Anyone have any Funny/ Inspiring quotes?

Question

I'm bored and I like quotes =) so If you have any funny or inpiring quotes or both. Then please share them! give me a Star if, well just star me =P lol . thanks in advance. oh yeah and the one with the best quote ill give 10 points. or the one with the most thumbs up so give the quotes you like a thumbs up.

Answer 1

I'll write an excerpt from my own poem, let's see if people like it. I wrote it over a couple of years back, don't have a copy of the published version, just writing what I can recall and adding up something fresh.

It talks of how human life, at times, becomes a struggle and how it proves to be tough to hold on to one's values and convictions. The poem shows how a piece of coal, if it withstands times and difficulties, can turn into a diamond. (According to what is famous: Coal and diamond are 2 different forms of pure carbon, coal can turn into diamond owning to the pressure and heat under the earth's crust).

In life one should face tough situations while holding on to truth and one's moral ethics. Hope this is inspirational. Also, it has the message of positivity and perseverance.

"Long long ago, it's a tale too old,

In the depth  of the earth, there was a big strong coal.

...

It had never liked the pressure or the heat,

Sitting below the earth, a thousand feet.

...

It sadly saw its friends being fetched one after another,

But then smiled and recalled what one heard of one's mother.

...

And so did it pay this patient wait,

That it too was extracted, though late!

And wonder of wonders, dear o dear!

It was no longer a coal mere.

It had grown in value too far,

Diamond had it turned, excellence par!"

There are other sayings, but the one that I have made mine is

"The only substitute of hard work is harder work".

Answer 2

"A computer once beat me at chess, but it was no match for me at kickboxing."

"You laugh because I'm different... I laugh because I just farted."

"Your mama's so fat, when she sings, it's over."

Answer 3

When i'm trying to make a big decision I always think this quote to myself..

"You'll never have a chance unless you take one"

you might not like it but ya its my favorite :)

Peace

Answer 4

"dont let what u cant do get in the way of what u can do"

or

"success only comes before work in the dictionary"

hope those were entertaining :)

Answer 5

How about:

"Life is like a box of chocolate, you never know what your going to get."

or my personal favorite:

"I figure life's a gift and I don't intend on wasting it."

As for funny? Hmmm, I'm always found "Quick, what's the number for 911?" Sort of funny.

Answer 6

"you cant break the girl who thinks nothing of you".

"keep looking my way,My head is held high.you wanna bring me down i dare you to try".

"Don't hate me because I wasn't who you thought I was or who you wanted me to be. From start to finish you never knew the real me."

Answer 7

Not quotes , but inspiring statments :

21 Things To Remember:

1. No one can ruin your day without YOUR permission.

2. Most people will be about as happy, as they decide to be.

3. Others can stop you temporarily, but only you can do it permanently.

4. Whatever you are willing to put up with, is exactly what you will have.

5. Success stops when you do.

6. When your ship comes in.... make sure you are willing to unload it.

7. You will never have it all together.

8. Life is a journey...not a destination. Enjoy the trip!

9. The biggest lie on the planet When I get what I want I will be happy.

10. The best way to escape your problem is to solve it.

11. I've learned that ultimately , 'takers' lose and 'givers' win.

12. Life's precious moments don't have value, unless they are shared.

13. If you don't start, it's certain you won't arrive.

14. We often fear the thing we want the most.

15. He or she who laughs...... lasts.

16. Yesterday was the deadline for all complaints.

17. Look for opportunities. ..not guarantees.

18. Life is what's coming....not what was.

19. Success is getting up one more time.

20. Now is the most interesting time of all.

21. When things go wrong.....don' t go with them.

Answer 8

Friendship is like peeing on yourself: everyone can see it, but only you get the warm feeling that it brings.

Answer 9

"I am not a Scientologist, nor should anyone else be."

-- Maynard James Keenan of TOOL

Answer 10

dont judge a man untill you have walked a mile in his shoes.why do stuff today, that you can put off till tomarrow.i want  to live my life in the fast lane, but i cant find the on ramp.do as i say, not as i do. here today, gone tomarrow.why buy the cow, when you can get the milk for free.if you lay down with dogs, you will get up with flees.some people have one of those days, i  have one of those lives. dont p**s on myleg, and tell me it raining.eat today, diet tomarrow.  aBible thats falling apart. probally belongs to some one who isnt..its easier to preach 10 sermons, then to live one.opportunity knocks only once. but temptation bangs on your door for years.to make a long story short, dont tell it . to err is human,to blame it on someone else is more human.Some minds are like concrete,thoroughly mixed up and permanently set. no matter how old you get,hug and kiss your mom whenever you greet her.God himself does not purpose to judge a man untill hes dead, so why should i? when you say your sorry look the person in the eyes. when you lose , dont loose the lesson.talk slow but think fast.dont judge people by there relatives.When you feel terrific, notify your face. Smile, it makes people wonder what your up too.Never be ashamed of  honest tears.Dont mistake kindness for weakness.Dont confuse foolishness with bravery.Regardless of the situation, react with class.Someone will  always be looking at you as an example of how to behave. dont let them down.Do the right thing, regardless of what others think. Smile, you never know whos day you will make. Before you leave home, make sure you have clean underwear on. Dont pass up a blind date, thats how i met your mother. Do one good deed aday, It will come back to you some day. Ma loved pa, Pa loved women, Ma caught pa with two in swimming.. Here lies PA. Im the boss, that why.. that all i got. PEACE OUT.