Anyone ever start out breastfeeding but then change your mind and want to use formula?

Question

I desperately wanted to breastfeed and have had my mind made up since i found out i was pregnant, but since my daughter arrived it's been a nightmare. I knew it could be a difficult experience the first few weeks, and I knew it could take a lot of work to get it right, but I seriously am miserable. I want her to have the breastmilk so much! My daughter won't nurse (she's three weeks) and has yet successfully feed at the breast. I pump every few hours, usually after she eats, and my milk supply has started to go down so much so that I need to use formula every other feeding now because have no milk. I bring her to the breast every feeding, and she screams bloody murder for as long as I have her there in every position. My boyfriend and both our families were very supportive and in favor of breastfeeding from the start but are all getting to the point where they want me to just bottle feed now, i'm starting to resent them and quite honestly, my daughter, and it's making me sick to think of this. i don't want to have to attempt nursing anymore because she never will, i hate that i leak and have to always be wearing a bra. my chest feels like it's going to fall off from pumping so often, i'm just tired of it! has anyone else out there just decided that that they really don't want to be breastfeeding anymore?

Answer 1

What you're doing is not breastfeeding, which is why it's so lousy for you. You need to get qualified help to get your daughter to nurse directly.

How to find a lactation consultant: http://parenting.ivillage.com/baby/bbrea...

What you are doing -- having to deal with pumps and bottles and a screaming newborn -- has nothing in common with a good nursing relationship. There is good help out there; get it.

La Leche League (will help in person, for free): http://llli.org/

It may be a pain now, but. Formula is wildly inferior; babies die from not being breastfed, even in the United States. And eventually latching a baby is as difficult as using velcro, but making bottles never gets easier in the middle of the night.

Answer 2

I BF for 8 weeks and then I started formula basically for the same reasons.  I was sick of my b*****s leaking all over our bed when I was sleeping, having him feed off from me every hour when I was already tired from him staying up all night * he had his nights and days mixed up* and it got the the point when my husband said I think hes hungry and me looking at my husband and saying "I DON'T CARE HE HAS BEEN EATING FOR THE LAST 3 HOURS I NEED SLEEP!"   The LC's at the hospitals were no help they just made me feel even worse so when people told me to call the LC I just laughed.  After that day that I blew up, I decided to go on formula because I was starting to not want to feed my own child and I felt horrible.  After I started to bottle feed everything changed I was much happier my son is much happier and the whole mood has changed.  I say if it works it works.  There are going to be some breastfeeding n***s trying to make you feel bad, but don't feel bad, its better to have a happy baby and mom than being frustrated.  I felt guilty for a couple of days but then I look at my son when we are playing together and him smiling and laughing, I know I did the right thing.

Answer 3

I had a hard time with breastfeeding too, but much less so than you are!  Sorry to hear it's been such a struggle.  Breastfeeding might be the natural alternative and provide the baby with lots of anti-bodies, but when mom and baby are super stressed over it I think keeping up with it does more harm than good.  Defiantely contact a lacatation consultant if you haven't already, making a small change might make a huge difference.  LC's will be overly supportive (meaning insistant) about BF, and suggest all sorts of things like nipple shields, taping tubes to your fingers to feed, etc just to make it work.  If it gets to be too much for you, don't feel bad about bottle feeding.  Once I made the switch and finally felt good about it, I felt so free!  LC's will hate me for saying this, but don't believe the hype about babies for thousands of years being only breastfed and all turned out fine.  Infant mortality rates were much higher in the past and I'm convinced that at least some of it was due to inability to breastfeed.  We're very lucky to live in a time where formula is available and does a great job of nourishing a baby.

PS - how sad that so many of the answerers who support your decision to switch to formula are getting thumbs down!  With my son it looked like everything was going right, good latch, he could go 2 1/2 to 3 hours between feedings, good diaper count, but he just wasn't gaining weight.  I worked with an LC to incease my supply which worked, but still not enough weight gain.  Without formula my son would be very sickly now, or worse.  Breastfeeding is not ALWAYS the best for every child and every mother.  Let's be a little more open minded people!

Answer 4

The attached website is for the Australian Breastfeeding Mothers Association.  If you aren't Australian there maybe a local group for you or if you can't find one then contact his lot and they might know or be able to halp you...

Answer 5

i breastfeed my son for 5 days and gave up, i was the same i was determained from when i found out i was pregnant that i was going to breastfeed. but after 5 days trying to with my son screaming everytime i even showed him my boob i put him on to the bottle and he was soo mach happier

Answer 6

You need to do what works best for you.  When I had my daughter, I felt the same way.  I wanted so badly to nurse her for all the good benefits there are supposed to be.  I did read that the first time they breast feed, they get some mega dose of mom's immune system in the liquidy stuff that comes out first.  I had the hardest time ever.  For me, milk was just not coming out!  I was pumping and nursing and nothing was happening.  I kept calling the pediatrician and the hospital and those lacatating specialists who all make you feel inferior if you do not do this.  Well, when I brought my daughter to the pediatrician for her first visit after coming home from the hospital, she lost over 1 lb.  She was not getting any milk!! It was awful.  They told me to keep trying.  I finally called my gynocologist.  She told me that sometimes the milk ducts don't work and some people can NOT breast feed.  When my daughter sucked down her first bottle of formula, I was hysterical crying because it was like I was starving her to death!!!  If it is stressful for you, it is also stressful for your baby.  Do what feels right.  "mother knows best".  You can hold the baby real close to you and snuggle, she can hear your heart beat and everything and eat from a bottle.  Don't feel bad for making any decision about this, you will know what the right thing is to do.  Good luck and treasure the moments with you little one.

Answer 7

hi there

i felt the same way with both my children, i never wanted to bottle feed and to be honest never really even consider not being able to breast feed as silly as that may sound, my first born wouldn't latch and i would have to wrestle with her every feed i was miserably and sore and eventually dried up.

with my second i decided to give it another go and found it completley different i was more relaxed and so was she i only lasted 6 months as my milk dried up again but i look back on how stressed i was with my first i felt like a failure because i couldn't continue  i think i made the right decision to stop breast feeding, dont get me wrong i support breast feeding all the way but if your not happy or comfortable then how can your baby be expected to be,i have two children one who was bottle fed and one who was breast fed and they are no different despite what breast feeding associations say both my children are happy and healthy, there is so much pressure to breast feed, to be the perfect mother but in the end you can only do what you beleave to be the right thing for your baby and for yourself.

i hope i was of so help

haylee

Answer 8

if you want to stop then stop. it does get easier after the first 6 weeks. if you stop offering formula and bottles of pumped milk,she will take your breast with no problem, you just have to work at it.  

Answer 9

I breastfeed for a couple days, and then pumped for 2 weeks because I kept getting bruising and blisters... ouch!  Then I got so sick of pumping, and pumping. So I went to formula. Its hard... really hard. You just have to do what works for you! After I stopped I had alot of guilt,epecially hanging out on this website... there are alot of moms who will say very hurtfull things about bottle feeders. And how formula is SO bad. But, I just have to remind myself it just wasnt working for my baby and I and formula cant be that bad. Its feeding my baby when I just couldnt. We cant let our little ones starve. Do what you feel you need to... and its no body elses business. But, if you bottle feed be prepared to get some critisisum. Just because you dont want to breastfeed does not mean that you love your child any less or that you dont want the best for them!  

Answer 10

Most people who start out breastfeeding give up - unfortunately.

You need to get help - please don't give up until you have spoken to a lactation consultant. Family support simply is not the same as someone who is trained to help people who are struggling.

(Big hug) from someone who's been there. If you can't stand it then she will be fine with formula. But be sure you've tried everything first - because if you can get it working it's the best feeling in the world.

Answer 11

You have your daughters well being to think of.  If feeding time is that stressful then it might not be worth it.

If you still really want to try breastfeeding, (which I still reccommend!!) then talk to a lactation or la leche leage leader in your area.  You might not be latching her on just right or she might be at the wrong angle or something!  Even a breast feeding support group in your area will be very helpful!  Remember that breast feeding is a learned behavior that takes practice, it is not something we are instinctive born with!

Answer 12

yes, its very difficult. then the guilt! it DOESNT need to be this emotionally straining to feed your baby -go to a bottle. you tried

Answer 13

I feel for you - it can't be an easy decision.  I breastfed my son until just before his first birthday, and I'm glad my husband was there in the first few weeks to hug me (and stop me screaming!) while my son latched on as it hurt SOOOOO much.

I have a friend who was so keen on breastfeeding.  In the end though, after 6 weeks she realised it was not in her daughter's best interest for Mum to be so worked up about it, dreading the pain from every feed (baby was prem so had to be fed every 2 hours), falling asleep while nursing, and putting baby in danger.  She swapped to the bottle, and baby is perfectly normal, with a sane mum!

Don't feel guilty about it - trust your instinct as a mum - you have to do what's best for both of you at the same time.

Answer 14

I breastfed for about 7 hours and decided it wasn't for me. But hey, I tried it. You've done great by your daughter and you should be very proud of yourself. My husband was relieved that i decided against breastfeeding and he really enjoys feeding our daughter. If it's really that bad, then don't do it. The most important milk has already been passed onto your daughter in the first few days anyway. Everyone knows breast is best, but in some cases it is not best for the mother. Does your daughter want an unhappy Mummy?. No she does not. All the best.  

Answer 15

I pumped because my daughter couldn't nurse, I did it for ten months and it was a total pain in the ***, but I wanted her to get the nutrition from the breast milk. Babies DONT die from being formula fed, don't listen to Obber-Mother of the Year. If it is too frustrating for you to breastfeed or pump, by all means, please use formula, it is very expensive though. But really, what is good for you is good for your baby, if you'll be a happier, less stessed mother for feeding her formula, then please, do it:)

Answer 16

:)  hunny..I feel for you..I know with great memory what your going through..both my boys were fussy feeders, one lasted 3 months breastfeeding and the other 4 months...alot of the time I was in agony...not fun! I tried to do the best I could and then just figured..hey, with the tecnology of formula these days I would just do it..and Im glad i did...but a word of advice, plan a day to do it and a week before, slow your breastfeeds down slowly each day, this way you wont get the ballon b***s..they hurt! and it will affect your breast muc less, as in stretch marks and such. and get that bio oil onto them as well :)

Good luck..and remember, you and your bubby are the most important  people here..you know whats best!

Answer 17

I'm really sorry that BF isn't working out for you.  I know it can be really frustrating when you have your heart set on something and it just doesn't happen the way you imagine.  If you really want to keep trying, see a certified LC.  There could be a number of reasons why your child won't nurse.

That being said, there is nothing wrong with formula...especially if you are starting to resent your child!  If trying to BF is causing you so much distress that you are putting those feelings onto your child, then it's just not worth it.  You pumped and gave your child a great start, so make the switch guilt-free and start enjoying your baby even more than you already do.

Good luck!