby of the house and his new role. The dog is adapting, the cats are wigged out....it is a madhouse!!!! And every time I blink, there is a new face at my door. These people are not even calling ahead, just popping by.... I put a sign on the door saying "Mommy and Baby are Sleeping" is has been useless. Any polite approaches to getting people to

A. Call First

B. Give us space to adapt, rest and heal from childbirth

C. Not overstay their already limited welcome if they do come by

I seriously need advice, or I will blow up at someone. Thanks in advance

Answer 1

Yes, keep the sign on the door, and then leave a pencil/pen and let them leave you a note, that way you can contact them later.  

Mommy & Baby are sleeping, please don't disturb.  

Answer 2

what's wrong with people - have they no manners?  I would be very upfront - your tired - healing and have many adjustments to make at home.  you also should be mindful of germs.  i would have your husband answer the door and turn them away, nicely.  people are so inconsiderate!

Answer 3

my BFF called me the minute after her daughter was born and wanted me to come and be with her. When I got there, it looked like the county fair in the waiting room. I know how hard it is after you give birth to be bothered, so I left. She called crying telling me that so many people were there and I didnt show up. I told her the situation. So she just put her foot down. When she got home, she holed up in the bedroom with Kendra, and gave strict orders to her husband, NO ONE IN WITH OUT APPROVAL. She even turned extended family away. Which some didnt take well, but I always call first before going to meet a new mom and baby. I am sure to make the time frame that she states so that I am not late or early and disturb there sleep. If they are sleeping when I get there (which I always ask first) I wait till they are awake or I come back.... some people are just d**n rude and need to be told so in no uncertain terms. Time to stomp your bunny slippers and get that husband to work. When my daughter came, I had gone through a 2 day induction and a epidural so i was so groggy and drooling and so out of it, it seemed that everyone picked the same darn time to come for the visit and bring all there kids... yikes I look like c**p, feel like c**p, and just want to be with my baby. So I was nasty I had the nurses tell people they couldn't come in till a certain time. Then at home I thankfully lived about 45 minutes from everyone so it was easier for me.

Answer 4

Congrats on the new addition to your family :)

Just have your husband or whoever is staying with you thank them and turn them away politely.

All the best

Answer 5

Congrats to ya!  I have had 4 children! The first was the hardest with visitors and such. If you have to put a note on the door saying that you and baby need rest and give you a week or so and please respect this by not visiting until we are rested! do that! Leave that as a message on your voice mail also. DO NOT WORRY ABOUT HURTING PEOPLE"S FEELINGS!!!!! Your tiny girl needs you very rested! Hope that helps!!! Also, if you have a supportive Mom or mate, have them do the dirty work for you and tell people you need rest!

Answer 6

just don't answer the door...they will get the hint they will probley think yall are sleeping...

Answer 7

When my baby was born, I sent out a mass email giving all the details of the baby, plus a photo.  I concluded the message with "We are not yet ready for visitors at this time, but we look forward to introducing you to our special boy in the near future."  For the majority of people, this worked.  A few rude ones ignored the request, but I didn't always answer the door when it rang.  I also started unplugging the phone when the baby was sleeping.  You do what you have to do.  Most people understand.  

Answer 8

try putting a sign on the door that say I would love everyone to meet the new baby but we are all trying to adjust to the big change. and to please call and we will gladly arrange a time for you to visit when mom and baby are ready.

then if people don't still try to visit simply tell them you are not accepting visitors with out calling first.

Answer 9

If you have another adult there like your husband or mother, have them take over crowd control. When someone come unexpectedly, have them say "Well, they are [going to] take/ing a nap right now, but we would like you to come back in a little while." I know how you are feeling. I went through a 61 hour labor ending in a c-section, I was out of it for a while. Some advice: Don't feel like you need to entertain anyone. If you want to rest, rest! Besides, the are coming to see the new baby, so you can wander off by yourself away from everyone else. Good luck!

Answer 10

Have your husband answer the door and let them know that now is not a good time.

Tell them that you are tired and everyone needs a few days to adjust and maybe next week will be better.

Or

Don't answer the door at all. Disconnect your doorbell and keep that note on the door, with an additional, PLEASE CALL FIRST!

Answer 11

Don't answer the door.

Answer 12

1. Have your husband answer the door & politely tell them that you & the baby are sleeping.  And he is trying to spend alone time with your 3-year old.

2. Leave the note on the door and do not answer the bell (can they see in?)

3.  DO NOT offer any food or drink... people should get the point : )

4.  Ask them to do stuff.  Can you fold this laundry?  Oh, can you unload my dish washer!? Thanks so much!  - They'll leave and not come back!!!

I may have another kid just to have people do stuff!! hehehe

Answer 13

you tell them you need to adapt and heal,  simple.

Answer 14

tell them you need to adapt and heal.. you could put that sign on the door... * Mommy and baby are adapting and healing after childbirth, please call next time. Thanks and we appeciate all your support and love.

i like this question.

Answer 15

I say this is the job of the hubby....when he talks to others on the phone, have him tell them when it is a good time to stop by, when someone comes to the door, have him say come back at so and so time, you and the baby are resting and are not up for visits at the moment...its hard, I HAD my in laws staying with us, so that was not fun, they wanted to constanly go places.

Just tell your husband, this is your duty, I can;t do it, I am fustrated,overwhelmed, tired, and I need time to just be with my baby and you by ourselves. I hope it gets better. And put a another sign on the door...."PLEASE DO NOT DISTURB, MOMMY & BABY ARE RESTING, PLEASE COME BACK AT A LATER TIME OR CALL! Dont worry about being rude, childbirth and afterwards is a stressfull but rewarding time.

Congrats...and good luck<3

Answer 16

"Don't answer the door at all. Disconnect your doorbell and keep that note on the door, with an additional, PLEASE CALL FIRST!" Great advice..I would do that & also have hubby call around or something and let people know that you appreciate it but you aren't up for visitors at this time..If that doesn't work-by all means blow up on them..Sometimes you just gotta be blunt about it..

Answer 17

My advice would be to talk to your husband about it.  Tell him you're freaking out and ask him to be your bodyguard for a week or two.  that way, when people drop by, he could greet them, and politely let them know you're not feeling well.  You wont even have to see them!  

  

Answer 18

Put a huge sign on your door that states no visitors without appointments or something like that.

Lie if you have to - tell them the baby needs to get on a schedule, or the doctor said no visitors for 2 weeks, something like that.  

Then if they can't read the sign and still knock, - don't get the door.

Hopefully though - most of the friends/family/people you know have already come over (sounds like it) - that should be the last of them.  Hopefully you won't have too many more....

Answer 19

I think that you should call your family because you can be rude to them and tell them straight up how you feel, they will love you no matter what.

For the friends and neighbors, keep that sign up and if they still try to visit, have your husband (when they knock) tell them that you are not up for visitors right now. If they insist, have him tell them that you will call later, when you are feeling better.

Answer 20

my suggestion is to blow up.  it'll get your point across and you absolutely have the right to do it.  people need to get a clue:o)

Answer 21

Yikes!  I kind of know where you're going with this.  I advise you to tell your family as best you can and your friends to please, do not come over.  I need a break.  Have your husband tell his family not to visit.  It will save a lot of pressure off of you to address them. Your family should understand and keep out of the way.  As far as your friends and neighbors go, send an Email out or a call to someone you know will spread the word and say "Hey, look, I really enjoy the visits and your kind words, but would you mind calling ahead to see if I will be available to having a visit."  This won't be as offensive and I'm sure any reasonable person will understand.  Good luck.

Oh, and if you have a husband who doesn't get the hint, be blunt.  I learned that lesson coming home the day before Thanksgiving and his family just had to be at my house Thanksgiving day after 52 hours of labor and severe natural tearing.

Answer 22

Call the people who haven't come by and let them know that you are very over whelmed and that your kid is new so they don't need everyone and their worldly germs coming into the house. That you will let them know in a couple of days/weeks when everyone is settled. Tell your mom and sister or close relatives how you really feel and see if they can help spread the word.  

Answer 23

just let everyone know that you are not ready for them to come over at this time..  i got really pissed when people would just pop up at my house..  most of my friends and family called first to make sure it was okay and i was fine if they came..  but the ones that just popped up i thought that was rude..  i hope it all works out for you..  congrats on the new baby:)

Answer 24

leave the sign on the door and don't answer the door while the sign is up.  they will get the message.