Anything funny thing...?

Question

Any joke or anything that will make me laugh! Plz!

Answer 1

What's the difference between a dead baby and a trampoline?

When you jump on a trampoline, you take your boots off

What's the difference between a truck full of bowling balls and a truck full of dead babies?

You can't unload a truck full of bowling balls with a pitchfork.  

Answer 2

There was a man who left his wife for another woman.  Depressed she went to the beach.  There she found a genie in a bottle.  He told her she could have three wishes but that for every thing she got her husband got double.  First wish she asked for a million dollars. He got two.  Second wish she asked for the world's largest diamond. Poof he got two.  She then asked the genie is it really true that he has got double what I got?  Genie said Yes, I am sorry but it's true.  Finally she said ok genie I am ready for my last wish.  Beat me half to death.

Answer 3

Q. How do you make a blonde laugh on Saturday?

A. Tell her a joke on Wednesday.

Q. How do you confuse a blonde?

A. You can't, they have always been like that.

Q: Why did the blonde scale the chain-link fence?

A: To see what was on the other side.

Q. How do you amuse a blonde for hours?

A. Write 'Please turn over' on both sides of a piece of paper.

Q. What do twenty blondes standing ear to ear make?

A. A wind tunnel.

Q. How do you confuse a blonde?

A. Put them in a round room and tell them to sit in the corner.

Q. How does a blonde try to kill a fish?

A. She drowns it.

Q. What did the blonde's left leg say to her right leg?

A. Between the two of us, we can make a lot of money.

Q. How does a blonde part their hair?

A. By doing the splits.

Q. What did the blondes right leg say to the left leg?

A. Nothing, they haven't met!

Q. A blonde is going to London on a plane. How can you steal her window seat?

A. Tell her the seats that are going to London are all in the middle row.

Q. Why do blondes wash their hair in the sink?

A. Because that's where your supposed to wash vegetables.

Q. What's a blondes favorite nursery rhyme?

A. Humpme Dumpme

Q. Why did the blonde like the car with a sunroof?

A. More leg-room!

Q. Why don't blondes use vibrators?

A. They chip their teeth.

Answer 4

I found Osama Bin Ladien! he was in my junk drawer. Always the last place I look!

LOLOLOLOL!  

Answer 5

Why is sperm white?

A:Coz if it was black it wouln't be able to swim!

LMAO@@

Mo

Answer 6

I know of a wonderful place where the sun never shines. That's right, I AM talking about SEATTLE, WASHINGTON.

Answer 7

What a smart kid!

A  second  grader asked her mother the age-old question, "How did I get here?"

Her mother told her, "God sent you."

Did God send you, too?" asked the child.

"Yes, Dear," the mother replied.

"What about Grandma and Grandpa?" the child persisted.

He sent them also," the mother said.

"Did he send their parents, too?" asked the child.

"Yes, Dear, He did," said the mother patiently.

"So you're telling me that there has been no s*x in this family for 200 years! No wonder everyone's so grouchy around here."

Answer 8

i don't have 1 but give anuj best answer...dat was funny.lol

Answer 9

how about an ebarassing moment for me yesterday.

I took my three year old son to the grocery store in his stroller. I had a branch that I was tapping him on the shoulder. As we got to the store I put the branch underneath the stroller and took it into the store.

As we got to the check out (with a hot cashier, which adds to the embarrassment) the cashier is talking to my son. My son blurts out loud with a female bagger and another woman behind me in line that Daddy has a big STick. The problem is my son can not pronounce "ST." It comes out as a "D." (I'll give you a moment to read his comment again). The woman, convinced she heard my son wrong, asked, "what was that? " My daddy has a big STick, down there." As he points over the back seat of his stroller which sort of points at my mid section.

I then pull the branch out from the bottom of the stroller and state, "he's talking about this." My son then chimes in again. "See, daddy has a big STick." The woman tried to hold a straight face. As i paid up and rolled away. I heard the lady behind me address the cashier, "Yea, but I wonder if it is true?" Which the three ladies roared out load.

Answer 10

a 20 year old virgin went to an old ladie's house to deliver a package. the man said sign here. she signed and then the man got back into his truck and left.

MUAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHA!!!!

vote me as best answer plz!! :-)

-anooj