Anyone for tennis-cricket-rounders?

Question

It seems to me that popular sports of today are sadly lacking in excitement and challenge. I have therefore taken it upon myself to develop a completely new sport.

Firstly, let's dismiss American "football" and baseball. Everyone knows they are poofs sports.

My proposed sport would combine the best of British. The toughness of rugby, the grace and short skirts of tennis, the thuggery of soccer and the tedium of golf.

Essentially, players would gather in the centre of a muddy field, and shoot each other with catapults. Women would be allowed to take part, but must be scantily clad in jackboots.

The winner is determined by who has the highest academic qualifications.

Answer 1

Tip top. I wouldn't want to ruin my frock. x

Answer 2

You had me at Anyone Sir.

I'm in but I need to know what I can shout.

Do we do a tennis s**y noise? A Footy vague chant 'Oooo are ya'?

A call of 'FOUR' before flinging balls about?

Maybe I'll just punch the air with a shout every so often and invent new chants and shouts - 'Yipee dee da doobooby doo!' All together now!  

Answer 3

It's not a gentlemans sport unless there's at least one teabreak, you can get drunk and smoke whilst doing it, it lasts for three days and there is not necessarily a winner at the end.

As you can see from the Olympics, we excell at sports that require sitting down and expensive equiptment, this keeps the rif-raff out, who, lets face it, are better at manual labour.



I disagree with the inclusion of fillies, hoes can't throw and there has to be a thinly veiled undercurrent of homoeroticism, or else what's the point of team sports?

Keep the cheerleaders from American football, discard the rest.

Answer 4

Alas, I harbour some misgivings about mingling with muddy thugs in the daylight hours, comfortable though my jackboots may be. However, I am interested to invest some of the profits from my Beachside Canine Hash Run endeavor to purchase one of the first team franchises. I've a hunch this sport will catch on 'rapido', considering it's roots in nearly every popular sport worldwide. I've got $$ in my eyes, and wouldn't want to miss my chance at grubbing a little extra, money-hungry imperialist house-wife that I am!

Nossa! Almost forgot to send out the beijos!

Answer 5

Count me in * puts on gym slip*

Answer 6

Ooooeer, Sindy in a gym slip, or short skirt or anything come to that, the mind boggles, cant imagine those d**n yankees in a gym slip, oh my goodness me no. wouldn't be cricket. I am working on a trebuchet that will propel up to 4 servants at a time for this years Autumn shoot, could I bring that instead of the catapult? Oooer Sindy in jackboots, gasp.....glug.....er...got to go for a cold shower....er...gulp  

Answer 7

Sports??....Sports, that man??!

Sweaty jockstraps and moving about very fast till it hurts?? Showers with others of the same s*x? All that laughing and cameraderie?? And getting cross when losing and throwing an undignified hissy fits like a girl does?

Answer 8

Toughness, thuggery, short skirts, catapults ... your sport is alive and well and known as lacrosse.  At Dame Agatha's Academy for Suspendered Young Ladies they play every morning.  'Grace' is what is said before they eat the opposition for breakfast, and as for qualifications, a Dame Agatha's girl likes to beat allcomers.