Anybody have a special needs child?

Question

I love my son so much but sometimes I just feel myself getting angry at him for things I know it's not his fault he can't do, but I feel like shouting, why can't you be like all the other kids?! Not that I do but I just get so angry sometimes. I feel like such a failure of a parent, I had the perfect pregnancy and I didn't drink do anything bad during pregnancy I exercised kept fit had a lot of fresh air ate healthy I didn't even chocolate! And it peeves me off when we go to the playground and people ask how old is he? and I say three and you can tell them look at me like oh she doesn't develop him much does he he doesn't look three.

AAAAAAARGH! Just feeling so guilty tonight for being so angry and angry at myself for *not being able to bear proper children* as horrible as that sounds. Looking for like minded people people in similar situations!

Answer 1

My 4 year old has autism spectrum disorder.She didn't talk until 3yrs.old. She is very tall(105th %) so I had alot of parents & children ask what was wrong with her.I always remind myself it's far harder to be a struggling child in a so called perfect world. Feel sorry for them not yourself.Very rarely did the mother do something to cause delays in their child.If you are doing the best you can he's lucky to have you.Stop digging at yourself put all that energy into your child. It does get better.

Answer 2

my 12.5 year old is on the autism spectrum and my almost 3 year old has a speech delay. What bugged me was when people expected him to talk and he could not...I felt like people would think that I did not teach him manners because he could not say simple things like "hi" and "thank you"

Answer 3

I don't have a special needs child. I do however take care of 18 in one home as my job. I love each and every one of them. At times it is hard, but I always remember that they are delayed in some way, shape or form. I get angry sometimes but always realize they have problems too. I can't really help you on the bearing a healthy child part. Its not your fault. God only gives you what you can handle. I personally think a special needs child is a blessing! You may or may not think so, but I certainly do!

Answer 4

I work with children with mild to severe special needs every day and I have to say that you are highly respected to those of us who know where you are coming from. of course you are going to meet people who don't understand and you may have to come up with a phrase or something that gets the message across that he is special and different from what their standards of development is.

and if you sit down with other kids and really get to know them and their parents you will quickly find that there really is not a standard for normal, only what society states is normal.

you are blessed with these experiences and I know you don't feel it right now but remember that when he gets into school it will be parents like you who become a valuable source of comfort and support for these parents of these 'normal' kids.

I love the idea of inclusion and mainstreaming our special needs kids and do you know why this is happening?

because parents like you pushed for it by saying that their child deserved the same kind of education as others.

Answer 5

Yes I think I know what you mean...its almost like you feel guilty b/c a piece of you almost resents your child for not living up to your & everyone elses expectations

when your pregnant you have all these dreams planned for your child & then *poof* as if by some cruel joke they are taken away from you & in it's place is this hard never ending uphill battle  just to get the most basic things accomplished

I know exactly what you mean =( & I sometimes worry myself that if something were wrong with Kate I might feel the same way....

someone told me this: " you cant change what is but you can change your self - does your child need a bitter mom or a good mom? "

I know its easier said sometimes then done but still just try to rememebr that its not your childs fault - or yours

*add* also someone wrote "god only gives you what you can handle"  & while I do belive this Im sure alot of parents to special needs parents would rather wish they were scumbags with a healthy child then a "great person" with a "special needs" child

I could be wrong about that last part...but I think thats how I would feel (as selfish as it may be)

Answer 6

Yanno I could write this big long story about my life and my son and my problems.. but all I can really say is.. "I feel your pain honey and I would have to say atleast once a week I'll think the same as you.."

But we honestly cant change what we have and we all know how much we love our kids and all that matters is we do love them and treat how they should be treated.. Respect and love are earned..

It's not your fault and go eat that chocolate now.. email me if ya need to b**ch some more..