Anyones husband in the army??

Question

My partner wants me to marry him so when he joins the army i can go with him. I really dont want to but i feel i should support him? im really unsure what to do so wanted somone in the same sistuation who can tell me about it?

so when they are in 3 month trainning can they come home every wk end? and how oftern can they call you?

when u go to the countrys with them do u get really bored jus waiting til they get back? is there anything to do? do u get to see them every night?

how oftern do they go to countrys that you cannot go (its only for 4 years)

and is there anything else i should know, thank u sooo much xx

Answer 1

Hello! My husband has been in the Army for 4 years now.  If you are unsure about what you want, then don't marry him. I don't mean that in a rude way. I just mean, that joining into this kind of lifestyle is not something to be done lightly.  If you are having second thoughts now, then getting married will not help matters.

To answer some of your questions, though: No, they don't get to come home for a visit during their 3 month basic training, but there is Family Day and Graduation day that you are able to go see him. He will not be able to "sleep over" with you, but he will have some time to spend with you those two days.  He will then go to AIT..that is his training for his MOS (or Army job). In Basic, he can call maybe a few times, but not for long, and not before they are there for a couple of weeks.  

You can go to MOST counties with them..as long as it isn't a battle zone.  But, there are one year tours to Korea. They have to do those alone...unless you pay for your own way there, and then that is a whole OTHER issue! lol  I am in Germany now with my husband and 3 children. We have been here for almost 3 years and have had wonderful experiences!!! Yes, they get to come home every night...it's just like a regular job..just more dangerous at times. And of course, plans can change at the drop of a hat.  lol

It all depends on what orders he gets as to where he goes and how often. It depends on where the Army needs him.

I highly recommend this place....   http://forums.armywives.com/phpBB2/searc...  

I got there ALL the time. It's a Army wives forum, and you can ask as many questions as you like, and the women there are wonderful!!! GL to you!!

Answer 2

Our family is Army:  Grandfather, Dad was career Army, Brother, my son and me.  It is a challenging lifestyle and not everyone can handle the demands and stress.

When your boyfriend initially joins, he will be sent to Basic Combat Training.  This is an 8 week intense training period and you will not be allowed to join him.  He will be training pretty much 24 hours a day, 7 days a week, with brief periods when he will be allowed personal time to write letters and call family.  Once this training period is complete, he will graduate and you along with the rest of his family can attend the ceremony and see him before he is sent for Advanced Individual Training.

Advanced Individual Training prepares the soldier for the job they have been assigned based on testing and skills.  Depending on their MOS, training could be anywhere from 6 - 12 weeks in duration.  During this training, you will not be allowed to join him.  He will have classroom studies along with more combat training.  He will have a little more freedom than Basic Combat Training, but not much.  Once a soldier completes AIT, they graduate and are allowed about 30 days personal leave to return home, visit with family and prepare to move to their 1st duty station.  If you are married, this would be the time that you could join him.

Keep in mind, though, that being a soldier is not a regular 8-5 job.  There will be some days that life will seem "normal", but a soldier is trained to be ready for duty 24 hours a day, 7 days a week.

If you are fortunate and your soldier gets an overseas duty station, it is a wonderful opportunity to experience life in another country, view a different culture.  My Dad was stationed in Belgium for three years, we loved it.  But, there may be times when the soldier is sent to countries where you are not allowed to join him.  During these times, you have the option to remain on post with post housing, or return home to stay with family.  It's your choice.

I hope that this very brief outline of what military life is like gives you a general idea of what to expect and can help you with your decision.  Another thing to consider is military pay is LOW.  Very low.  When you factor in the sacrifice, being duty ready 24 hours a day, being apart, etc., the pay does not equal the job.  But, when soldiers sign up to defend our great country, they do this out of duty an honor.  Their wives and family must appreciate this or they will never make it -- whether that soldier is only in for 4 years or a lifetime.

Best Wishes.

Answer 3

if you don't want to marry this person then you shouldn't plain and simple. you can still support him without marring him. my guess is he wants the extra money that comes with getting married. you can always move to were he is station and live off post. so you can still see each other. but don't get married before your ready. heard so many stories from the guys about how they just got married before going to basic and once they were done they were getting a divorce for one reason or another. so only get married when the two of you are ready to completely commit to each other. its a lonely life being the wife/gf of a solider. they are gonna be gone for long periods of time.  

Answer 4

i am a army wife too.and it is a touch job.but At the same time it can be nice.why he is in basic he can call every sunday.and write.then  when  he get to AIT you can talk everyday after class.and but he cannot come home.til he is done.but my husband was in basic for 6 weeks then when right from there ad when to AIT and his AIT was 17 weeks and i did  get to see him for a few days but i had to go out there to see him.but like  i said it is nice to be in a army wife. email if u want  

Answer 5

Do not marry him army man suck and cheat and stay gone.

Answer 6

being an army wife is the toughest job in the world but it has to be one of the most rewarding. i wouldnt marry him jsut because hes goin in the army but if you aready planned on it then youll get to go with him to his duty stations and h**l get paid ALOT more. if yall arent married he has to stay in the barracks. when hes at training he wont be able to come home on the weekends. sorry... but depending on how far away it is from you, you might be able to go to his graduation. when hes in basic h**l get to call once a week and when hes in AIT it will be about everyday he gets to call. depending on what kind of unit he goes in will be how many times he gets deployed. in 4 yrs he might go 1 or 2 times. it jsut all depends on what he does in the army and what kind of unit hes with. when he gets stationed in other countries sometimes you can go and sometimes you cant. if you cant he goes for 1 yr and if you can he goes for 3. he might not get stationed in any other countries as a duty station though. if he goes just be supportive and know its goin to be hard but it will be worth it for you guys in the end. enjoy the travel you have the chance to live in countries most will nly dream of even visiting. benifets are wonderful. all of your medical is covered the only thing you pay for is like 20 dollars a month for dental. jsut when hes gone jsut keep busy and keep yourself on some sort of a routine, if not you will go crazy. i wont say there wont be any hard days, because there are, but if you do it, be proud! when my husband said we were moving 9 hours away from home i was scared, i cried and i cried, but you know what? i actually happen to like it down here and know i get to go visit all of my family and friends and they can come visit me too!!

if you need someone to talk to you are more than welcome to msg me. hope all goes well

Answer 7

Well from what I've heard, my brother is in the Army. He married his wife a few months before he decided to join. She supported him and she loved him and wanted to be with him, that's why she married him. If you love this man and want to make a life with him then that's why you marry him, not just supporting him. You can support him without marrying him. Think about why you really want to marry him before you do it. No matter what your lives hold before you, you will do it together.  

Answer 8

I cant answer the marriage bit as i have not yet married my partner. Although it is summat i would look at doing in the near future o i can join my partner

With regards to basic training, and then any further specialist training he may do - he can call anytime he is not working and return home any weekend he is not working. My partner completed his trainging in may and he was home virtually every weekend. The only time they cant come home is if the are doing an exercise over the weekend, which is rare. He wont be able to call during work hours - they usually finish around 4ish.

I have seen both sides of going with ur partner and staying at home. personally i chose to stay while by OH is based in germany. He has been out there since mid May and has come home twice so far..... once for a long weekend and once for 3 weeks (he went back on sunday) once they are out of training they get summat silly like 35 days holiday a year so long weekends and long breaks are possible to do, and the flights are cheap. I decided not to go out just yet as i have my family and friends here in the UK.

However, a friend i went to school with married her partner and lived with him in Germany for 2 years, and in the last month has moved to gibralter with him. She says she wudnt swap it for the world as she has made so many friends, even in gibralter already. However she does have a little boy which gets her out to mums and tots a few times a week and mixing with other mums.

If you get married and go into married quarters with them then yes you would get to see them virtually every night as you would be living in your own house/flat on or near the barracks. the only time you wouldnt get to see him at night is if he is on exercise or on guard duty. Which again is not very often.

With regards to him going off on tour, it depends on what he will be doing in the army as to how often he will be off on tour with out u. it varies between 6mnths every year to 6 mnths every 4 years. In the middle of the 6 mnths they et a 2 week r and r where they come home.

the other option you have is to ask him when he makes his posting preferences to pick uk locations. Towards the end of basic training they are given a list of barracks where they can go all oer the worls, and they have to pick thir preferences. Ask him to pick a UK location so that you can look at renting a property close to the barracks where he can live with you. that isnt as daunting as going into a forgein country with no friends....well to me it isnt anyway lol.

Hope i helped!!

Answer 9

Regardless if the one you love is in the Army or not, I really think that you should do what your mind is telling you to do, and you know the answer to that one, you are not ready.

Before I met and married my husband, I dated a guy who was in the Navy and he wanted me to move out to California with him, I did not want to hurt his feelings and I did not want to go, I had all of my bags packed and ready to go and at the last minute, I busted out crying and told my grandmother that I did not want to go!!!! I was so scared!!!!!

After I told my grandmother, I felt so relieved!!!! I knew what I had to do next is call my "boyfriend" in California and tell him the decision I had made, he did not like it, but I felt sooo much better!!!

We broke up after that, but I can't tell you the relief I felt, here I was doing something to make him happy and at the same time, I was miserable!!!!

You have to do the right thing, and I can tell that you do not want to do what he wants you to do, it is hard, but you know your decision.

I learned the hard way that you have to do what you think is best, you have to live your life for you, and only you, if you live your life according to other people, and their dreams and their wishes, not yours, you will never be happy!

Answer 10

Do not marry that man if you are not ready for the challenge of being a military spouse.  Military spouses have the hardest jobs.  When they go away for 3 month training, NO, they don't' come home on the weekends.  Of course there are things to do.  You are in the world, its not like your in a bubble or something.  How often they go places you can't follow depends on his career, that can not be projected.  If you have major issues with not being around them all the time, having to go months at a time without seeing them face to face, unable to deal with moving where you leave every 3 to 5 years, i suggest you don't get into this marriage.  He is going to need a strong supportive wife, PERIOD.

Answer 11

Army or not don't marry him for that reason.  If he was not joining the Army would you marry him?  If the answer is no then don't do it.

During his initiao training no he cannot come home.  When he gets to his first duty station, unless it is Kuwait, and maybe Korea, you cannot go everywhere else as far as I know (Army 18 years) you can go.  You can get a job on base, or you can volunteer or stay at home.  Being overseas gives you the oppurtunity to travel and have fun.

Answer 12

my friends son is in the army. he got married, had a little girl but now they`ve have split up as the wife wants a life. she knew what she was getting into when she married him so i feel she should of stuck by him. think long and hard before you choose what you want. always remember though absence makes the heart grow fonder.