Anyone ever done an Open Adoption?

Question

What's your take on it?

Answer 1

"I would not do it. I have adopted twice, and I think a good clean break is best. My girls are our lives now, and we don't need any outsiders trying to be a part of it. If they want to be a part of the kid's lives, then be a decent parent, do not give up your children or have you parental rights terminated. You screwed up, now let me have love my daughters in peace!!"

wow, those kind of comments kill. i understand your concern...but don't you atleast have any compassion for the woman/en who gave you your daughters. by saying a birthmother has "screwed" up, you've just debased the birth of your daughters. for some parents the only way they can be a"decent" parent is to place their child in a loving home and hope their child will one day understand their ultimate sacrifice. unfortunately, with a mother like you, your daughters may never really appreciate the gift their birthparents gave them.

i'm in an open adoption with my son and his birth family. contrary to the belief, i do not interfere in their lives. we send each other letters when possible. we agree on visits. other than that, they live their lives free from "intrusion" from me. i do not wish to disrupt their lives in anyway, like many people believe. i do not know anything about my son's residence except for the town he lives in and his parents were more than willing to tell me. we communicate through the adoption agency. we agreed on these term before termination. if one of us feels uncomfortable about the lines of communication we can change it, including more openess or less openess.

Answer 2

We are in a fully open adoption, and it's been wonderful for our family. It's not necessarily easy, as forming and maintaining new relationships is work, but my research indicates it is the best choice for us, and most importantly for our son. Also, we truly like his family or origin, they are all people we are happy to have  in our lives.

Keep in mind though it's not the best choice in every situation. I couldn't as easily recommend it if the people involved were toxic in some way; criminals, pathological liars, unstable, etc.

Answer 3

our adoption is open.  we send pictures and letters often.  i speak with our birthmother on the phone at least once a month.  and we try to visit on a regular basis.  our daughter is only 18 months old and the 4 visits we've done were great.  to be honest i was worried sick the first one we did, but the birthmother and i have a good relationship and have and understand boundaries.  we chose an open adoption because our daughter will never need to wonder "where" she came from and "why".  she knows who her birthmother is and she knows who her mommy and daddy are.  we don't feel this is going to cause any confusion later on if we are open and honest.  she wil have access to genetic and family history.  and she will know her brother's and sister's.  i think if both parties on each side are comfortable and emotionally able to set boundaries and understand each other's feelings an open adoption is what is in the best interest of the adopted child.

Answer 4

Open adoption is generally in the best interst of the child.  Despite the myth, Children do not get confused and they clearly know who everyone is!  They can also, with openness, have a better self concept.  There are no fantasies, no wondering, and a better health history.  Children who know their birthmothers are generally more grounded.

However, everyone involved has to have good boundaires, be sensitive to others needs, and be reliable.  And it is recommended that this agreement be between emotionally and mentally healthy parents (all).  If the birthmother has a strong history of drug use, for example, this arrangement may not be safe or in the child's best interest.   Or, for example, if the adoptive parents are not responsive to the birthmother's need for contact, etc., then again it may not work well for the child.

It is a situation which ideally can benefit the child enormously!

Answer 5

We have an open adoption relationship with my daughter's birthmom. We send letters and pictures a few times per year, and we get together with her birthfamily once or twice a year.  It's great!  My daugher will always know her ancestry, and her birthmom won't always wonder how her birthdaughter is doing and if she's happy.

Answer 6

my friend did. i think it is a good idea. that why the baby knows there birth mother. when the child is own enough you can explain why you had to give them up.

Answer 7

I would not do it.  I have adopted twice, and I think a good clean break is best.  My girls are our lives now, and we don't need any outsiders trying to be a part of it.  If they want to be a part of the kid's lives, then be a decent parent, do not give up your children or have you parental rights terminated.  You screwed up, now let me have love my daughters in peace!!.

Answer 8

I haven't  but I wish when I was adoptied that it was an open adoption but then again my mother who raised me didn't want one just 4 the simple she was scared that the 17 year old girl who gave birth 2 me might want me back so now I WILL Never know what my true background is(not that I want 2 meet my birth partants cause i could careless) I just wish I know there medical background that all