Anyone have experience with bullying in Montessori casa setting? My 4 yr olds school is experiencing this...?

Question

for the first time. I would like to hear from others if they had this sort of situation occur and how did the teachers handle it? My daughter is on the recieving end of the aggression by a 6 year old boy. The teacher thus far has spoken to both my daughter and the boy while I listened and am sadly not confident that the young boy understood what was being discussed. The teacher I felt was too vague and most of the dialogue was to my daughter about standing up for herself. Certainly others must have had this happen to them or someone they know or have some wisdom on how to proceed should this likely come up again.

The boys parents do not know to my knowledge that he has been in this situation and my husband and I are not confident that this is being dealt with effectively.

Thanks for your time everyone!

Answer 1

I am sorry that cissyit had a friend who had such a bad experience in a school that called itself Montessori.  I am sure that this happened, there are schools with the Montessori name that really do not have any Montessori certified people working for them.  Oh, they might say that they are trained, but that could mean that they sat through a meeting run by a person who read a web page on Montessori.  I always tell people to ask what kind of certification the teachers have and if the school is accredited. Not affiliated, which means that they paid 50 bucks to some organization, but accredited which means that all the teachers are trained by a true training center and the school has been positively evaluated by a Montessori Accreditation team.

With that said, Montessorians do not believe that bulling is EVER a child's way of expressing his feelings or any such thing. A BIG part of Montessori education is teaching conflict resolution and respect.  There are in fact two strands of our curriculum where this comes into play, Peace Education and Grace and Courtesy.  In Peace Education children are taught conflict resolution skills as well as active listening skills, while in Grace and Courtesy lessons children are taught how to word things nicely, be empathetic, respectful and courteous.

The problem you seem to be having is not with Montessori itself, but with the teacher.  Is she new?  It sounds like she does not have a lot of experience as a teacher.  My suggestion is to go back to the teacher and explain your concerns.  Tell her that you are worried the young boy did not understand what she is talking about and that the bullying has not stopped.  Ask her to please address the situation DIRECTLY.  If you feel that the teacher still does not do this effectively, then go to the director and ask her to step in.

If nothing works, you should remove your child from the school, not because it is Montessori, but because it is NOT Montessori no matter what it says on the name.

I just told my 7-10 year olds about this post and they too are in shock.  They know how hard we work together to make sure that no one in our school is ever bullied or hurt.  They can't believe that anyone would think that Montessori promotes meaness or bullying of any kind.Their additional suggestions are...

Tell the teacher that you would like to speak with the parents of the child.  Maybe you could all have a meeting together and talk to the child.  Maybe he doesn't know what he is doing is wrong.

Observe the child and see if there is something going on in their home life.  Bullies usually are mean because they feel bad about themselves.  Maybe talking to the bully will help him feel better about himself and not be so mean.

If your child is still being bullied, take him out of the school, but send him to one like ours.  We never allow bullying and WE ARE MONTESSORI.

Answer 2

NO YOU SHOULD HAVE THE TEATHER TO WHATH HER  AND THE BOY CAREFULLY.

Answer 3

Sorry, but this is typical of the "Montessori" environment.  Any normal teacher would inform both sets of parents and the aggressive child would be dealt with.  The "Montessori" way is to not impede a child by telling him or her right from wrong, because that may stunt the childs creativity or some c**p.  You would be wise to take your child out of that environment and put in her in a regular shool, not necessarily public but anything other than the concept of "Montessori".  I had a friend who did the Montessori thing with her son, and I was shocked at the behaviors they tolerated from a child.