Ap's, if you were able to see into the future before you adopted...?

Question

And if you saw in the future that "your" adoptee would be unhappy about his/her adoption, would you still have adopted? I mean, if there was NOTHING you could do to make them be happy, grateful little adoptees, would you still want them?

Answer 1

Shelby, right on!

Talk about a loaded, slanted  question!

But to answer it, yes.  I would.  I don't expect my children from adoption to grow up "happy and grateful" anymore than I expect my biological child to be "happy and grateful".  

ETA: I haven't called anyone out, expressing their right to be heard.  The only thing I've said is that it's disrespectful for someone to tell another person what they should be feeling or that their feelings are invalid.  I've stayed out of the "felt the loss" vs "felt no loss" debate because I'm not an adoptee.

Answer 2

Considering how much we love our children AND they would've been adopted by someone else anyway, yes.  

Would a bio parent rather not have had their children if they knew the child might not be happy about part of their life?

Answer 3

Yes!  I do not expect my children to be grateful.  They have a right to independent thoughts and feelings.  

Great question.

Answer 4

Yes I would have. But then again, I don't expect my adopted child to be anymore grateful than my bio kids.

Answer 5

I'm happy for what I have, and "ungrateful" for what I lost. =P

Answer 6

I never expected him to be a 'happy, grateful little adoptee,' so of course I would still want him. I don't remember being a happy, grateful little bio child to my parents. In fact, from age 8-18, I was pretty much a self-absorbed, self-interested kid. I am surprised my parents wanted to keep me, but I guess that's what you do when you love someone unconditionally.

<<adoptive mommy through foster care.

Answer 7

Whats with all the hypothetical questions on here lately.  Isn't reality good enough.

I find these questions very loaded because if you say no, you are basically saying you would give your child away in a heartbeat and if you say yes then you obviously do not care about your child's feelings.

All I can say is that my children are entitled to their feelings and all I can do is be a loving and supportive little adoptive parent.