Anyone have a lot of their guests asking if they can bring a date

Question

My brother and his fiancee have sent off their invites, due to their budget & size of our family etc they decided only close relatives and friends would have 1s, all other invites were addressed to just "Jane Doe" or "John Smith" but they still have Jane Doe ringing up to ask if she can bring a guest! Its driving me crazy how many people are asking for a 1! Anybody else had this problem?

Answer 1

That is a very common question, and personally I believe every guest should be allowed to bring one date--even if it's a friend. No one likes attending things like weddings alone. My fiance' and I are on a tight budget, but we found a way to afford our guests and their dates and even their children because we want them to have a good and memorable time.

Answer 2

I am not sure it is a problem...allowing single guests to bring a date is just proper etiquette.  I think it is rude to not give them the option. Perhaps you could encourage some invites to attend together instead of inviting someone not already on the guest list.  Otherwise, find a way to cut costs elsewhere.  

Answer 3

It is customary that people bring a date to a wedding. If they could only afford the one person, they should have specified this on the invitation or included a personal note stating this.

Most weddings have dancing so it is appropriate for a guest to have a companion. Your brother should have scaled the guest list down so they could include the "date".

Answer 4

This question always arises.   Response should be NO.  Due to space limitations no extra guests can be accomodated.

Answer 5

It is only common sense to know that no one wants to attend a wedding alone.  So no single people should have been invited and only kept to close relatives that are a couple.  

I personally would never accept such an invitation nor give a gift.

Answer 6

well, it is considered proper etiquette to invite all adult guests with a date. so since their invitation didn't say 'and guest' they are probably confused as to why they were not invited with a guest, and that is why they are asking.

Answer 7

I think if someone is in a serious relationship then they should be allowed to bring their partner to the wedding. If they're single then they shouldn't even be asking if they can bring a date- why would you want people you don't even know at your wedding?

When I was single I preferred going to weddings alone. There are plenty of family and friends to speak to.

I would just politely tell them "Sorry, due to budget and space limitations we can't allow extra guests." If you allow one person to bring one then it will just cause arguments with other guests that want to bring one.

Answer 8

Annoyingly, I just had a guest reply "plus 4" after their name. I was appalled- even more when my man let it slip, since it was his friend. :( As for single guests, I added "and guest" after their names on the invite because I didn't want them to feel left out if they didn't know anyone at the wedding.

Answer 9

A lot of singles are invited to have a guest. However, due to the size of the event, your brother is doing the right thing. They should consider themselves lucky that these people are calling and asking and not just showing up with one. That can be much more awkward than just asking.

Answer 10

Who wants to go to a wedding alone? These people probably won't come if they can't bring a date and just want to be sure.  

Answer 11

Yes, most weddings allow single people to bring a date. Because singles can feel awkward when surrounded with couples and strangers. If the number of guests are getting too high because of the plus ones, then the list needs to be cut down or change to buffet.  Maybe your brother can say no to family asking to bring plus ones because they can understand the situation better, but it would be rude to not allowed guests to bring plus ones and family/relatives that are in committed relationship should also be allowed to bring their partner.

Answer 12

It happens everywhere. Noone really wants to go to a wedding alone unless they know a group of people and won't feel left out. Also if all the other friends are bringing their fiances and wives and just a select few can't bring their girlfriends or dates, then they'll feel out of place as well.

I think it should be dealt on a one-on-one basis. Some people may be accommodated while most can't and then there'll be the odd number of people who just won't come because of it.

I think the best course of action would have been to contact these friends with a friendly email explaining the budget and how they appreciate and would love to have a grand party where everyone can bring a guest or date but it's just not possible.

All the best.  

Answer 13

When I was single I never got an invite saying "bring someone so you won't be bored during the most personal event of my life".  I mean that's what you are saying to the bride and groom.  "I want to see you get married, but not if it puts a damper on my social life."

I would NEVER do that to a bride and most brides I know have been outraged that they do that.  Yes of course.  I'd love to pay for dinner for random strangers that I've never met.

You wouldn't do that at a dinner.  If your aunt and uncle asked to take you out to dinner, would you call and ask if you can bring 5 friends?  If it was a private party at a coworkers new house, you wouldn't show up in a minivan full of people.  No b/c its rude.  People only do it at weddings b/c you think the bride and groom will be too busy to notice.  I would only call the bride and groom if I had gotten engaged and they may not know.  I'd call and say I'd like to bring my fiance.

But yeah--I had someone write me a note on their RSVP that said they were bringing 4 out of town guests!!!  And both their sons--not invited due to space--brought girlfriends.  I was in shock and had no idea someone would have the nerve to invite 6 extra people to an invite for 2.