Anybody got any good chuck norris quotes?

Question

i have a few

like;

chuck norris doesnt sleep... he waits...

chuck norris once visited the virgin islands... they are now the islands

when life gives chuck norris lemons.. he makes grape juice

if you spell chuck norris in a game of scrabble you win.. FOREVER

haha

i love em

does anybody have anymore?

10 points to the person who makes me laugh the most :D:D

haha, good luck

Answer 1

Any of these:

When Chuck Norris does push-ups, he doesn't push himself up, he pushes the world down.

How much wood would a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could Chuck Norris? All of it.

When the Boogey Man goes to sleep he checks his closet for Chuck Norris.

None of these doing it?  Watch this: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MDUQW8LUM...

Answer 2

Hi. I'm Chuck Norris and I'm here to tell you about BOWFLEX!

Answer 3

Chuck Norris created a boulder that no man could ever possibly move.  Then he moved it.  Because he's Chuck Norris.

There are two kinds of people in this world: people who suck, and

Chuck Norris.

Chuck Norris always has s*x on the first date. Always.

Crop circles are Chuck Norris's way of telling the world that sometimes corn needs to lie the f*** down.

Chuck Norris is not lactose intolerant; he just refuses to put up

with lactose's $hit.

Answer 4

if chuck norris has 5 dollars, and you have 5 dollars, chuck norris has moar money than you.

Answer 5

chuck norris dosent have a chin he only has another fist in there

Answer 6

crop circles are chuck norris's way of telling the world sometimes corn needs to lie the f*ck down.

Chuck Norris eats steak for every single meal. Most times he forgets to kill the cow.

Chuck Norris was once in a knife fight, and the knife lost.

Every time someone uses the word "intense", Chuck Norris always replies "you know what else is intense?" followed by a roundhouse kick to the face.

Chuck Norris once ate four 30lb bowling balls without chewing.

Chuck Norris doesn't chew gum. Chuck Norris chews tin foil.

A man once asked Chuck Norris if his real name is "Charles". Chuck Norris did not respond, he simply stared at him until he exploded.

Answer 7

Chuck Norris is soo fast, he can run around the Earth and punch himself in the back of the head!

Chuck Norris has no pick-up lines, he just says NOW!

Answer 8

chuck norris once threw a roundhouse kick so fast and so hard, his foot went back in time and killed amelia airehart over the alantic ocean.

chuck norris walked down teh street once with a massive erection... there were no survivors.

chuck norris has two speeds: walk. kill

there is no chin under chuck norris' beard only another fist

when kids go to bed they check for the boogie monster under their beds. when the boogie monster goes to bed, he checks for chuck norris under his bed.

chuck norris counted to infinity. twice.