My husband is in a band. This month is ridiculous. Between practice, gigs, studio, he's out 14 nights this month. We have two small children. On rare opportunity, he had an early outdoor gig that I could attend tonight with our kids. I saw his truck pull in at 10:15, but he apparently went over to his bandmate's house (or the local bar) and still isn't home at 12:30. They're probably jamming.
I hate his stupid band. I hate that they spend so much time with him and I don't. He could have come in and spent time with me, I was still up. I'm sure he was on a rush from a really great show, and I don't want him to feel bad about that.
He has so much fun with them. Spending time with me is NOT attractive. Our house is a mess, and we're getting ready to move. He has a zillion renovation projects to do on the new house before we move in, and I'm sure I'd want to talk about that, bills, the kids, etc. Spending time with his buddies is way more fun, how could it not be.
And then, a couple times a month (if I see him long enough without the kids around), I get upset and complain. Now that's attractive. Who wants to hang out with your fat wife who hasn't had time to get a haircut in months, in a messy house, where you're just going to get nagged about a never ending to-do list?
He's not going to change. I KNOW I shouldn't expect him to. I know that. But I can't help feeling it. I'm lonely. I feel unattractive and not worth spending time with. He's not going to turn down gigs, and he'd rather die than quit his band. I don't want him to quit. I just want him to come home.
Anyone else feel like this?
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