Anygood sayings that are funny or something? please answer. i dont care if they are dumb. 10 points for best.

Question

Anygood sayings that are funny or something? please answer. i dont care if they are dumb. 10 points for best.

Answer 1

http://1001-answers.com/answer5135.html

Answer 2

Life is like a box of chocolates, You take a bite and it sticks to your A$$.

Answer 3

I intend to live forever, or die trying.

There is one way to find out if a man is honest; ask him! If he says yes you know he's crooked.

A black cat crossing your path signifies that the animal is going somewhere.

Answer 4

men are like toilets, either taken or full of it.

also stupid blonde jokes (sorry in advance to you smart blondes)

Do you know how you drown a blonde? Put a mirror in the bottom of a pool.

Do you know how to erase a blondes memory? Blow in his/her ear.

Do you know what they call a smart blonde? A golden retriever  

Answer 5

this is from the movie Coyote Ugly and it's the receptionist talking to violet the main girl....

"Violet: Hi, I'm Violet Sanford, I just recently moved to New York and I was wondering if you would give my tape to one of your artists.

Receptionist: Violet, that is so cute. Now let me tell you about me. My name is Wendy, and I first moved to new York when I was 21 to be a dancer, but I broke my big toe. and then I got knocked up by this actor who dumped me to join the peace corp, so for the last 16 years I've been raising my daughter all by myself and then two weeks ago she tells me that she is a bisexual and she hates me more than any person on this planet. Now, tell me how I can help you please, cos I'm dying to make your dreams come true."

-Coyote Ugly

i hope you think it's funny :)