Anyone got any good office jokes?

Question

anybody got any good office jokes right now? lol coz I'm in the office and I'm bout to fall asleep =). thanks

Answer 1

A boss tells his new employee, "I'll give you 8 bucks an hour starting today and in three months, I'll raise it to 10 bucks an hour. So when would you like to start?"

"In 3 months."

.........................................

A young businessman had just started his own firm.

He'd rented a beautiful office and had it furnished with antiques. Sitting there, he saw a man come into the outer office. Wishing to appear busy, the businessman picked up the phone and started to pretend he had a big deal working. He threw huge figures around and made giant commitments.

Finally, he hung up and asked the visitor, "Can I help you?"

The man said, "Sure. I've come to install the phone."

Answer 2

More work related than office jokes but....enjoy.

Signs

In a Podiatrist's office:

'Time wounds all heels.'

On a Septic Tank Truck:

Yesterday's Meals on Wheels

At a Proctologist's door:

'To expedite your visit, please back in.'

On a Plumber's truck:

'We repair what your husband fixed.'

On another Plumber's truck:

'Don't sleep with a drip. Call your plumber.'

On a Church's Bill board:

'7 days without God makes one weak.'

At a Tire Shop in Milwaukee :

'Invite us to your next blowout.'

At a Towing company:

'We don't charge an arm and a leg. We want tows.'

On an Electrician's truck:

'Let us remove your shorts.'

In a Nonsmoking Area:

'If we see smoke, we will assume you are on fire and take appropriate action.'

On a Maternity Room door:

'Push. Push. Push.'

At an Optometrist's Office:

'If you don't see what you're looking for, you've come to the right place.'

On a Taxidermist's window:

'We really know our stuff.'

On a Fence:

'Salesmen welcome! Dog food is expensive!'

At a Car Dealership:

'The best way to get back on your feet - miss a car payment.'

Outside a Muffler Shop:

'No appointment necessary. We hear you coming.'

In a Veterinarian's waiting room:

'Be back in 5 minutes. Sit! Stay!'

At the Electric Company

'We would be delighted if you send in your payment.

However, if you don't, you will be.'

In a Restaurant window:

'Don't stand there and be hungry; come on in and get fed up.'

In the front yard of a Funeral Home:

'Drive carefully. We'll wait.'

At a Propane Filling Station:

'Thank heaven for little grills.'

And don't forget the sign at a

CHICAGO RADIATOR SHOP:

'Best place in town to take a leak.'

Sign on the back of another Septic Tank Truck:

'Caution - This Truck is full of Political Promises