Aparents did you insist on?

Question

open adoptions to preserve the first family connection?

Answer 1

Our situation is different.  We were going through foster care and a termination of parental rights.  We did offer that if they parents relinquished (before) the termination begun then we would have an open adoption.  Their idea of an open adoption was to see him everyday, put him to sleep at night, bring him to school / vacations...etc.  We obviously do not have an open adoption because letters and visits once a year, they wouldn't hear of it!  We went on with the termination of parental rights and now they no longer get to see him.  We do however have a "copy" of his original birth certificate (we needed to register him for school) to keep and give him when he gets older...

Answer 2

we wanted an open adoption because we felt it would be in the best interest for our child. we wanted our child to know their entire story from the very beginning. we weren't positive about the degree of openness. but after the first visit and now a few years have gone past, we are so very happy we choose a fully open adoption.

it is working very well i believe, and hope it continues to do so.

am i seeing double today?

Answer 3

This is a good question.  From an adoptee perspective who was adopted during the closed BSE era, I wish more openness would have been an option.  Even just the availability of more information about my first family.  The desire to know about them and connect with them is something that is completely separate from the love and connection with the adoptive family; I wish more people could understand this.  No matter how much you love your adoptive family, for some adoptees, the not knowing who and where you came from is like...stumbling around in a dark room, tripping over furniture.  You'd just like to be able to find that light switch and be able to see.

Answer 4

We adopted internationally, but our adoption is probably as "open" as legally possible.  We did meet our children's birthmother in-country and we do send letters/pictures using our agency as an intermediary (which is legal).  We send our updates to our agency, who courier it to the country, where our children's birthmother can (and has) signed for and received them.

Edit: Woohoo!  I got blocked too!  I'm in the club!

Answer 5

Yes, it was very important to us.  Neither my husband or myself would have been comfortable with a "closed" adoption.

With our international adoption we knew it would be harder.  We do send pictures and letters thru the agency and government in Africa.  We also decided that we would travel to Africa every other year to visit with our dd's ffather and family.

Answer 6

Why are you asking this question again?

Answer 7

We adopted internationally, so it's a bit difficult. We can't afford visits right now.  But we do have all our children's first family information. Having that was very important for us - because the kids would want it,  and because I wanted to be as sure as I could be that our adoption was ethical.  We are in regular contact with one family. With the other, we are still looking for someone reliable to deliver our letters and pictures.

Answer 8

yeah, she has me blocked too. I think it is because she is just immature. People like that don't like to hear other people's view points on a subject.

Answer 9

What's up with the games here?

ETA: I'm an Aparent and I'm not blocked. I've been away for several days. I can see the maturity level here has gotten worse. Come on!