Anyone else Overwhelmed?

Question

Im 23 weeks pregnant and I am starting to feel depressed and overwhelmed by everything. Mainly my husbands family. We live fairly close to his parents, aunts, cousins and friends that count as family. Everyone always wants to get together or offer their advise, or opinion about everything with the baby. I am tired all the time and starting to get depressed from all of it because I really just feel like I want to be left alone. Does or did anyone feel like this when they were pregnant? How did you handle all the family?

Answer 1

i have a two year old and a 5 month old.....i know how you feel.....just try to stay tough.....get throw it the best you can....as for advise .....my dad always said "listen to advise but follow your heart" they are just trying to help...just remember when your baby is born that your the mom and what works for them may not work for you.......but don't be stubborn either.....some of their advise might make sense.....i was told by a wise man "you have to give respect to get respect" don't just shut don't the families ideas and maybe they will respect you as a mom later......just calm down and make do.....

Answer 2

Let them know that you are not feeling well and that you would like some alone time with your husband. Tell them that you can not feel depressed because it will affect the baby. Everyone wants to do what is best for the baby and they do not think about what is best for the mom right now. You are the mother to be and the wife and you need to say what you want without any apologies. If you can not do it yourself ask your husband to say it for you. Your situation almost sounds like the sit come: Everybody Loves Raymond. Good luck and God bless you and your baby!

Answer 3

First of all it is YOUR baby and your body.  The worst part is biting your tongue and saying thank you to the never ending stream of advice.  

Advice from me:  You were given this baby by God or whatever you believe in b/c you are the best personal to raise it.  Sure you won't have ALL the answers, but you will have better parental instincts on what to do with your baby than anyone else, including the father, most of the time.

Next, honey, at 23 weeks all our hormones are crazy and we just feel depressed.  Those darn chemicals in your brain. Sorry, some of this gets worse after the baby for a few weeks, but it is worth it.  In a few weeks from now though you'll feel a million times better.

Half of your depression is probably chemical though 100% of it is definitely justifiable.  Dont worry we ALL do this.  

Next time there is a get together let them know you're not up to it and the doctor did say you needed to get more rest, remember?

You know some pregnant women develop allergies while prego (I did) and sometimes they are worse than others and other times they don't flair up at all.  Today may be a "bad day" where you should just stay home ;-).

Also, let them know you need some me time and you know you're not going to have any in a few months (joke it off with a laugh).  Or find a website online o give them.  Be busy with "writing letters to baby", getting errands done, or sleeping.

His family is just trying to help so I know it is hard to bite your tongue.  Always let them know you appreciate their years and experience, but there are a few things you'd like to find out on your own.  Definitely tell them you feel lucky your baby will have such a great grandpa, uncle, aunt, whatever when you say this. Do NOT down play your own knowlegde though.  Everyone was new to the mom thing at some point and it doesn't matter how many kids you have.  Each one is different with their own challenges.

Guess what, your family will give you some advice that will be down right STUPID and some advice that is just GOLDEN.  Try to just focus on enjoying your pregnancy.

Let them know you need some solo time with hubby too.  They'll get over it!

By the time the baby is a few weeks old you'll probably know the standard response of: thanks for the advice but my baby's doc and specialist (I lie, all my kids have speicalists) said xxxxx is fine and actually recommended this for us. Also, yea we tried that and it wasn't a good mix for our little guy.  Or, we'll try that if the DOCTOR'S advice isn't working.  By the way, you'll probably have plenty of things you do different than the doctor which is fine, but you can still say doctor's advice to get someone to hush.

Go do fun stuff when you feel depressed.  Go for a walk, watch a movie with g/f, ANYTHING!

Hah hah.  Anyway, good luck with your baby.

Answer 4

I actually had the same problem when I was pregnant with my first child.  I was about the same point as you as well, in my second trimester.

Looking back - I realized I probably was depressed and had some anxiety.  I wanted to be alone all the time.  

I did some research at the time and its actually fairly common for women to experience some depression of some sort during pregnancy, especially during the 2nd trimester.  Noone ever talks about it though, because everything is supposed to be so fabulous and happy when you're pregnant, lol!

Just know you're not alone and it will pass.  If it starts to get so overwhelming that its hard to function, talk to your ob/gyn about it.  I wish I had talked to mine.  I did start to feel much better though by the end of my pregnancy, and felt totally back to normal once I gave birth.  As for your family - don't be afraid to tell them you need some time to yourself.  If you feel you could, tell them how you are feeling, it may make them more understanding.

Good luck!!

Answer 5

I have been there. My ex's mother is the nosiest, most opinionated, coy, rude, "oh we were just in the neighborhood" type...My advice? Don;t mention your personal annoyance and depression to them, it has a large chance of hurting their sensitive feelings and then guilt tripping you about it;) I would let their advice roll off your back (I even advise to stay away from parenting books after the baby is born- they can chip at your self esteem when most moms figure out mothering better without the confusion and often misinformation). Ask family/friends to ask if they want to get together (remember, you aren;t obligated to answer the door- say you were napping!). You aren;t obligated to hang out, answer the phone,,,I spent so much time pleasing other people, talking on the phone, and accepting visitors, when I really needed to say no, I;m busy, I'm tired, etc. Your true friends will understand, albeit some hurt feelings. But ultimately, you have to take care of you, your marriage, and your new baby, and the stress of people pleasing is a bad way to start the most wonderful part of your life. Good luck!

-m