Anyone else's boyfriend/husband react like this at all?

Question

My boyfriend and I will be together 6 years in October. I am 19 weeks pregnant and due January 29th with our first child. In the beginning when everyone found out the news and congratulated him, he couldnt have had a bigger smile on his face, but now everytime I mention something about the baby he doesnt respond. He like completely ignores me and doesnt want to speak of it at all. I made a stupid comment about the type of bottles I want to use and he completely ignored me. He hasnt made it to one of my doctors appointments. He only came for my first ultrasound after I had to keep on reminding him. I told him if he's gonna have this type of attitude then I dont want him at our next one where we find out the s*x and he said ok I dont want to be there anyway. His brother's girlfriend just had their first daughter last night and he was all smiles today but made no comment at all to me about if this made him excited or not for our child! I just feel like I'm in this alone anymore. Anyone else have this problem? What happened in the end? Thanks.

Answer 1

My BF cant be bothered with things like clothes and bottles either.  I bought a ton of clothes for our little girl and he just looked at them with noooo comment when they arrived.  I always told him that he does not get excited over anything that has to do with her.  I think its my hormones though.  Men usually dont get excited over the same things that we do.  He shows he cares in other ways.  I know he is happy, even if he does not express like i do.

Answer 2

I have to agree with most the other answers. I think he is just really stressed and nervous. Mentioning the baby probably just makes him stress so he doesn't want to talk about it cause he hasn't faced his new role yet.I am pretty sure everything will be ok after pregnancy. Just relax and don't worry. If he still acts like this after baby then you have a problem. Maybe he is jealous??Some guys get jealous. Or no offense I don't know cause I'm not there. Is there any chance you are being hormonal and snapping?? That could be another reason he is distant about the baby.

Answer 3

trust me when that baby is here you'll see a whole new him!!! My hubby was the same way as far as not showing his emotion for how he felt towards the whole thing. He did go to the apts with me but never wanted to go back into the room. I guess its a guy thing lol some of them feel weird or uncomfortable when it comes to that stuff. I use to get really depressed about it and cry sometimes (thanks hormones) thinking and feeling the same as you..... like i was all alone in this. I keep in mind what a girlfriend of mine told me once.... all men dont realize that the minute that HPT is positive our lives as a woman change that instant. Where as the men still have the next 40 weeks to still be just as they were. Its not til they actually see that baby that most of them grow up so to speak!!! I sat down and talked to my hubby about how i was feeling....come to find out he felt the same way! Scared, alone, stressed....ect. He said he didnt realize how much i needed him emotionally and that he was stressing over how he was going to take care of us and will he be a good dad....things like that... try talking to your man tell him how you feel....tell him even if its boring or uncomfortable to him that you would still like him to be there for you. Good luck sweety and God bless!!!!

Answer 4

I also have been with my bf for 6 years as of 10/23/08.  My bf was very excited at first, and has went to one dr apt, and one ultrasound, and plans on going to the next, I think he does get a little bored when I'm talking about bottles and all that kind of stuff, but he is interested in seeing what clothes our son will be wearing.  So that is when I try to interact with him the most, he also picked out the crib bedding, I try to find things that he likes to talk about and that helps.  His favorite color is red, so I asked him to pick out the bedding and he did a great job.  Some days are better than others, but l think its just his nerves.

Answer 5

Did you see Juno? I know it's wrong to take advice from movies, but maybe he's not ready to be a dad...at least not as ready as he thought he was before. I went through that, but I got over it, even though my ex-wife & I split up anyway 7 years later.

Answer 6

I have not been in this situation before but I have a good idea of what might be running through his head!  He may either feel one of two things.  The first one would be that at first he was very excited with the idea and hadn't put much thought into how having this baby was going to affect your relationship (positive & negative ways : D ) but the more he starting thinking about it, the more he got scared - understandable!  The second would be that maybe he is feeling jealous - which is completely normal!  It is no longer going to be just you two - and he will no longer be the only love of your life : )

Bear with him, he will come around!  I wish you the best of luck with your baby!

Answer 7

This is why it is better to wait until you are married to have babies.  At least if you are married, the guy is committed to the relationship and usually cannot wait to have babies with you.

Answer 8

Im a guy, but I can tell you that with our 3rd baby on the way initially I wasn't too happy to find out it is a he, our 1st 2 are girls.  Anyways, the reasoning was that with the obvious sharing of the parenting, mothers would have more to do with girls, and fathers would have more to do with boys.  My concern originally was I didn't want to s***w up some poor little boy, but now I've chilled, and am totally looking forward to his imminent arrival.  Anyways, I didn't want to talk about it with my wife in the beginning, but thats all changed.  So hopefully your man is all nerved up, it doesn't say if you've asked him what the problem is though.  You could start there, soften him up with a nice meal and a couple of cold beers.  He prob wouldn't want to admit he's jacked up on nerves.

Answer 9

I had a similar issue with my husband, except in the opposite order.  I remember when I told him I was pregnant, he just sort of looked at me and said "Oh, okay."  Then went back to surfing the net.

It took him a while to get over it, but he did eventually.  I think it was just sort a shock to him, and he just needed tim to process it.  I don't know your guy, but maybe it's something similar.  Maybe he's just worried about being a good father, finical stuff or how your relationship will change. Maybe he just needs time.

I'm a very blunt person, so if I were in your shoes, I would just sit him down and say you are making me fell like this, because of these actions.  Now what can we do to fix this?  It's a lot harder to actually do though.

I wish you the best of luck, and congratulations on your pregnancy!

Answer 10

My fiance was doing that until today. He saw all of his friends who had children, and although they are young, they couldn't be happier, their kid is their life.

He's been talking about buying baby stuff all day now, and how our kids going to grow up.

They say a man doesn't really become a father until he sees his own kid. Don't bug him about baby stuff too much, or with appointments. It seems terrible now, but it sounds like too much baby is pushing him away. Before the baby is here, make it you and him, because once the baby is born, it's all about baby.

Go out to eat, do fun things that aren't dangerous, date and see a movie, dress up for him and goof around with each other, dress up in something alittle revealing and you and him have a fun night together, and once the baby gets here, and he gets to see what he's created, he'll be so excited and happy.

Answer 11

Sounds to me like he is very nervous about his first, this is totally normal. I gave my husband his first baby, and he had no interest either, but after she was born, he was so in love w/ her. He is just as scared as you are, men just express them selves differently. I think everything will be ok... Good luck & Congrats :)

~A