Anyone raised by parents of a different race out there?

Question

I am planning to adopt a baby. I told my mom that I don't care what race the baby is. She told me that it is wrong for a white person to adopt a baby of another race because the child will "be confused....and unsure where they fit in". I think as long as I teach the child about her background and she is in a family that loves her....it doesn't matter.

Would love to hear from anyone that was raised by parents of another race....and how you feel about it.

Thanks!

Answer 1

This is what I typed in another similar thread:

Where it takes love it also takes a lot more than that when it comes to adopting outside of one's ethnicity. They need to be prepared to face prejudice & hate. Not only that they need to do a lot of research and realize that they personally will not know what their child is going through, should that child face racism or prejudice, not just because they're adopted but also because of the color of their skin.

The only thing they can do is really try to teach their child to be proud of who they are & learn about their culture/ethnicity. It's definitely possible for it to work out but at the same time people go into it not realizing the work & struggle it can be. That's not fair to the child. If a loving afamily is willing to learn, take on the heat & help guide that child then by all means no, that shouldn't be a reason to stop them from adopting outside their race. It can work out just like our family.

Answer 2

My children are transracially adopted....they are Asian, and I am Caucasian.   They like the fact that there are THREE of them, and only ONE of me.  I'm the minority in our house.

It's fine to adopt children of another race or ethnicity, but it is extremely important to respect and embrace their culture.  Always speak of their heritage with reverence....no ethnic jokes, ever (about anyone else's race or nationality, either)!   Learn to cook dishes from their country or culture.  Display ethnic artwork or design in your home.   Celebrate their holidays along with your own.   And above all, be sure to include positive role models in their lives who are of the same ethnicity, race or culture.

Answer 3

Yes, I was raised by two white parents. I'm bi-racial. It was hard growing up in terms of prejudice from the outside world. Within my family i was accepted and loved. So, you will just have to teach your child that while you accept them and love them, there are some stupid mean people out there that can say things that are mean. But anyway this is your decision and don't let other people's prejudice sway you.

Answer 4

Peaness, said a mouthfull and I agree .

Answer 5

I wouldn't worry too much about it. One of my neighbors is a girl that I grew up with. She is Korean and her parents are both some kind of Caucasian. She is very in touch with her Korean roots, and I dont think she ever feels out of place.  Adoption can be a rewarding experience, and I dont think it should matter what race the child is. The point is that you are giving them the opportunity for a better life than the one they were born in to.

Good for you to not care. It's YOUR decision, not your mothers. Good luck and congratulations!

Answer 6

I did not adopt but my two kids are Black/Portuguese and my kids have NEVER been confused...they are happy with themselves since that is what I instilled in them. My cousine him and his partner adopted a little boy from a drug addic mother and this little boy is the happiest well adjusted little guy. Color or ethnicity makes no diffrence remember Jesus said he accepts all that accept him from any nation, so don't let your mom discourage you from doing the right thing and adopting a baby of ethnicity.

Answer 7

I wasn't raised by a parent of a different race, but I'm in an interracial marriage and we have a son and are planning to adopt a Vietnamese child. I'm sure you're mother is a wonderful person, and I'm sure she will make a fantastic grandmother. But, in this she's wrong. Before my husband married me, he told his aunt that we were getting married. She tried to say that it was in the bible that we couldn't. (Just a quick FYI, in the bible, Abraham married an Ethiopian woman and when his sister, the Prophet said that it was ungodly, GOD struck her with leprosy until she recanted. That's how God feels about that...) But when she met me (she was never mean to me or anything), she had a change of heart and now she's one of my biggest supporters (well, no one in his family had a problem but her, and she was a blip on the screen). I just think your mother is a little ignorant on the topic. I can promise you, once you bring that baby home, she'll forget about everything she said or did. Grand parents love grand babies! She'll just need to get used to the idea. Keep in mind that this is your life, and your family. Just make sure you thoroughly research to make sure you're prepared to be a parent to a child of a different race. If you and your husband are confident that you can handle the challenge, then by all means go for it!

I hope this helps,

Skatergurljubulee

Answer 8

do a google blog search for "TRA adoptees"

I am one as well. It was hard.

Answer 9

My aunt (white) and uncle (black) adopted from China. It was hard on my cousin and but my aunt and uncle put a lot of time and effort into helping her identify with her Asian heritage, including language lessons, cooking and 2 trips back to China with her. I imagine had they no put so much effort into helping her come to terms with her abandonment and embracing her true self, it would have been very very hard on her.