Anyone else happy their child left for college?

Question

My daughter and I never really got along. Sometime I think she hates me. It really hurts sometime. No matter how much I have ever done for her, she never appreciated it. I feel that she resents me no matter what I do. I often wonder what I ever did to be treated like she treats me. My other daughter and I get along great. She is considerate and loving, and I always feel her love. She is 5 years older than the one that hates me. Now she has gone off to college, and I feel a tremendous sense of relief, kind of like a weight is lifted off of me. I know that is all mean to say, and I know you are supposed to love your child no matter what (unconditional love), but I am glad she moved out. I don't plan on calling her, if I did call her, I would probably get some sarcastic remark, or short answers to anything I ask her. She is not in to drugs or drinking, and has decent friends, so it is not her being rebellious. She is just mean and inconsiderate, and never appreciated anything I have ever done for her, her entire life. Do I sound mean, and has anyone else gone through anything similar?

Answer 1

Honey I used to tell my eldest son, "I can't miss you if you don't leave!"  LOL

Don't beat yourself up, like they say:  you can pick your spouse, you can pick your friends, h**l you can even pick your nose . . . .but you can't pick your family.

They are who they are.  But I would recommend making an effort to stay in touch with her though, because more than likely she will change with college and growing up.

Call once a week at least, and if after a few phone calls you still get all stressed out, write a letter once a week, just filling her in on what's going on . . . .ask her to call when she has minute, and maybe call her every month or so.

Don't just write her off, and don't write yourself off either . . . .some people have a hard time communicating their feelings and maybe she's one of them and over time she has grown a little sad, bitter even over your reletionship with your other daughter.

I never see my parents, my oldest sister lives right by them and sees them all the time, and my youngest sister lives far away (as far away as she could get LOL) but keeps in touch . . . . . so it's all different.

Sorry it hurts you though . . . keep your chin up . . . .and block with left!!!!

Answer 2

hey sometimes teens are just like that I guess and I'm sorry you have to go through that. maybe she just feels like she wasn't ever as good as the other daughter because she saw the love between yall and never really felt it with you.

yeah its kind of mean to say but then again I'm a teen and having trouble with my mom (only last year when I was 18 she came to my work dropped off 200$ and a KFC chicken bowl and moved to massachusetts from texas without giving me any warning....so I have a little resentment towards her like most people would expect)

just give it some time I'm sure you two will get along when she grows up a little and realizes how much you've done for her. I would call her every now and again or ...maybe just text and tell her that your thinking of her and love her. don't be offended if she doesn't text back, promise me, it will still get through her thick skull.