Anyone have any opinions on adoption???

Question

Anyone have any opinions on adoption???

Answer 1

I think for a last resort kind of situation , its great  but i cannot emphasis how important it is to be emotionally capable ,financially stable and loveing the addopted parents must be in order to make this work . I am speaking of this because i am addopted and i could not have been more thankful for me being in this position because i live the "dream" life my sister wish she had ,but ..there were times and still in in my recent years that i've had to deal with emotional break downs .As a child it was wonderful but as i got older i had boundless questions i wanted answers too and it was difficult to get them.I also went tru the stage of wanting to find out and getting to kno my "real" relatives and ive learned that its a whild world and its not easy to get by just upon a smile.

Another question i think addopted parents always forget to ask themself is ..

1. will my husband get along with his child[if its a single parent at the time , or if the wife cannot have kids]

2.In the future when i have kids of my own will i be able to controle how much more i love my"own blood" ?

3.Can i make this child happy ?

The reasons put those questions out there is beacuse my addopted mother cannot have children and she took me into consideration before she got married and when she did ,the man she married always treated me like a "nobody" and at the age of 9, he sexually abused me .Me and my addopted mother kind of drifted apart beacause he was the "man of the house" and she was powerless,yrs later ,at age 19 i told her about the abuse when i got the strenght to overcome it and she doesnt belive me.

Adoption is a serious thing to consider , if theres a healthy family out there , then thats great. and the ones who want to addopt must not only think of "helping a child" but answer the question , DO I DESERVE TO HAVE CHILDEN? am i responsible enough?? years from now how will things be ?

Do realise that there will be a day that this child with grow up and will question things ,can you handle that ? are you able to give all that love ?

Answer 2

Adoption can be a positive experience. I myself was adopted by my step father. While i was young i wondered who is was all the time. I had very high hopes when i finally met him, we was a nice guy but just not my 'dad'. I have now adopted  two children, as a first choice, I'm 28 and can have children. My need to be mother was stronger then my need to be pregnant. As soon as i met my little ones (brother and sister) I fell in love. Is it hard? Yes. Will there be challenges, yes. Will my children look for the 'real' mom one day, yes with my support. I know first hand that it is not the blood that runs through my reins that made me the women i am today it was the wonderful step father and mother i had. Adoption is not for all but dont be scared it also. My children know and will always know they are adopted. Will they had at some point a 'who am I' moment? Of course, but i knew alot of friends that had both parents feel the same way. Think of all those children lingering in foster care, why wouldn't they be better off with loving families?

Answer 3

adopting children...

many children out there need homes and families to love them...

if you can provide that and also treat them as your own...not any less or any more...then i would say go for it. when i am financially situated i am going to adopt myself.

Answer 4

well my bff was adopted and now she found her birth mom, and she was miserable until she found her.  i think that adoption is stupid unless the women was raped in that case adoption is fine.  But i think it is stupid that women are just giving their kids away and some of them are able to support the child they just don't want it.  I think it is the dumbest thing ever and it shouldn't be aloud

Answer 5

Yes. I have lots of opinions about adoption. If you want them you have to be more specific.

In general, it needs a LOT of reform.

Answer 6

Its AMAZING!..I really think it is!...my fav. cosen was adobted into my family!..I love her bio mom from doin that!..Gave her a much better life...

Answer 7

i was 17 when i put my baby up for adoption, that was in the 60's and i had no choice, life was much different then, single mom were socially uacceptable, i regret it to this day and wish i could find her, have been trying for years.  having said that it was better for her to be born than for me to have had an abortion and taken away her life completely.  my daughter had an abortion when young and has regretted ever since,she just had a quad pregnancy and was given the option of reduction and just could not do it again

Answer 8

Sometimes it's necessary.  It always starts with a loss.  It can be painful for the adoptee and the first parents.  The only ones who gain are the adoptive parents.  (Adoptees are only "gaining" something they've already lost - and it's not an equal trade.)  I'm glad adoption exists for now, but it needs to change drastically, and it needs to be about finding families for kids, not the other way around.

Answer 9

I think it's a great thing to do. It's like with cats and dogs, there are less strays when you adopt.

Answer 10

I plan to adopt in the future. Its unconditional love, you dont know what your getting but its yours.

Answer 11

It stinks... It stinks like a sandwich made of 10 day dead roadkill and blue cheese that has been sitting in a plastic bag in the sun all afternoon.

Answer 12

People need to change their perspectives on this.

It is not 'a wonderful thing', it is a child being taken away from their parents.

It is a child being taken away from everything they have ever known, seen, felt, heard, just to make some PAP feel  better about their own infertility.

It is hard not to be able to have children. I know, a good friend is going through IVF, and it's so hard.

But that doesn't mean you get to steal us!

Answer 13

Sure do! My bro was adopted b/c his parents were broke and he was able to join our family completely as if he was blood related. I think that anyone who can admit that they can't give their kid the life they deserve and are able to be selfless enough to allow the baby to have a chance at a good life.

Much better than abortion....

Hope that helps.

Answer 14

I was adopted as an infant.  I had very loving, supportive adoptive parents.  

Adoption hurts.  It is born from loss.  And society needs to understand that adoption indicates a loss for the child (and is not just a "good and wonderful" thing).  

We need to get over our love affair with adoption and see it for the complicated mess it is.

Answer 15

I was adopted when I was 6 mos old. The family that put me up for adoption had 6 children already and I'm guessing couldn't afford a 7th.  My adoptive grandparents were my foster parents and their daughter and her husband decided to adopt me. Long story short from that point, I've had 5 Dads 4 Moms and lived with my grandparents of and on over the yrs.  I don't think I've turned out too badly, I learned what not to do. But have never really had a sense of "Home".  It was hard parenting my own children because of the bad examples of parents that I had.  I am sure that this is not always the case, but because of my experience I would never put a child up for adoption.  I don't want to meet my biological parents either, how upset would my mother be to find out that things didn't turn out the way she had hoped.  And for me.... I don't need anymore disappointments in the way of parents.

Answer 16

MY GOODNESS!!!  how can people compare adopting a child to adopting an animal. "adopt so there will be less strays" wtf?

and for the ones who say " it is good because it helps people who cant have children have the baby they always wanted" It is not about the adoptive parents, it should be all about the children.

i think that adoption is not the best thing that could have happened to adoptees, but it is necessary sometimes. It should be a last resort.

Answer 17

i believe that if its gonna give a baby a better life the no go right ahead but hen if you were the one having s*x without a condom that's Ur fault the baby is yoUr fault ur responsibility and you should deal with it!

Answer 18

i think its a wonderful option for people who can't have children. I think its a wonderful option for those who can have children and decide to help a less fortunate child who's parent had to abandon them.

I think that adoption should only be legal for married couples who have been married for a minimum of two years and who have a good credit history and can prove that they can financially provide for them and that child.

As far as same s*x couples are concerned, Although it can be a touchy subject, I happen to know a few that would make great parents and who have the means and finances to be able to help a less fortunate child. Not all g*y people act the same. Those of you who stereotype "all" g*y people as being the same, you need a reality check. If a same s*x couple raises a child, it does not mean that child will grow up and be g*y.

Answer 19

Adopting what?

I'm good with whatever your adopting because the things or people will have a home.

Answer 20

I was a child put into the foster system when I was only 6mths old (both my parents died in an accident). I was well aware of the fact that my different sets of foster parents weren't my 'real' parents at a VERY young age (told MANY, MANY times by some of the jerks to be exact)...by the time I was placed into a half decent home I was already to old by their standards for them to adopt...bless them though, they treated me great while I was there even though they didn't want to make it permanent. They were the only 'parents' that had ever treated me like a human child and not a inconvenience that provided them with a monthly check. I became very attached to them, even called them mom and dad with their permission of course. I was devastated when I was ripped from their home when the 'system' found their dream child they always wanted to adopt, and I was placed in a group home, where my life once again became h#ll. I would have LOVED to be adopted and have a family! I don't understand why there seems to be such a negative light cast upon the subject of adoption....

  l would have LOVED to be adopted and have a family....I am in my late 20's and it still hurts, especially during holidays when everyone I know is so excited to be with their families....although now that I have my husband and 2 children I am finally being to heal...

To all those out there that were adopted...at least you were given the chance at having a complete family, its sad that you just can't appreciate the fact that you had a constant, stable home life surrounded by people that wanted you and cared for you...give me a freakin break!

Answer 21

adopting kids: adopt people from exotic places like vietnam

as for pets, from animal shelter, dogs or cats

Answer 22

Adoption is a huge undertaking, but if you are ready to take on the responsibility.  It can be very rewarding for the child and adoptive parent.

The really tough thing would be when the child asks about their birth parents and how that is handled.

Answer 23

If you can afford it and are emotionally and physically available go for it.

You're giving a child an opportunity in life that they may have never had otherwise

Answer 24

It is a good thing provided the child is going to a better place.

Answer 25

Adoption is very good if u know u can handle the resposibility and give the child a great life :) i respect ppl who adopt bc it means they care.

Answer 26

It depends on the birth mother

Some are fine, realize it's the right thing to do for them

Others, regret it for the rest of their life

I think if it's right for the birth mother, than it's a very good thing

Answer 27

i think it is a great thing to do

a member of my family was adopted

Answer 28

I'm sorry, but I couldn't help but cringe as I read all these "It's so wonderful" type things.

I think adoption has gone from an unfortunately sometimes necessary event into something completely indescribable.

Next thing you know, people will have a store. I can already picture the auctioneer. "Babies. Babies here. Come and get em. We got them all. Your classic white, your new exotics, and for you folks on a budget, some great lookin minorities."

I think a lot needs to be changed. Adoption should be a last resort as it is never pleasant, least of all for the adoptee.

Answer 29

I think adoption is a really good way to go. My sister has no kids but sh eis able to have them but says there are so many children out there with no homes and no love why would she have one when she could give that love to a child who needs it more then an unborn one. When she is ready that is what she is going to do is adopt but not a newborn she said because they mostly find home but a child around 3 and up. So I agree it is a great idea!

Answer 30

Adoption is different for different people.  When we all begin to understand that, we can start working towards what is best for the child.  

For us, adoption was a blessing.  It saved our son from neglect that could have put his life in jeopardy and saved him from being placed into the foster care system.  It gave us the family we wanted for so long.  Our opinion of adoption for ourselves has been a beautiful one.

However, I am also familiar with the dark side of adoption because of cousins who were separated during the adoption process after an abusive home life.  So for some, adoption is not a positive thing for them.  

For our son and our family, it worked.  For others, it might not.  We just have to be open to everyone's opinions and stories - which it seems that you are doing with your question.  : )

Answer 31

get a younger child any age under about 5, maybe thats even too old, because they are old enough to know that you arnt there real parents and thats the worst thing in the world for a child you took care of to say "you arnt my mom or i dont have to listen to you." so i think the younger they are the better, because you can teach them easier at a younger age then when they are older and set in there own ways. good luck!