Question:

Anyone got funny sayings?

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i like this one(if you don't like the way i drive,stay off the sidewalk!) hope u liked :)
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Pull up your socks!
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My boss described someone to me as looking like...

"his face caught on fire and was beaten out with a cricket bat"

which I thought was hilarious... :o)
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When life gives you lemons.....

squirt someone in the eye.
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* It's hotter than two squirrles makin love in a wool sock in the desert in the middle of August.

* It's colder than a naked Eskimo on the shady side of an igloo.

* Shibby Libby!

* It's like a one-legged dog trying to play quarterback.
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Eagles may soar, but weasels don't get sucked into jet engines.

Nothing's impossible for people who don't have to do it.

Never go to a Doctor whose office plants have died.

The secret of immortality dies with me.
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My mom used to always say things like

"don't shave above the knee unless you're expectin company"

"the best way to get over someone is to get under someone"

"a good friend will help you move, a better friend will help you move a body"

and "you are only young once, but you can be immature forever"
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Its all fun and games until someone gets hurt, then its hilarious !

OR

its all fun and games until someone loses an eyeball, then HEY, FREE EYEBALL !!
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I need that advice as much as a leper needs a three way mirror.

It's hard to believe you're the end results of millions of years of evolution.
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Miley Cyrus sucks ahahaha
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"Never get in a fight with an ugly person they have nothing to lose."

-Robin Williams
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If at first you don't succeed,

Cut your throat and watch it bleed.

That's from my high school classmate Nina :)
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smack rat !!
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Not mine, but this is my favorite:

"The devil made me do it the first time, the second time I did it on my own"

Billy Joe Shaver
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"Well, i,ll go to the foot of my stairs. .....or....Never laughed so much since my aunt f***y caught her t.. in the mangle...
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Hello,

"If at first you don't succeed, skydiving isn't for you."

Smiles,

Kim~
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Hi

I'm nt sure if it was my grandmother that made this up or not but here it is...

It ain't no sin, To take off your skin and dance around in your bones!

Hope you like it good luck byeeeee x
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depends on what you're looking for - i lived in the south awhile and one of my favorites directed to good food was "that's so good if you put it on my head i'd l**k my brains out to get to it" what a compliment in a weird sorta way...
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when my dad is surprised about something he says: "Oh my giddy aunt!"
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1.

friends are like gum. once you get them on your shoe, you can't get rid of them!

2.

a friend in need is a friend in deed. an enemy in need is just hilarious.

3.

my IQ test came back negative.
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http://images.google.com/images?um=1&hl=...
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"If Barbie is so popular, why do you have to buy all her friends?"
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