Several times the Y!A community, as well as several other friends and neighbors and even the police have suggested that I go to back to court and get a custody modification for my 6 yr old son. Yet after going to 4 different attorney's now in 3 years time I am gathering that custody modifications are difficult to obtain. That's good to hear, and bad to hear. Good to hear, becuase from day one me ex petitioned for a 50/50 custody arrangement - in which I knew and know for a fact he could never meet while he works for UPS (super long hours, many work schedule changes, days then nights, then days again, tranfers to other cities and states at a moments notice for weeks to months at a time). It is more than clear to everyone that he only wanted 50/50 so he would not have to pay child support to yet another ex for yet another child. It's also more than apparent that he marries so the wife can take care of the children, not him, not his job. He's on his 4th marriage now and no longer honors the Right to 1st Refusal, fought to have his new wife defined by his latest attorney to not be included in the Right To 1st Refusal stipulation that if the child is not with the FATHER for a period of 3 hours the FATHER must notify the MOTHER and offer me the time that he will not be with our child to me. So now, me ex doesn't need to be present during his scheduled visitation times ! My attorney said the ex is wrong, that he is not honoring the Right to 1st Refusal, but doubts the judge will get all up in arms about it and to let it go. Ex won that round and immediately stopped paying our agreed upon daycare becuase he no longer needs daycare svcs - our child can stay @ home with his wife while he works (uh, I work too!) My attorney said he can't do that either - but I would have to pay all of the daycare fees whether my child is present or not, then go back to court to get him to reimburse me. The difficulty for a modification change is bad to hear becuz the ex is a pathological liar and is now calling my son a liar practically to his face when he is in fact telling the truth, the ex is still 3 yrs. after the divorce so incredibly spiteful towards me (I did not cheat on him nor take half of his 401K, retirement and savings accts., I left him the house, etc.etc.etc.) that there is no co-parenting (he and his wife will raise my son any way they want and I don't have anything to say about it and to get out of their lives, etc.), told my son's pediatrician that he fears our child is suffering from FAS (oh dear God) and went behind my back to my childs teachers and had them fill out medical questionaiire forms (for ADD since the pediatrician knew it was not FAS) all without my knowledge, forgets to give my son rx's constantly (pink eye drops, rx decongestant, antbiotics, etc.) and just recently started to give my son soda to drink (son never liked soda, he prefers water or milk anyday) immediately after the dentist discovered 3 more cavities (totally 5 now) in 1 years time and referred my child to a specialist becuase thats too many too quickly (SM gives all the kids a bedtime snack, I seriouslly suspect none brush their teeth afterwards) and now my son who never liked soda tells me he drinks it all the time at _____'s (SM) - son no longer even refers to the house as 'Dad's'! Ex won't drop my son off at my house Sun. & Mon. nights now that we don't have a daycare yet he's started 1st grade - tells me he doesn't want to give up his nights with his son so he'll bring him to my house @ 6:30 a.m. so I can get him to the bus stop at 8 a.m. SM lost my child while vacationing in Florida - but never told me, when I found out Ex blamed our 5 yr old child at the time, the SM blamed me! Niether respect me as the child's mother. My son IS effected by all of this. When is enough ENOUGH in the court's eyes? I feel a custody modification to where I have full legal custody, and he has only every other weekend and return the child to me on Sunday nights so as to not effect my son's school routine, and if the child needs any prescriptions then I may refuse custoday visitation to be made up at a later time would be in my son's best interests. Am I going to be told yet again by yet another attorney that there's nothing I can do about it?
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