Anyone...livery yard problems??!?

Question

I have recently moved to a new yard after buying a horse, I didnt really want to be at the other yard where I had lessons because quite a few people were pretty mean and said nasty things behind everyones backs about how you ride and your horse.

So I moved to a new yard and a similar (although not as bad) thing happens here.

I can see that people look down their nose at me because as I am in the process of training and schooling my horse it is not as good as their perfect (and very expensive) dressage horses...! My horse is lovely (and gorgeous - in quite a few peoples opinion!) and I love him to bits but they dont exactly feel the same!

I try and ignore these people and not be bothered but its not so easy when you have to be around them twice a day and share an arena with them. I just wondered if anyone else had any experience of people being bitchy/s****. about their horses...not just at livery yards but anywhere, maybe at shows and other places? and how do you deal with them?

Answer 1

The barn where I ride has a 3 day show giong on now, and 700 expensive showjumping horses come to compete. My horse is new and I didn't have him by the regristration date, so when I take him out to graze, the people on their horses look down on me.

What I do is ignore them. They aren't perfect and just because they jump 5 feet and spend $100,000 every year doesn't make them better than you

Answer 2

This is common at most livery yards, although the one we are at isn't too bad. For some reason alot of people who own horses seem to think that they are better than anyone else. So if you're 'down to earth' and own a horse they look down their noses at you, as though you're not supposed to own one. I'm afraid it won't go away, the only way to deal with it is prove them wrong!! Our pony is the prettiest and most affectionate mare on the yard by a long way but she's only 4 and can be a bit mischievious - so I know everyones waiting for her to put a foot wrong so they can talk about it - so just ignore the bitching because they're all just jealous!

Answer 3

That's the horse world I'm sorry to say. I've had that happen at every single place I've kept my horses as well as at almost all shows! And this includes both New Zealand and America. People always think their horses are better than yours, their riding is better, or at the least that they have better tack/supplies etc. I had a $40,000 dollar horse at one time and I was looked down upon just as much as I am now with my $1000 horse. Just a matter of opinion I guess. Your horse should be better to you than the other horses but should not create pride. The best thing to do is just remember that you love your horse and that you are a good rider in your own right. I just make my own goals and do the best that I can with the horse I have at any one time. You just have to stay out of the back talk and try not to pay attention to it. If you become part of it, it will become worse. It'll never go away no matter where you go but certain places have less of it than others. Discipline specific barns are often the worst. A "hunter barn", "dressage barn" etc often come with an ego and you are more likely to get looked down upon. A lower key place with jumping, western, dressage etc is often better just because you can't compare as much. However there are benefits to discipline specific barns such as tailored arenas, more lesson opportunities etc. So it's up to you to either ignore or move on. Good luck!

Answer 4

Every single livery yard is the same - the clients gossip and snipe, the staff gossip and snipe and they all gossip and snipe about each other. For some unknown reason livery yards are the bitchiest places on Earth ( with maybe a few exceptions) and I'm sorry to say that most of the reason is that they are female dominated. Ignore them as much as you can, if someone is nice be nice back but don't get drawn into conversations about how awful so and so is or next thing you know you'll be involved in the whole mess as well. Some people have nothing better to do than badmouth someone else ( even though they invite them round for coffee later - so watch for that, it's not just nasty it's nasty and two faced as well) they seem to forget that they are all there for the same basic reason.

Of course they will find fault with your horse - it's not theirs so there has to be something wrong with it doesn't there ?

How to deal with them - smile, nod, be pleasant, sympathise when something goes wrong, be shocked when something goes missing, congratulate when something goes good. join in group activities etc ( or you'll be called a snob) but never criticise anything or anyone to anyone else.

Answer 5

Just so you know...it also happens with 'western style' stables and barns.  Usually by the females.  The only 'male' problems I see...is the catty women sniffing his britches...and him doing some kind of preening mating dance.   BARF!!  Some of the males just seem to want to see how many adoring 'mares' he can attract and preen for.

Back stabbers too...talked garbage about my horse and me...then invite you to sit with them and 'chat'....DANGER DANGER DANGER!!  Had financial difficulty and couldn't pay my board for two months.  The barn manager worked with me...and those same people that talked down to me about my horse....were talking behind MY back seeing who would be first to buy my horse if the barn had to seize it.  Back stabbing hypocritical barn snobs!!!

It happens most places...bummer.  Wouldn't trade having them at home....for nothing!!

Answer 6

The better question: who hasn't dealt with people like that?

You just need to let it go. You have the upper hand to their "perfect (and very expensive) dressage horses". You have a horse that you have a bond with, not just a horse to win ribbons on.

In the end, you have the choice to let them discourage you or to show them up. One day, the lovely horse you are training could be that perfect and expensive dressage horse they want to buy. That's how I always thought of it when I had to deal with those people.

Answer 7

Oh, been there done that!!! I have never been to a barn that didn't have a few drama queens! I don't know what it is about those kind of people, but for some reason if horse people feel "threatened" by you, they attack! LOL

And I'll tell ya, it doesn't matter if you're boarding at a fancy 2000 dollar a month english show barn, or a backyard barn with trail riders, it's EVERYWHERE!

I have my own place now (Thank GOD for that!), so I haven't had many run-ins with anybody in quite a while. About a year ago though I had a few younger teen girls boarding at my place.. BIG mistake. They were always at each others throats. I would get little girls running up to my house complaining saying "(enter name here) did this!! and (So n so) did that!!" I never heard the end of it. It was just outright dumb things too. One girl would get a new headstall and the other would be jealous so she'd make up stories about her "friend" doing something she wasn't supposed too. needless to say, I kicked those little B's out!! LOL

It's not just kids and teens though, and not just the girls, but i think they hold the majority.

There's not really much you can do except TRY to ignore the BS. If you can't ignore it, talk to the barn manager, your parents or another "mature" adult at your facility. Let someone know what's going on in a mature manner and then leave it alone. If it gets bad enough, stick up for yourself!! Let those people know you're not about to take c**p from them. You may end up with enemies at the end of it, but at least they leave you and your horse alone! Good luck girly!

Answer 8

Oh yes!  I know it is hard but I just ignore them now.  I thank God that I don't board my horses anywhere so don't have to put up with this attitude on a daily basis but you just have to rise above it.  Be proud of your horse and your accomplishments and don't let their attitudes bully you into doing things you wouldn't normally do.  Don't participate in s****./bitchy discussions either because that will make YOU part of somebody elses' problem.  If someone wants to offer you unwanted advice or comments just smile and thank them and do what you want to do anyhow.  Kill them with kindness and they will find it hard to be bitchy and mean.  Trust me it works.

Answer 9

I've never shown any horses, but a few people that stable at the same place as me have.  One of them now refuses to show because she said the other competitors ruined it for her and took the fun out of it.  You don't need to spend a fortune on buying a horse to have a good horse.  But to answer your quuestion, yes people can be very s****. and bitchy when it comes to horses.  They assume that just because they spent $20,000 on their horse it's better than my $2,000 horse.  Don't let them ruin it for you!

Answer 10

Yes I Think Alot Of People Have.

At A Yard I Used to ride at people used to treat me and my friends like dirt just because we are only teenagers and cant afford really expensive horses.

one guy told me i would never amount to anything as a rider.

i have also had problems with people saying things about our ponies saying we dont ride or look after them properly.

but i am at an amazing yard now and its littrally amazing :)

my 4 best friends are there and there is no bitchyness. its a small yard which makes things even better. :D

as long as you know you are doing evreything for your horse then you will be fine.

if they say things to you just agree and smile nodd then walk away trust me it really gets to them :)

x*x

Answer 11

One of my daughters went through that when she moved her small gelding to a big hunter jumper facility.  Her little guy looked like a shrimp next to most of the other kid's horses, and they called her horse things like "cute little pony" and "sweet little horsie"...it was mean spirited and condescending and definitely meant to demean. I gave her all the usual good mom type advice, and my daughter tried her best to infiltrate this elite group of snobs.  She ultimately discovered that the level of backstabbing and infighting among them required that she either choose up sides or hang out alone, so we moved the horse to another facility which, fortunately, was more to her liking. Sometimes it's better to move on.  Around us, we have many facilities to choose from...if it isn't fun for you, keep looking around until you find the right fit.