Anyone else share my views on the Olympics?

Question

After an exhausting day tootling about in the Rolls, observing the local riff raff scrambling around with their tatty umbrellas in the typical British weather. I find it abhorrent, with such a paltry income they can afford T.V monitors at all, regardless of any motor vehicles. Anyway, on return to the manor, my delightful children Cecil and Ashton, were all excited watching the Beijing Olympics, they didn't have a care in the world, and the wife was so proud to see their happy smiling faces all a glow. However, while they scoffed supper, I decided to play a bit of a jape, I instructed my chum to stand in front of my Camcorder and pretend he was reading the news, only to say the Olympics had been cancelled, as the Chinese government had shot all the competitors by mistake. thinking them to be local villains. Truth be told, I see exercise as a fools errand.

During the next hour they rushed in while the video was playing and burst in to tears. My wife has indicated imminent divorce and muttered words to the effect of "This is the last straw" whatever that means. Should I carry on laughing as I have done up until now, as my son Cecil has never been so quiet ?

Answer 1

Oh my dear Blackadder, you are certainly treading in deep, dark, & dangerous waters here - and I don't mean an Olympic swimming pool, though I think your wife might like to weigh you down & drop you into one just about now. Upsetting the wife is one thing - and actually to be expected, considering the nature of your relationship. But playing with the minds & hearts of children with such a sacred event as the Olympics is a little over the top even for you. Have you considered that had your little video been leaked to the media, you might have started an international incident? (And you may yet!) I understand your base nature leads you to enjoy the torment of others, but maybe this time you should have continued tootling around in the Rolls for a few more hours instead. And, the next time you do go out for a drive, you might want to check your brakes first. That may be where your wife cut your last straw!

Answer 2

code - ive been lying round all day getting stoned but now im bored so i thought id put my walter mitty hat on again and post some more questions

Answer 3

Dude put the pipe down.

Answer 4

can you translate that into Hundai or Kia so we po foke can unnastan?

Answer 5

Just keep on laughing..

Answer 6

The last straw would indicate that you are now out of drinking aids, although i find this to be unreasonable grounds for divorce, i am un aware of the full details so can only sumise.

As for your practical joke. Maybe your chums control of the camera was the underlying outrage. I say this because i have seen amature videos that have easily brought tears to my eyes, and i myself have had to look for something else to blame.

Answer 7

your name doesnt even make sense.. how are we supposed to understand this?

Answer 8

Oh my lord - all this time you've been trying to get rid of her, and something so simple has done a treat.

The only problem I can see is that you wont have someone to watch Cecil and Ashton - bathe them and dress them.  Of course if she is insistant on leaving then you could just buy the little ones a new mummy on the internet.

Good luck - and I hope she isnt too expensive.

xx