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Anyone up for editing my story?

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My story

Intro: During this story there will be two characters named the same- Adolf Hitler. I will be naming the first one born Adolf#1 and the second one born Adolf#2.

On 20th of April 1889, Adolf Hitler was born along with Adolf Hitler, twins. They were born in Austria, in a big mansion. Nobody knew they were going to be twins, it was just luck. Alois and Klara, both of Adolf Hitler’s parents, decided not to tell anyone that they had twins, except for the twin’s aunt, Adoir, who was the midwife/nurse during the pregnancy and birth of the twins.

Before the birth, Alois and Klara always hoped that they would have lots of children. But after the birth, Alois and Klara found out that the twins were quiet a handful, which lost there hope for more children in the future.

By the age of 5, Alois and Klara were finding it much more difficult to keep the twins under control. Until it was time for one of them to go to school. Adolf#1 went to school while Adolf#2 was tutored by his parents, Adoir or even Adolf#1 at home.

Adolf#1 loved to tease his brother by giving him more work to do. But really Adolf#1 really hated his brother. But it didn’t really affect Adolf#2 because he loved his brother so much. But the truth was Adolf #1 was evil and Adolf#2 was an angel.

Even Alois and Klara knew the difference and it was definitely a good way of telling them apart.

At the age of 10, the twins were becoming more apart from each other and more difference. One really bad and one really good.

Adolf#1 really tried to get on his brothers nerves but he never succeeded. He tried so hard that he lost his focus at school and failed year 6.

When Alois got a job offer to work as a technician in Germany, the last thing on his mind was to say no. Also when neighbors heard the news about Adolf not passing year 6, it encouraged him to get out of the country as soon as possible, as the there was lots of shame bought to his family. So eventually the whole family moved to Germany, in a big city called Berlin.

By the age of 16, Adolf#1 decided to drop out of school and Adolf#2 decided to go out in the real world. After reading lots of newspaper articles about World War 1, he decided to go and join the army. He wanted to do good for once. Adolf #2 convinced his parents that they should switch for a short while so he could go see the real world.

Adolf#2 successfully got into the army, he was placed as a decorated veteran. It was one of the most appreciated but deathly positions. But just after 1 month, the war had ended and Adolf had came back home making his parents proud with medals for participation. By now Adolf was becoming famous in Germany including newspaper articles.

Adolf#1 became very jealous, he couldn’t stand his brother having a successful career, so he convinced his parents to switch them.

At the age of 21, Alois and Adoir were driving in a car, when accidentally a drunken Jew crashed into them. Nobody came out alive.

It was a terrible loss for Klara and Adolf#2, but not really Adolf#1. He was sad a bit, but mostly relieved.

Before there death, Alois had made a will that everything he owned went to his lovely wife, Klara.

Adoir left all of her belongings to Adolf Hitler. And beside the name was a number 2 which meant in a secret way that everything was to be divided by the twins.

But unfortunately before Adolf#2 could take his share, Adolf#1 took his and his brother share. He left the house for good, buying a new house. He got servants, he got everything that rich people had. It was life in heaven for him. He did not speak either to his brother or even mother of jealousy towards his brother.

After a few days of planning the perfect plan, he decided to go for it.

The plan was to go and threaten Adolf#2 and make him leave to go to Australia with the other convicts. Also get a new haircut, and go with no memory of his family and life.

A few days later Adolf#2 decided to go. He said goodbye and left for a different life in the down under.

When Adolf#2 reached Perth, a small city in Australia, he was a free man, Australia wasn’t half as bad as others back in Germany used to say it was.

He made friends with James Crowe on the way of the ride. James Crowe was no convict, he was a young bloke from Ireland. James had come to Perth to work with his relatives as a farmer. He had relatives in a town close by called Kalgoolie. After lots of chit chatting, James asked Adolf if he wanted to go and live with his relatives for a short while and earn some cash as a farmer. Adolf had no other option other than saying yes.

A few months pass and Adolf decides to build a house for him to live in, on piece of land given by the government of Australia.

So Adolf started to dig out a big hill. While he was digging, he sees a shiny rock and reaches out to see what it is, when he finds out he found gold. He puts it in his pocket and starts digging again for more. At night he ends up taking a

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3 ANSWERS


  1. Perth is not a small city. Canberra is a small city. Perth is an average size city. Melbourne is a big city. London is a Gigantic Metropolis.

    Your story, good idea but your sentences, could be written better.


  2. I'm curious if this is how you get all your homework done.

  3. Is this your story or your outline? I can edit this if it is the story...

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