Anyone else homeschooling an "unmotivated" Highschooler??

Question

My 10th grader is so unmotivated in just about anything he does. If it's not "fun" he doesn't want to do it. This is partially the reason we pulled him from public school (he wasn't doing his classwork/turning in homework, etc, therefore getting poor grades).

I'm new to homeschooling, so I'm still trying to decide which way to teach him so that it's fun but at the same time educational. Therefore, I haven't really been "teaching"...more reviewing what he knows/doesn't know. So this could be the reasoning, he's telling me "this isn't fun or he's not learning anything new." He's being a little stubborn too because "he wants to be in public school with his friends" but like I've tried telling him, "he brought this upon himself". So without trying to play the "blame game"...how can we make homeschooling beneficial for both of us?

PS: It's almost frustrating enough to where I'm contemplating sending him back to public school....HELP!!!!

Answer 1

My son is almost 13 but was the same way. We had to fight with him to get him to do the work. We decided to switch schools to use a curriculum that is easier to follow and understand...they also test your child to see where they are and they will put your child where they need to be in order to succeed. The curriculum is based on the childs individual needs.

It doesn't matter whether your child is used to being the head of the class, feeling left behind, or somewhere in between—they will set you on the right path.

Now my son is more motivated than he has ever been. He does the work on his own and is actually enjoying it. We are also able to set our own schedules. If he wants to do math all one day and science the next he can. If he wants to change it around, he can ....

http://www2.k12.com/getk12/index.html

Answer 2

I've got one of those too.  The good thing about mine is that he likes schooling at home.  He has always had problems with learning and gave up long time ago.  We are relaxed and try to find new things to keep his interest.  I stress math and language arts.  The science and history are things that we get from TV, movies, and books from library.

How can you make homeschooling beneficial for both of you?   Concentrate on what you think will be important for him.  If he wants to go to community college rather than a 4 year college, gear him towards dual enrollment when he is 16.  If he wants to go to a 4 year college, let him know the requirements.  Get a copy of a SAT study guide and show him what he will need to know.  Put the ball in his court.  If he wants to be a truck driver, guide him  to basic math and business math.  Show him things that would be pertinent to that career.  Show him the difference between being a truck driver and being the president of a trucking company with a fleet of trucks.  Show him the difference in the education that will be needed for both jobs.

Relax.  My son learns more at home than he did at school.  I think your son will too.

Answer 3

hsmomlovinit said pretty much what I was going to say.

My 9th grade daughter wasn't very motivated at the start of this year.  We've only been going for 2 days now and her motivation has increased.  We did a really cool experiment in science today where we used an electric current (from a 9 volt battery), and some baking soda to do 2 things, one was to cause the hydrogen and oxygen atoms in water to separate, causing the two gases to bubble up out of the water, and the the other thing was to very quickly turn our copper wire blue-green (copper hydroxycarbonate, other wise known as tarnish) a process which normally takes much longer- like weeks or months.  With this experiment my unmotivated teen seemed to transform back into the child of several years ago who liked homeschool and got excited about learning something new.

Now, why I shared this is to make a point.  Don't wait to make learning fun.  Do it now.  The Apologia science series has many experiments interspersed with the text, that is what we are using.  

Don't make your learning come only from books!  Last year I was in sort of a panic mode- worried that after homeschooling since kindergarten my daughter might not be ready for High School level work.  So we had a intense year, with lots of book learning and little else.  She did learn a lot, and improved some key areas (particularly math) that needed work before High School.  Unfortunately I think I went a little overboard and because of that she also learned to dread school work.  What a difference now that she sees we are once again doing INTERESTING things.

So, first follow hsmomlovinit's advice.  Then after your period of deschooling find some interesting hands on things to do, whether that is science labs or rebuilding a automobile engine.  Let your son do something he is interested in for his school work.  Of course, since he is in 10th grade you will also need to make sure that he does his regular work- but you can make that as unresting as possible too; have him actually DO the science experiments from his book, Language Arts could be studied around themes that interest him.  I'd like to be more specific, but since I don't know his interests I can't really say "get this book and that kit".

EDIT  spell check turned interesting into unresting.  Made for an interesting sentence in my last paragraph.

Answer 4

I am I am!! Only he is 12, not a high scooler. In fact, I was thinking about asking almost this same question today. He has gotten SO far behind the other kids his age and that is a big part of why I am homeschooling. He will do everything he can to avoid work, and that is hard for teachers to really combat in public school. It is just too easy for him to avoid his work. Sure, that means he gets horrible grades, doesn't learn, and gets held back, but he doesn't care enough to stop slacking. I had learning disabilites too, and my Mom tells me the only reason I was able to sucessfully graduate (without being in special ed) was because I tried my hardest. I was an "Albert Einstein", learning disabled, yet genius in certain areas. I like to explain it by saying I have two right brains and no left brain. However, Tyler is completely unmotivated. I feel like I have to just open his brain and pour the knowledge in against his will, which seems impossible. Sometimes it's hard to even know where to begin with him, because he's gotten so behind. In some areas, he knows about everything he should have known in 2nd grade, in other areas, he's up to a 5th grade level or more. Probably the others had good ideas. I would try those. I am trying, too, to make learning more fun for him, but it is hard, because the type of methods that imprint things in his brain are also the type that bore him to death. lol! Hopefully, we'll both be able to figure out how to get these guys to want to learn before we pull all our hair out!

Answer 5

Well, he may really need a period of "deschooling" - one where he doesn't have a set schedule or lesson plans.  In 10th grade I wouldn't make  it too terribly long, but it can really help him learn to enjoy learning again.

During this time, allow him to choose and follow a project based on something that he'd like to learn about - anything from archery to designing a video game.  Work with him to plan out what he'd like to do, some stipulations for how long he needs to spend on it each day, and some goals to achieve...then let him do it.

Instead of telling him that he brought it on himself (how tempting that can be!), show him how having the freedom to take responsibility for his education can really be an upside.  He's probably had several years of being bored silly in class or not really not enjoying the environment, so he may have (in his mind, at least) given up on wanting to learn.  A project that he has a level of autonomy with can be just the thing.

Once you start to see the motivation, the spark, come back, sit down with him and work out a plan for the year.  There are required courses (math, English, science, etc.), but he can still have some say in them.  What kind of a schedule would work well for him?  How would he like to do his assignments (on the computer, by DVD, by reading a book, by building models)?  Does he want to be able to put literature (historical, science fiction, whatever) into more of his studies?  Would he like to have them already laid out for him, or would he like to be able to research what he's interested in and make a project out of it?  (If he would like this, TRISMS may be a good fit for him - http://trisms.com/ .)

The thing about homeschooling is that you don't have to do "school at home" - you and your son can find what's best for him and tweak it to his needs.  You can work directly with him to provide the education that he deserves.

(I even do this with my 5th grader, and it works wonders :-) )

Hope that helps!