Anybody else here have a child with a risk taking personality?

Question

I have a 15 year old who likes to flirt with danger. Two years ago he would jump off the roof of the house and land on some mattresses. A couple of friends did this with him. He did this when I was at work but word got back to me on what was going on. Naturally I forbid him to continue this and he did. Honestly, I think he stopped because it was getting "old". That was my gut feeling. I gave him a bunch of chores to do as a consequence but my suspicion is that he still has those risk-taking tendencies.

Here we are 2 years later and I find out that he was at a lake jumping off high cliffs. We're talking 40 feet high cliffs. I haven't decided on a consequence just yet (I just found out tonight) but my husband and I have our own conflict over this issue. He sees him as a kid who is going to put himself in the hospital but I think that he knows where his limits are. He'll flirt with danger but he assesses the situations he puts himself in. That's why he never hets hurt even though jumping off high cliffs into a lake sounds pretty dangerous. I could see him being a stuntman in his future.

Am I out of touch with reality to think that he knows where his limits are even those his behaviors are risky?? Of course I don't tell my son any of this but my husband thinks I'm nuts if I think he knows where his own limits are? What are your thoughts on this?

Answer 1

I think that you are right to not interfere, but the truth is that accidents involving stunts like that happen every day.  All you can do is tell him to be careful though because I doubt that if he's passionate about what he does he's going to stop because you said so.  Good luck.

Answer 2

I think the most important thing to remember is: He is a boy.

Boys crave excitement, thrill and danger. The fun ones, at least.

It's got to be pretty hard for you, as a parent. Maybe have a few drinks before he goes out. Try to clam you down. Just kidding. But maybe you should talk to him. Just tell him to be safe. But from what you're saying, he doesn't seem like a dumb kid. He assesses the situation. That's a very good thing. He seems like he knows when enough is enough. Good luck.

Next birthday present: Helmet and pads.

Answer 3

I think it is tricky and if it was my child I would probably freak out.  I think you probably both (but moreso ur hubby) need to accept that regardless of what punishments you dish out, he is going to find more things to do to keep him entertained. I think your efforts would be better spent discussing saftey precautions with him such as:

never do it alone

let us know where you will be

always have someone with a phone ready to call 911

always check the depth of any water

etcetc

Answer 4

Some people just like the danger types of things. I would suggest getting him involved with things like mountain climbing and other adventure types of activities where it is properly supervised and people are there to show them how to do things properly. I have a friend who has just completed a stunt course, he loved it and it can open up a whole new thing for people doing things that get the Adrenalin pumping and learning how to do it safely at the same time.