Anyone know this good joke concerning Forest Gump?

Question

I'm trying to get the full version of a joke I overheard in a pub. I didn't get it all, just dribs and drabs. As I wasn't in their company I couldn't ask the guy to tell it again. One of the lines were Name the two days of the week that begin with the letter T. Forest answers "Today & Tomorrow" that's about it. Anyone fill me in?

Answer 1

When Forest Gump died, he stood in front of SaintPeter at the Pearly Gates. Saint Peter said, “Welcome, Forest. We’ve heard a lot about you.” He continued, “Unfortunately, it’s getting pretty crowded up here and we find that we now have to give people an entrance examination before we let them in.” Related Image

“Okay,” said Forest. “I hope it’s not too hard. I’ve already been through a test. My momma used to say, ‘Life is like a final exam. It’s hard.’ ”

“Yes, Forest, I know. But this test is only three questions. Here they are.”

1) Which two days of the week begin with the letter ‘T’?” (This is from Arca Max)

2) How many seconds are in a year?

3) What is God’s first name?

“Well, sir,” said Forest, “The first one is easy. Which two days of the week begin with the letter ‘T’? Today and Tomorrow.”

Saint Peter looked surprised and said, “Well, that wasn’t the answer I was looking for, but you have a point. I give you credit for that answer.”

“The next question,” said Forest, “How many seconds are in a year? Twelve.”

“Twelve?” said Saint Peter, surprised and confused.

“Yes, sir. January 2nd, February 2nd, March 2nd …”

Saint Peter interrupted him. “I see what you mean. I’ll have to give you credit for that one, too.”

“And the last question,” said Forest, “What is God’s first name? It’s Andy.”

“Andy?” said Saint Peter, in shock. “How did you come up with ‘Andy’?”

“I learned it in church. We used to sing about it.” Forest broke into song, “Andy walks with me, Andy talks with me, Andy tells me I am His own.”

Saint Peter opened the gate to heaven and said, “Run, Forest, Run!”

Answer 2

Same as above but with the Lords Prayer.

The day finally arrived:  Forest Gump dies and goes to Heaven.

He is met at the Pearly Gates by Saint Peter himself.

The gates are closed, however, and Forest approaches the gatekeeper.

Saint Peter says, "Well, Forest, it's certainly good to see you.

We have heard a lot about you.

I must inform you that the place is filling up fast,

and we've been administering an entrance examination for everyone.

The tests are fairly short, but you need to pass before you can get into Heaven."

Forest responds, "It shore is good to be here Saint Peter.

I was looking forward to this. Nobody ever told me about any entrance exams.

Shore hope the test ain't too hard; life was a big enough test as it was."

Saint Peter goes on, "Yes, I know Forest.

But, the test I have for you is only three questions.

Here is the first: What days of the week begin with the letter 'T'?

Second, how many seconds are there in a year?

Third, what is God's name?"

Forest goes away to think the questions over.

He returns the next day and goes up to Saint Peter to try to answer the exam questions.

Saint Peter waves him up and asks,

"Now that you have had a chance to think the questions over, tell me your answers."

Forest says, "Well, the first one, how many days of the week begin with the letter 'T'?

Shucks, that one's easy; that'd be Today and Tomorrow!"

The saint's eyes open wide and he exclaims,

"Forest!  That's not what I was thinking, but... you do have a point though,

and I guess I didn't specify, so I give you credit for that answer."

"How about the next one" says Saint Peter, "how many seconds in a year?"

"Now that one's harder," says Forest.

"But, I thunk and thunk about that, and I guess the only answer can be twelve."

Astounded, Saint Peter says, "Twelve! Twelve!

Forest, how in Heaven's name could you come up with twelve seconds in a year?"

Forest says, "Shucks, there gotta be twelve:

January second, February second, March second... "

"Hold it," interrupts Saint Peter. "I see where you're going with it.

And I guess I see your point, though that wasn't quite what I had in mind.

I'll give you credit for that one too."

"Let's go on with the next and final question," says Saint Peter,

"Can you tell me God's name?"

Forest says, "Well shore, I know God's name.

Everbody probly know it. It's Andy Howard."

"Andy Howard?" asks Saint Peter.    

"What makes you think it's 'Andy Howard'?"

Forest answers, "It's in the song and the prayer."

"The song and the prayer?" asks Saint Peter,

"Which song and prayer?"

"Andy's song", responds Forest,

"Andy walks with me, Andy talks with me... ",

and The Lord's Prayer," responds Forest:

"Our Father, who art in heaven, Howard be thy name..."