Anyone else have a hard time convincing the school to hold their child back one year?

Question

She has an IEP, she is in 2nd grade and tests at a kindergarden math level, and a mid-year first grade reading level. The principal wants to push her to third grade, but her 2 special ed teachers, and her classroom teacher both recommend retention. I fully support her repeating the second grade. How do I make this happen for her?

Answer 1

holding the child back will only cause more problem later in life. How would you like to be the only 19/20 year old in you high school class?

Answer 2

You are the parent, the principal is not. Do NOT do anything that goes against your best interest as a caring parent. If you have to take it up with the school board and a good lawyer, so be it. Stand your ground. Just because people work at a school, doesn't mean they know squat about kids.

Good luck!

Answer 3

Speak to the education authority or board of governors, setting out your reasons as you have here, no responsible educator would force her to go on before sjhe is ready and able to.

Answer 4

Investigate your rights as a parent.  Also check into the specifics of IDEA 97... its been a while since I've been in school teaching but there are guidelines that your school needs to follow.  Find out what they are and who you need to meet with.

Also try to explain that part of "no child left behind" is catering to the specific needs of your child.  Holding a child back at a younger age is much better for the child than at an older age.  The further along in school the harder it would be for your daughter.

Another thing to consider would be to homeschool her for a year.  Perhaps with the one on one learning environment you could help her more fully.  At the end of a trial year you could decide if she were ready to return to public schooling or if she was doing better at home.  Often students need to learn at their own pace to thrive.  I'm not sure what your daughter's condition is but I've worked with several special needs individuals.  I taught upper level classes but I also studied and earned a degree in psychology to compliment my duties as a teacher.  I found it was essential for the responsibilities that are given to a teacher.  Teachers need to have a working knowledge of psychological diagnoses and how to help a child who has been diagnosed learn.  Since IDEA 97 was encorporated Teachers are often expected to do a lot more than teach.

The laws governing your area will help you know your rights and entitlements.  Check into them.  There has to be a reasonable answer that can help you to give your daughter what she needs most.

Perhaps you could request extra time with tutoring if they are insistent on her progressing to grade 3.  Another avenue you could go is to tell them that you feel holding her back this year and having her repeat 2ond grade would help her more in the long term.  Some children need that extra year to mature and figure out how to learn with their specific learning style.  If it occurs at a younger age it is more beneficial.  My ADHD brother didn't get the help he needed until he was halfway through high school.  After receiving the help he needed he was a completely different child/student.  He always tells me how he wished he had found the help he needed so much sooner.  He feels like he wasted a lot of his time in school.

Find out why the principal is not taking the advice of the specialists who have been provided to help with your daughters learning and care.  If it has to do with the school ratings or something similarly ridiculous explain how you don't want your child to be left behind because they have an agenda.

Good luck!  These situations can be very difficult.  I am currently planning to homeschool my daughter who was born extremely prematurely when it is time for her to start school.  I plan to homeschool her until she is caught up to the level of her peers (they estimate that to be 8 years of age).  That way she can catch up at her own pace and be ready to have healthy interaction with her peers when the time is right for her (with lots of community and social events while being homeschooled she won't miss out socially).

If you have anymore questions please feel free to let me know :)

Answer 5

You enroll her in the 2nd grade again. It's ultimately your decision, just keep pushing it.

Answer 6

You have to just keep insisting, be very vocal about it. A lot of schools are going that way now. They just don't want to leave kids back. The principal at my old elementary school, now my brother's elementary school that flat out refuses to hold any children back. They are afraid it will damage kid's self esteem and hurt their ability to make friends.

Answer 7

It is your right as a parent to have control over your child's education.  You will have to be persistant.  It is far better to hold a child back at a lower grade so that they can keep up than to have to do it later.

Answer 8

Follow the laws that mandate special ed, IDEA.

First of all, the principal can NOT make this decision.

The WHOLE IEP team has to decide this and all agree to it IN WRITING , IN an official IEP meeting.

IMO, for a sped child, repeating or going on to next grade is irrelevant. For these children, the IEP plan rules what is to be done.

If the child is meeting the goals written on the IEP plan and is suceeding, then by all means the child should go on.

BUT, you say she is only K level for math and 1st grade for reading.

Repeating the grade will NOT help this situation, because what will be done by the teachers to ensure she suceeds next year? NOTHING.

They have to follow state mandated curiculum every year, AND they have to follow what is on the childs IEP plan in what  and how they teach her.

Whatever is on the IEP plan now is NOT working, so instead of her passing or failing, the IEP plan needs to be changed to whatever WILL help her suceed.

It is ultimately the PARENTS decision (put in writing to the school) to decide retention or not, schools don't want you to know this.

It is the IEP teams decision, and this includes YOU, to decide whether she should pass or be retained WITH the NEW help that she will be given once the IEP plan is changed to something that will be done that WILL help her.

And I see no reason for her to be retained since this is suppose to happen.

What you do now is write to district sped director requesting an official IEP meeting to discuss and decide on retention, because IDEA law states the whole IEP team is suppose to decide this, and NOT the principal. (make sure to include this in your letter)

The school will have either 10 or 15 days (what your state mandates) to hold this meeting.

Answer 9

just do it but talk to her first and explain it to her about what your doing my mom wanted to do it to me guess what she didn't and i ended up failing a grade so  it made my elementary school principle look dumb do what you have to do as a mother

Answer 10

I have that same freaking problem! my 12 y/o step son is in 6th grade, and reads on a 3rd grade level. his report cards are failing, in 18 out of 20 marks he is below level and i requested for years that he needs to be held back because he is LAZY he doesnt want to do anything that isnt fun. and they keep pushing him along, saying he just needs extra encouragement. MY A$$! i hate his school! but luckily, he just got expelled, so i dont have to deal with them anymore