Apartment Dilemma?

Question

My boyfriend and I have been together for almost 4 years and we have a 3 year old son together. We both currently live seperately and we started looking at apartments. We found the PERFECT one and it's within a reasonable price.

Problem is our parents.... they don't want us to move in together right now. My Dad says that it is morally wrong and my Mom just says that we will end up on welfare and in poverty. (she's a case worker for the state).

They said that if we got married it would be ok, but I'm not quite ready for marriage. I'm just now a Sophmore in College and I want to be finished with school completely. Our plan was Fall of 2010.

I just don't know what to do.... I really feel we could make it on our own. I just don't want to anger my family. We have already figured out the expenses of living. We already have most of what we would need.

What should I do?

Move in against parents wishes.

Or wait...

I'm 19 (6 months from being 20) and he's 23.

Answer 1

It seems only natural that a child should live with both parents if the parents are still involved. Morally wrong???Isnt it a little late to give that speech?? You have been a mother for 3 years and now legally an adult it is your choice, if they can get over you having a child, they can get over you moving in with your family unit. Marriage wont guarantee happiness or financial stability. Try your hardest to get a good job, as well as your partner, budget, and remember to have mommy and daddy time to make sure your relationship stays alive. NEVER get married unless you are READY! Thats how marriages fail, dont set yourself up for failure. (which i am not judging so i am sorry if thats how it sounds because im not, i accually applaud you for taking responsibility for your child and for trying to make your life better for you and your child.) Good Luck! i hope everything works out for you and your family, and i wish you all a happy, healthy life:)

*Just to add, even though i do think that it is great that you want to make good decisions for your family, i do not think you should TTC until you ARE ready to marry. I dont quite understand how you are ready for children with your boyfriend of 4 years but not marriage. You will be putting your current child into school soon so you will have more expenses to come. Your child will also be old enough soon to be involved with sports, etc. I would focus on your current child and your relationship. Waiting will make it all worthwhile i promise, im not saying to rush marriage, but you should be at a place in your relationship where you plan on having your life together forever to plan to have a family together forever, because thats what planning children is.

Answer 2

I think that it would be better for your family (you, your boyfriend, and your child) if you all did live together.  You are old enought to make your own decisions.  Your parents just don't want anything bad to happen to you and are worried that with you living away, they can't protect you anymore.  Once you move out your parents will still be mad, but will eventually get used to the idea.  If you want to not p**s off your parents you could maybe wait until you turn 20, maybe they will think that you are not a teenager anymore at that point.  Do what you feel is right.  You need to think of what is best for you and your child.

Answer 3

I think you should live YOUR life. Your parents will understand that its whats best for you both AND for THEIR grandson. They'll eventually come around and they'll let you get married when YOU feel its right. Move in, if you guys can do it and live comfortably, then I say go for it...you guys are already spending 2x what you would if you lived together by living separately.

Answer 4

Why shouldn't the two of you live together if you have a child together? You both are adults and can make your own decisions. I think your child deserves to live in a house with BOTH of his parents, especially if they are together. Yes it's going to be hard but if you set your mind to it, then you guys can do it. You both are going to need a job to afford rent & utilities plus food and anything your child needs.