Anyone else lose a close friend or family memeber to suicide?

Question

its been 8 years today since my little brother killed himself (he was 16 and i turned 18 the day we burried him)...and i still cant cope. i dont want help or anything like that. i have a husband and kids and dont really have time for that...plus i just keep it to myself anyway for the most part. i dont want them to know im still suffering inside. my hubby has made plans for my bday this year again but i never feel up to doing anything since its such a bad day for me now. i feel terrible for being this way and i feel selfish...plus i try to hide it. how much longer before time heals this wound? im sick of faking smiles....

Answer 1

I'm very sorry to hear about your loss. May your brother rest in peace. Unfortunetly, some kinds of these things never do go away and you'll always hurt a little bit, but it will get better I promise. Your brother would want you to be happy and live your life. My mom attemped suicide twice last year. I thank god everyday that she's still here. Things will get better, just turn to God if you need help!

Be strong and God Bless!

Answer 2

That wound is one that you have got to heal from within yourself.  As you can't blame yourself for what your brother has done not only to you, but to your entire family.  Why would you not want your husband to know how you are still feeling about loosing your brother and the hurt that you must feel not to mention that he was buried on your birthday.  There's lots of emotions happening within you that you really would like to no how to cope with,  You say you don't need help, I say if you didn't need help then you wouldn't be asking.  I believe honestly that time heals all wounds.  Some just take more time than others.I also think that you should not feel selfish.  You also should not be faking a smile.  I think that no matter what, Yes it's the day that you buried him, but it's also the day that you were born.  I think that just maybe you should take that day and handle it the best way that you know how.  I would probally go to the cemetery and pay my respect.  I would then celebrate that afternoon.  After-all it was your Birthday before it was the day that he was buried.  I hope that, that doesn't sound to cold.  But you are still alive with a life and children and a husband and family that love you. It will get better, good luck!

Answer 3

I'm going to suggest that you get some counseling.  You should be talking this out, and really grieve.  Do you feel in any way responsible for his committing suicide?  This may be deep in your heart.  Please go get some help.  I had three boyfriends who committed suicide.  I hope I had nothing to do with the reason for their deaths.  One other one turned g*y.  It bothers me some about all of it.  I do know there is nothing to be done for it.

Answer 4

buy a nice notebook and write to your brother.  write to him the way you used to talk to him and let the pen go untill you've told him everything you needed to.  you can cover everything in a very private way.  ask him why did he do that, tell him what it made you feel then and what you feel now. tell him of the time you thought of him and tell him of the time you wished he was around to tell him that funny joke.  tell him how he would be proud of his nieces and nephews.  tell him you have a picture up in your house in his memory.  tell him that you wish he would have given you the opportunity to help and that you had the vision to realize he was in pain...everything in your words to him.  then you can do with that notebook whatever you wish in the form of like if you are giving it to him (ie. leave it under a tree somewhere so he can go read it)