Anyone watch/watching Dr. Phil? ?

Question

Mothers who 'don't love their children' or don't want them any longer'.

The first one, a mom who adopted 2 children from Ukraine 4 years ago....a toddler who mom adores and a 4 year old who is 'the problem' and whom she is considering sending back to Ukraine....now that the girl is 8. Thoughts?

Answer 1

Oh my gosh, i'm going to record it for todays show and watch it tonight, leave this question up PLEASE!

It just started here, but I can't watch it while my kids are up, i'll have to watch it tonight.

Answer 2

Hi Tickled Blue,

I'm with Mom to Foster Children.  What if she had given birth to this 8 yr old?  Would she still give up on her?  You do not give up on your children especially if you are an adoptive parent!

I do not and will not ever condone this behavior.

I missed it here.  I'll see if i can find it on line.

Answer 3

I saw the program last year and was struck by the similarities between the little girl and my son.

Until someone has adopted or lived with a child with RAD they have absolutely no right to judge in my opinion. For all the things I have gone thru in my life, parenting my child with RAD is the most difficult. It is all pervasive in our lives and disrupts nearly every moment of the day (and sometimes the night). There are days I have to just get a hotel room and leave my hubby in charge because I need a moment to just gain perspective again. It is difficult for anyone to not take these types of behaviours associated with RADs personally. It took me a full year in to be able to detach from the very seemingly personal attacks against me just because I am his mother figure.

I refused to medicate him, because he is not "ill" and it is not a chemical imbalance. I refused to send him to respite as it would be to much for the poor child to deal with and he would take it as rejection. The only thing I could do (and can do) is stick by him no matter what he does, even if that sometimes means sacrificing my own health. (At the end of year one I ended up with chronic stress chest pains and began taking anti-anxiety meds because the stress of never knowing what was next just became to much. Would he kill the cat or his sister? Would he set fire to the house or try to poke out my eyeballs again?)This is the only way for him to find healing I believe.

This woman needs support. I know she pushed a lot of peoples triggers, mine included, but the last thing this child needs is to have another placement. Another placement just means that the RADs is winning and everyone else is losing. THis story made me so sad.

Answer 4

if it is the same one that was one twice last year, he lets the parents with the child with Down syndrome off easy and is very hard on the mom of the child she adopted.. though you do leave hating the mom...

no, all adopted kids are not crazy... many adoptive parents have unrealistic expectations.. many children have been deeply hurt by attachment therapy...

Answer 5

If it is the one I already saw (sounds like it) - you will hate that mother by the end of the show.  She is a horrible, wretched woman who couldn't have her own children for a reason.

Answer 6

I must have missed it.  I'll see if the transcript is on his website or something.

I think it's deplorable that parents of children with RAD (which is what I'm guessing is the case here) receive so little support that they feel there is no alternative but to disrupt the adoption.  And rather than understanding and supporting, the knee-jerk reaction is to condemn and judge.  "You adopted them, suck it up."  When more than likely, the people making those judgements have never seen or worked with (let alone adopted) a child under those circumstances.  

The problem here is lack of support and resources.  Though I'm not normally a fan of Dr. Phil, hopefully he will be able to bring some attention to this problem and give the parents and children the much needed help and support.

BTW, biological parents of RAD or PDD (pervasive development disorder) often have to file CHIPS petitions and allow the state to take custody so that the child can get some assistance and resources.  

Answer 7

Oh, God...if I were to watch it I would probably cry!  Children are not something you can just give away / give back just because you don't want them (anymore).  This just baffles me!  She adopted - she wanted the children - she should find a way to help her "troubled child"!  There are resources out the yin yang to help anyone who wants / needs the help!  ARG...I can't type anymore I am just too upset...

Answer 8

yes im watiching..most kids in foster care do have some sort of mental health issues due to what they've been through, the lady was right--she just wasnt prepared for the little girl....she needs additional attention for health and emotional reasons, and the mom seems to have given up bc shes not as easy going as the blonde girl

Answer 9

i havent watched this but i think thats mean u cant take on a child then send it bak thats just nasty she will have 2 work with the child 2 change it  

Answer 10

Its not uncommon and neither will it be for other Aps to defend her crime of buying a child and destroying  part of a childs soul.