Anyone have advice on independent adoption?

Question

We live in Texas and would like to adopt a baby boy independently. We have been trying to adopt for a couple of years and really want a baby. I need advice on how to go about finding someone that is willing to let us adopt their baby.

Answer 1

My best advice is to be educated, informed and to tread carefully.  I know some people who have done private adoptions and it worked out very well.  I know other people who were taken advantage of.  

If you're sure you want to adopt privately, just be careful.  If it sounds too good to be true, it probably is.

Answer 2

Here are a few snippets from: Public and Private Adoption: A Comparison of Service and Accessibility Author(s): Kerry J. Daly and Michael P. Sobol Source: Family Relations, Vol. 43, No. 1, (Jan., 1994), pp. 86-93

“One of the explanations offered for the prevalence of private adoptions is that the decreasing number of healthy Caucasian babies has escalated their "commodity value" because the "under- supply" has made them a "scarce resource" (Prichard, 1984). The result is a "seller's market" that is driven by high demand (Reitz & Watson, 1992).”

“…several authors have outlined the potential pitfalls of private adoption. For the adoptive parents, these include inadequate preparation (Briggs, 1991; Hoopes, 1990), minimal information about biological background, poor long-term support (Hoopes, 1990), and the potential to be charged exorbitant fees or be excluded due to inability to pay (Wells & Reshotko, 1986). For the biological parents, there is a higher potential that they would be pressured to place their child because of the financial nature of the transaction and the possibility that they would not receive adequate counselling for coming to terms with their loss (Wells & Reshotko, 1986).”

“However, as private adoptions account for an increasing proportion of all adoptions, the focus on the best interests of the child is called into question. As prospective adoptive parents become the paying consumers of an adoption service, there is the potential for the needs, desires, or expectations of the adopting couple to once again supersede the needs of the child. In particular, concerns have been expressed about the poor preparation and selection of adoptive parents and the possible exploitation of birth mothers in private adoptions (MacDonald, 1984).”

I suggest foster care.

Answer 3

I strongly suggest that you read the book "The Girls Who Went Away" by Ann Fessler to help you understand why you are having trouble finding a baby to adopt.  The book describes the grief and loss that mothers and children feel when babies are given away in adoptions.  Very, very few mothers make this choice these days.  I understand that you are frustrated, so I think that it might help you to understand the reality of adoption now.

I strongly suggest that you look into foster care.  Very few infants need homes, but there are older children who need someone to love them.

Answer 4

There are women all over America who are dying to give up their boys to you.  (rolling eyes here)

"Independent" of what?  Attorneys & an agency?  Does that mean you don't want to pay anything?

Why not try foster care?  Those are kids who really need homes.

The babies belong with their MOTHERS.

Answer 5

My best suggestion is to contact a local attorney that specializes in family law or adoption to find out what the laws are in your state about finding biological parents.  Many states have specific laws regarding the ways you can find a child for adoption and you don't want to cause the adoption to fail at the end because of a law you weren't aware of.

Another option is to speak to a local reputable adoption agency that can explain all of the adoption options available.  

Good luck to you.

Answer 6

GO TO CHINA! its amazing there! an there are so many chilDren that are looking for a home! then neeD u! besiDes china is rich in Culture an while ur there u will get to explore the beautiful Country.

go to this web site for ADoption stuff.http://www.chinesechildren.org/