Anyone Else's House A Disaster? Depression has sucked the energy out of me, help! ?

Question

I am 35 weeks along and I have ZERO energy left. Between that and the fact that me and dh are fighting all the time lately I have no energy to clean. I'm just sick of it. So much for my "nesting" instinct. I'm just too depressed to clean and wonder if anyone else feels this way. To top it off my husbands friend was over last night and went on about what a supermom his wife was "She works and still cooks and cleans the house!" he exclaimed proudly. I felt like such c**p. I feel like I'm a failure already and I haven't even gotten started. Being so down lately I just can't seem to muster the energy to do much of anything. I'm not a lazy person by nature but lately I am REALLY lazy. How can I get my energy back. I think depression is sucking what energy I have left out of me. It doesn't help that I am going through my second pregnancy back to back. I also have a 10 1/2 month old daughter to care for.

Answer 1

Honey you are not a failure first of all....I was in the same boat I had a little boy and 6 months later I was pregnant with #2 and it drained the life out of me after a few months. You've got to think when you get done with this pregnancy your body will have been under a tremendous amount of stress for almost 2 years! You probably need to get out of the house and go for some walks in the park or by a lake, something beautiful and peaceful and something that will lift your spirits. You'll get through it honey just keep on pushing forward! BTW after this baby is born, it gets so much better!

Answer 2

I know how you feel. and you could be totally correct that depression is causing part of your issue. I have struggled with depression for years, and when I am in the depths of an unmedicated depression my house is usually a wreck. Hubby gets on my case about it, but I always tell him "I bet XX has a husband who is not gone 4 evenings a week. And last time I checked she did not have a toddler who destroys her house while she brushes her teeth or pees. If you are going to compare me to someone make it someone who is similar to me". Tell hubby if he wants all that done, he needs to help you. At one point I had a maid service come in every 2 weeks to do a major clean. It happened because I told hubby if he did not want to help around the house he had to pay someone to do his share. It may help if you tell him "I need you to do XX because I cannot do it". Or at least ask him to watch your daughter while you get somethings done.

Answer 3

Girl cheer up :) . You are so close to delivery and just plain worn out - plus I know how hard it is since you are a very active person and just do not have the energy to do anything. You are NOT a failure at all . OMG I just read you have a 10 month old as well - well heck that's work in its self ! You really need to listen to your body .

I've got 8 days left until delivery and my stamina is GONE ! I'm a very active person as well and my head is telling me to go but my body is saying h**l NO .

You are almost there and hang in there - EVERYONE feels this way at the very end .

XXXXX :)

Answer 4

Sweetness, You're not lazy!!!!  Tell the dh to go to h**l!!!  It's just as much his as yours and he should help you out as much as possible{like that's going to happen}  Okay back to reality which sucks anyway,  but do what you need to do for you and the little ones call a friend to come help get the house in order.  Ask Grandma to watch the little one and go take a bubble bath!!!!

Answer 5

  I know what you mean....I don't have another baby to look after but I have a 10 year old that needs a ear ALLLLLLLLL the time. I worked for so many years and now that I'm off, I feel like I don't or can't get enough energy to do anything. What I started doing is setting a timer for a hour or what ever  time is good and cleaned until it went off, I felt alot better about myself and felt like I got a few things done I wanted to. It may not be what you want your house to look like....but at lest something got done. ( That's how I look at)

   Best of luck

Answer 6

First of all.... YOU'RE PREGNANT!!!! Who cares if they think you are lazy! Tell them to strap on 35 lbs and see if they feel like standing at the sink doing the d**n dishes!

I feel just like you... Im such a neat freak and it drives me insane that my house is somewhat messy... Ive been begging the boyfriend to do dishes and things I dont feel like.  Its ok to ask for help.

You should get your rest now anyways... you're 35 weeks... in less then a month you will be running around like crazy! Maybe its your bodys way of saying.... HEY! SLOW DOWN.... I CANT DO THIS!!

I dont think its depression at all... ALL pregnant women feel helpless at somepoint. =/  You just have to get through it... some days are better then others! =)  

Answer 7

Oh you are so close to the end. Just relax and rest. Ask your husband for a little extra help around the house, no need to worry about that now. Your priority is you and your little one. Your house can wait a few more weeks :)

If it really bothers you, call a cleaning service and have them come so you dont feel so bad looking at it!

Hormones can definitely cause feelings of despression. I do suggest letting your doc know at your next appt that you are having feelings of depression just in case it leads to post-partum depression. Most likely you will feel much better once you meet your new little baby.

I was so depressed and sick and exhausted my house went to h**l my first trimester. I thought I would never feel like myself again, but it passed, and I clean again.

Dont let what other 'supermoms' do get to you. You can't compare yourself to other people, especially if they are not pregnant!!

hang in there. only 5 more weeks!!

Answer 8

no biggy when your close to going into labour the nesting will kick in and you'll find yourself baby in one hand mop in the other and if that dosnt work no harm in hiring someone to just come in fr the day and clean things up

Answer 9

Oh, honey.  I'm sorry this is happening to you.  It's really common for us to lose all of our energy in those last few weeks.  I know I've had to drink coffee at work just to function, and I'm 34 weeks and 4 days.  Your DH's friend is a jerk.  She works and cooks and cleans?  What happened to sharing the responsibility around the house?  My man knows he's expected to help out when we both have jobs.

You aren't a failure.  You are pregnant and tired.  Your body is telling you that you need rest and that you are over-stressed.  I've been there.  What helped me is doing just a little at a time.  Pick one thing to do today, like tidy up the living room.  Do it.  Then relax.  Tomorrow, do one other thing.  Believe me, it made me feel better emotionally and I wasn't overdoing it.  I do one load of laundry a day.  That way, it doesn't stack up.  Just pace yourself.

As for fighting with the hubby, I don't know what to tell you on that.  I don't know what you're fighting about for one, and I'm not sure I could help even if I did.  However, I'm a pretty good listener if you need someone to unload on, so feel free to email me if you want to talk about it.