Anyone who is adopted find out ........?

Question

That they had a sibling ......a OLDER Sibling ?

So you were the 2cnd child given up for adoption but the first was kept ?

How did you feel about ?

When did you find out about it ?

Have you reunited with your sibling ?

Has any adoptee who found out they had a older sibling that was also a only child ? so now how does that sibling feel ?

Answer 1

My cousin was the 4th sibling in her bio family...

My adopted children are siblings they are #2 and #3...of soon to be 6.

My children know--and are fully aware of all the other siblings... It's hard for my little girl as she was the only child of 5 so far who lived with their birth mother....

The first was placed at birth... My daughter and son were placed when my son was one year old--she was five years old.

Another family has adopted #4 and #5 and I have no idea what will happen to this little one on the way....

We are totally honest with our children... We don't have any pictures of the older one... but, contact with the family of the two little ones...

My ex was the yongest in his adoptive family and found his birth parents married to each other---with his younger sister...

When I was 21 I found out I was pregnant with my second baby--the first is only 14 months older... Most of my friends at the time tried very hard to convience me to abort her... Had I not been married and stable I am sad to say I would have decided to let her be adopted instead... It was only because I had great support that I was able to care for two babies that close....

I am sorry you are upset I can understand these feelings... My sweet little girl has so many mixed feelings but it is clear her siblings are deep in her thoughts and heart....

Answer 2

Interesting question- I have a sister 10 years older, and I am pretty sure my birth mom raised her- however , (I know that this is going to not be the most popular answer) however I am fine with it- for whatever reason my birth mom, at the time of my birth, could not raise me, she wrote a letter to my adoptive parents and it was wonderful-  I have not reunited with my sister- not that I would not like too- however also I have 2 adopted kids who have older siblings- that their birth mom kept.    My son has reunited with his family- and have gotten along very well with all of them- my younger daughter, at this time, says she has no interest- however that may change.

Answer 3

I am child number 4 of 6.

I am also the only one placed for adoption.

I found out when I had older sisters in my non id. I found out I had younger Sib's when I found my Mom.

Two  of my older Sib's want contact others do not.

I was raised an only child so I don't even know how to be a sister

I cant even begin to describe how it made me feel .

Answer 4

i was she kept the first child and i was given up for adoption . it really hurt when i found out all these things went round in my head . i got in touch with after adoption and i got to reed my notes . but now i don't care i have an ace family and happily married they call all rot for all i care

Answer 5

My father was adopted and his birthmother kept his older brother.  My Dad is hurt by this and doesn't want anything to do with his biological family.  Me, I'd love to find out about my biological grandmother, etc.  but can't becasue my Dad won't give us any information.

When I saw my son's final paperwork, I found out that he was in the same situation as my Dad.  PLEASE be serious with your answers here.  They could really help my son and I out later.  Thank in advance.

Answer 6

I gave my third child up for adoption for her safety.  Her adoptive parents let her know she had 2 half brothers still living with me.  I then married a man with 3 kids.   She met all of us in 2004 when my mother passed away because she knew her and visited often.  She stays in contact with one of my sister's kids and occasionally emails me.  We have visited her at her parents home (about 6 months ago) and plan to visit again when we are in the area.

Answer 7

I'd be pretty pissed off actually

My friend found this situation and was fine with it.  It was the older sibling that was overcome with guilt that he'd grown up with his family but his brother hadn't.  So sad for everyone.

Answer 8

Not quite the same for me - but I found an older sibling - ALSO adopted at birth - 5 yrs before me.

I was shocked - pissed off - every imaginable expletives came into my head.

10 years later I found her - and we have an awesome relationship.

I also have 3 full siblings - younger - that my mother and father had after marrying 6 months after my birth.

At this stage - they want nothing to do with me.

Too many secrets and lies - I'm thinking.

It pissed me off no end.

No matter what - I end up being the 'baddy' in the situation.

Given away because I was conceived and born at the wrong time - kept a secret from everyone and never grieved over - and now I'm a menace for returning and ruining the false sense of peace that they lived with.

An adoptee - always caught in the middle.

In the situation you explain - I'd be SUPER pissed - I'm sure.

Being given away - hurts a child - no matter which way you put it.

Answer 9

I was adopted at birth.  BM had a 2 year old son at the time.  She went on to marry and have another child with current husband.  I have "reunited" (spoken) with her but she refuses to tell her other 2 children about me.  It sucks knowing they are out there but I am not at a point right now where I want to contact them to spill her secret (me).  I just don't know how they will take the fact that their mother lied to them all of these years and will resent both me and her for telling and keeping the secret.  I do know that I will not take this to my grave but the time will need to be right for me.

Basically it sucks but I'm strong enough to know that this is her problem not mine.  I have know for as long as I was adopted that she had an older child than me.

Answer 10

I am so glad you posted this question our dd is the youngest of three children. She is still very young but I have often wondered how she will feel when she is able to make the connection she was adopted but her older two siblings still lives with  mom.

Answer 11

This doesn't really answer your questions but I felt compelled to comment. I had my son when I was 16 and found myself pregnant again shortly after that (with the same father). I ended up giving the 2nd child up for adoption (they are 20 months apart). My reasons for doing it were that I felt I could give each child a shot at a better life by doing that. Being so young, I needed to get a better education to be able to get a better job to support them. Their father took off when I was 3 months pregnant the second time. It would have been much harder on the first child to give him up as he had already been with me for 20 months. I did not plan on getting pregnant a 2nd time so soon. I don't know your situation but if you are asking those questions because of it, you may want to ask your birth parent(s) the reason you were given up. They may have been trying to give you a better life.

I have gotten married and had another child since but still love and miss my 1st daughter.