Anyone missed out on many life experiences?

Question

I spent most of my time in a high school that didn't have much opportunity. No one came to the football games (or any games for that matter) the graduation rate was the lowest in the state, the girls had babies at early ages, and the boys rattled about who got more F's. It was rather pathetic.

However, I was granted an opportunity to begin college my sophomore year of H.S. I used this not only to make me a better person versus those just enrolled in high school but to get away from the negativity that surrounded the school.

Going to college early was a good thing, but at the same time I feel like I could of had better choices in life. I mean, if I had the chance to attend a school like Hoover High (Alabama) or even some of the schools I have seen in the Suburbs of Florida I wouldn't have started college so early. I would have cherished the moments of high school from beginning to end.

The school I went to didn't have any energy, even most of the cheerleaders were ineligible to participate in sports. No one came to class, and no one aimed high academically.

I basically isolated myself, because I felt ashamed of my school. I was known as the smart kid, one or two girls may have liked me throughout the entire 4 years of H.S but nothing I'd be proud to walk the hallways with. My self-esteem dropped and I missed out on all 4 homecomings, prom, and I didn't walk the stage (I just received my diploma in the office).

People kept drilling that I would regret it all, when I really just ended up regretting me not going to a better high school with more opportunity, energy and direction.

This followed me all the way into my freshman year into college. My ACT scores weren't too hot but managed to get accepted into a private college. Head over heels in loans, low self-esteem; I made some "associates" "not friends" but went through more h**l than I ever my first year. I only talk to one or two people from there now.

Due to my "not enjoying college" I have decided to finish my degree online, instead of going back on campus. I also work full time, and my weekends are dedicated to work. I feel so lonely sometimes, but there isn't anything I can do about it.

My uncle keeps bugging me, asking me "Are you thinking about transferring back to a college, on campus" I said no. And he keeps nagging about how I'm missing out on the experience. But frankly I could care less. Our relationship has gone bumpy because of an argument so instead of making a college purchase for me, he bought a home theater system for himself and shows it off.

Any who, I'm not getting any younger and I am finding it more difficult in finding that special someone. Since I take classes online and work, no one is really around. People are in college, or have entered the minimum wage work field for he rest of their lives; with babies.

It just amazes me on how such a seemingly small decision in life, causes so much grief on my part. I just don't know where to find energy. It seems life is losing its grip with me, and I'm slipping away.

I don't drink, smoke, or party so I guess there is a consequence in wanting to stay legit?

Someone please give me some advice, I have been holding a grudge with myself, and feeling sorry for myself for many years and something needs to give.

Please help? I have so much stress ]=

Answer 1

Wow, I know exactly how u feel man.. I've done so very very little in my life too, and I've had so much anger and sadness built up, it's a wonder I'm even still here to write this. I think it might be best if you were to talked to a professional about this, as most ppl on here don't have any good advice. you're definitely not alone in feeling like that.

Answer 2

Sounds like you are at a low point but are intelligent enough to realize this. You are not any different from the rest of us mere mortals.

As social beings that we are, it's difficult to buck the mold of 1000's of years of family, tribal ties.

It may seem in some circles that we need to behave more like a pack members to survive. That's another story.

Look at sales books and find ones that suit you best. They can be old like Norman Vincent Peale, Andrew Carnegie or more recent works by Joe Girard etc. Maybe sales aren't your thing but the positive information applies to everyone in all walks of life.

It can help with obtaining a healthy relationship with the opposite s*x too.

  

Answer 3

uh.....need someone to talk to?

Answer 4

I wish I had an answer for you... I really do, because I'm in the same boat as you. Granted the facts are slightly different but still very much the same. Be glad you don't have depression like me, on top of all the **** you deal with daily imagine if you woke up almost everyday wishing you would just die. Not a day goes by that I don't think of ways to kill myself... day after day... and yet here I am still alive.... and thats the depressing part.

It just seems like all my life no matter how hard I tried life always beat me down. Slowly killing my self esteem and draining me of everything. I'm not alive, I'm not dead, I'm just here, like a rock and its a horrible feeling.

Answer 5

You need to talk to Jesus

Answer 6

It seems to me you are spending a lot of time dwelling on the past, what could have--or even should have been.  It also seems that you look down on many people for many things.  Nobody likes to be looked down on.  So what if someone isn't a great academic?  Maybe they will be the next George Carlin, the next Willie Nelson.  Sure one of them is dead and the other is well known for his extracurricular consumption activities...but those men had fun in life and there is NO denying that.  I manage to have a great time with my life and I am working not for min. wage but for very close to it but I am doing what I know in my heart I was meant to do with my life.  Yep, I'm a single mom--got pregnant at 20 but you know what?  I would probably be wallowing in the pits of miserable drinking or drug habits because of a tragedy that struck my family 2 years ago.  But, had my baby girl to let me see that there IS light at the end of the tunnel.  So, you see, you don't have to agree with how some people spend their lives...but maybe you should set aside that "I'm better than them therefore they are not worth my time" attitude and look for a little bit of good in people, and even understand that sometimes in life things just have to be the way they are in order for other parts to work out.  Those people you are ignoring could possibly make you laugh, show you what you may have been missing out on while wallowing in self pity by yourself there at home!  Best of all, they can network you to their friends, their family, their associates ... one of which might be a pretty, drug free, intelligent and child-free girl who will steal your heart and let you have hers.  Hope that makes sense?